My Own Personal Sun
by Sonia Mari
Summary: What would have happened had Edward NOT returned? Could Bella find happiness without him? Jacob sure wants to help her try! Jacob/Bella
1. Chapter One

**A/N:** First time ever writing a fanfic – I just fell so in love with Stephenie Meyer's characters that I can't let them be! She of course owns all rights and all that good stuff; I am but an overly inspired creative vessel.

The scene is set in the middle of New Moon Chapter 15 – Bella is sitting on the beach waiting for Jacob to return. She is feeling that old familiar burning and tearing in her chest and desperately wanting to stop it…

_I imagined the way Edward's voice would have sounded in my head – furious, velvet, perfect… The burning in my chest flared agonizingly._

There had to be some way to quench it. The pain was growing more and more intolerable by the second. I glared at the cliffs and the crashing waves.

_Well why not? Why not quench it right now?'_

* * *

Chapter 1

The wind was picking up a bit, though it was still not much more than a blustery breeze. I wrapped my arms around myself trying to literally hold myself together, and stumbled off toward the path that would lead to the cliff top above. The sounds of the waves crashing on the shore faded behind me as I made my way up the trail through the forest where Jacob taught me how to ride the motorcycle. I tripped over everything and stumbled over nothing-at-all, frequently throwing my hands out to catch myself. My palms were bleeding and I thought my knees were too, but I'd push myself back up and wrap my arms tightly around my chest again trudging forward.

My vision blurred as hot tears seared my eyes before running down my face. My breath was coming in short uneven gasps and my knees felt ready to melt beneath me. The rain started, and the wind seemed must harsher now, howling almost… or _was_ that the wind after all? I felt someone behind me and I spun around my eyes wide with terror, to find myself inches from Jacob's face.

"Jake," I managed in a whisper before my knees did seem to melt beneath me and I felt myself falling, but instead of the thud and sudden pain I anticipated it was as if I fell into a warm firm cloud. I tried to keep my eyes open, he pulled me into his chest running his cheek against the top of my head. I felt a smile playing at the corners of my lips as I nestled into him, giving in to the darkness that enveloped me.

My eyes felt like there was sand paper beneath their lids, and I was having a hard time clearing the thick fog from my head. I rubbed my fists into my eyes vigorously, trying to force them open. I was on a large bed in a seemingly familiar small room. I rolled over bringing my eyes into focus and recognized Jacob's bedroom. I sat up, perhaps too quickly, as the room seemed to dip and sway momentarily. I flopped onto my back and decided to wait for my equilibrium to balance back out before trying again.

There was a soft knock on the door as it slowly opened. I turned my head to see Jacob peeking around the door; it looked like he was trying not to disturb me in case I was still sleeping.

His face lit up when he saw that I was awake; his big warm grin working its anesthetic magic on my tumultuous insides.

"Bells!" he sighed, relief evident in his voice. He stepped into the room and pushed the door shut behind him.

"How ya feelin'?" he asked, settling down on the edge of the bed beside me. He reached up and moved the stray sprigs of hair from my face, tucking them behind my ear. I could feel the warmth of his skin seconds before I felt his fingers graze my cheek. He took my chin in his hand and pulled my face toward his, his eyes imploring deeply into mine - searching for something hidden in the depths of my eyes.

I brought my hands up to cover his large hand and closed my eyes. I lay there silently as several minutes ticked by, just reveling in the peace of the moment. Breathing him in, feeling his warmth, feeling safe - the pain in my chest was barely noticeable. "I'm fine Jacob," I replied softly. My eyes felt so heavy; I could barely keep them open enough to see him through my lashes. I tried to smile at him, but wasn't sure I had the strength to make my facial muscles work. The darkness reclaimed me.

The next time I opened my eyes it was very dark in the room. Jacob had apparently covered me with a quilt before lying down behind me. I lay as still as I could, not wanting to disturb him as he snored gently and pulled his arm tighter around me. His body heat felt good, and I found myself nestling deeper into him, his breath hot against my neck as he turned his head down into my hair.

The heavy arm that was slung across me moved and I felt his hand on my arm, caressing me, his warm hand rubbing my arm to my shoulder and back to my wrist. He inhaled deeply and then sighed, he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tightly up against him.

I turned to him and caught a glimpse of fire in his eyes before he fought to conceal it.

"Where were you going Bella?" He asked quietly, bringing one hand up to stroke my face as he spoke. "What were you doing in the forest when we found you?"

It occurred to me that the fire in his eyes had been anger, I'd gone wandering off aimlessly and gotten lost in the forest; surely that's what he thought. There was no way he could have known my intentions… My desperate need to hear _his_ voice…

I looked away guiltily. "I'm sorry Jake…" I could feel the tears threatening already.

He forced me to look at him; his face was so close to mine… His face was flush, "I don't want you to be sorry Bella," his eyes begged me to let him in, to be honest with him. "I just want to know what you were out there for, you were almost to the cliff top," his brow creased, "surely you weren't going out there to jump?!?! That would have been suicide in this weather… the rocks… the current would have tore you apart!" His black eyes flashed angry, crazed, confused… hurt?

I cast my eyes down, staring at the mattress, unable to meet his questioning gaze. There was no way I could ever make him understand the nightmares, the voice in my head, the agony in my chest – the feeling of being less than worthy, less than complete… Like a chunk of me had been ripped out when _he_ left… that day in the woods… How could I tell him that I just couldn't bear to speak _any_ of their names? Or about the physical pain I felt when I heard any of them spoken?

I tried to look up at him, but I could feel his eyes boring into me, and I could not meet his gaze; I shuddered as a chill ran through me.

"Bella…" he started, "What were you _TRYING_ to do?" He brought his face down closer to mine, trying to catch my eye. "Did you… Did you _WANT_ to hurt yourself?" His voice diminishing in volume, not much above a whisper as the last two words left his lips.

"No." I answered simply and honestly. Gently turning away from him enough to run my cheek briefly against his. I pulled back and met his gaze, wanting to reassure him that I wasn't suicidal. Truly I hadn't meant myself any harm. I _WAS_ going to jump off the cliff, but in the cliff diving sense of the phrase. I was going for reckless… not suicidal. He had enough on his plate without having to do any extra worrying on my account. I leaned in to plant a soft kiss on his creased forehead.

It _was_ actually an embarrassingly stupid idea in retrospect; I hadn't given a second's thought as to what might await me down there amongst the dark rushing waves.

"Totally stupid I will not argue, I obviously hadn't thought it out, but I was waiting and waiting and I was anxious and impatient and bored? And I saw the ledge from the beach and made kind of a snap decision and I was going to cliff dive." I felt like a total idiot.

"I swear Jake, come on… you know me right? Am I really _that_ kind of self destructive?"

He searched my eyes for answers, and I guess he decided I was right. He let out a long deep sigh and pulled me tight against him in a huge bear hug. The air lightened immediately.

He went to his closet and tossed me a huge button down shirt. "You're a mess," he teased. "Shower's the 1st door on the right. Rachel left some toiletries when she came home the last time, help yourself."

"That bad huh?" I asked sheepishly. I felt the color rise into my cheeks.

He just chuckled, "I'll see what I can forage us up to eat while you get cleaned up."

He slipped out of sight around the door and I felt the edges of my shredded middle burn a little hotter with him away from me by any decree.

I grabbed my bag and the gigantic shirt and hurried to the bathroom. I gasped as I encountered my reflection in the mirror. I really did look a mess! My hair was knotted and tangled; my face was dirty and marked with tears streaks. I started the shower and while I waited for the water to warm up I dug my comb out of my bag and started trying to tame my hair.

After my shower I squeezed some toothpaste onto my finger and brushed my teeth the best I could and managed to comb my hair out with minimal loss. I shrugged into Jacob's shirt, inhaling deeply - pleased that it faintly smelled like him. I buttoned all but the very top button and glanced down noting that it came past my knees.


	2. Chapter Two

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 2

I stepped out of the bathroom and headed down the hall toward the kitchen. Billy was sitting in his chair watching what at a glance I thought to be a football game. He looked up at me and smiled warmly as I entered the room.

"'Morning Bella," he said fondly in spite of the fact that it was nearing 4:00, "I spoke with Charlie this morning, told him you kids played hard and you were sleeping in. And if you'd like, I also cleared it with him for you stay on out here tonight and head home tomorrow."

_Hmmm… Wouldn't have seen that coming…_

"Thanks Billy," I really was grateful, it wasn't a long drive back to Forks, but I didn't quite feel up to it and I especially didn't feel ready to face Charlie yet. "I'll probably take you up on that."

He smiled again and was then fully engrossed in the ballgame that had come back on.

I walked on through to their small kitchen and there was Jacob, he had two places set at the tiny table and was fumbling through the cabinets and mumbling beneath his breath. I leaned against the doorframe and silently watched him. He turned and dropped an open bag of Doritos onto the table and pulled one of the chairs out as he looked up and smiled, gesturing for me to come sit down.

He had bread, cold cuts, cheese, peanut butter, jelly, and a variety of condiments spread across the table. "I wasn't sure what you'd want," he offered, "and we don't exactly keep a fully stocked kitchen."

I slid into the chair that he offered and he sat down across from me. I watched him slapping bread, meat and cheese together until he had 5 or 6 sandwiches on his plate. He looked up and saw me just watching him and he slipped two pieces of bread on the plate in front of me.

"Eat something Bells," his dark eyes filling with concern.

I wasn't hungry, but I knew better than to argue. I took a piece of cheese and a piece of ham from the middle of the table and assembled a sandwich. He had finished two of his by the time I had mine together and he was reaching for the Doritos. I nibbled unenthusiastically at the sandwich and popped open the can of warm soda that he had sat next to my plate.

I watched him from the corner of my eye, as we ate in comfortable silence. His shaggy, black hair fell into his face every time he reached out for anything on the table. His dark eyes kept casting glances at me when he thought I wasn't looking.

I finished my sandwich and got up from the table, busying myself by putting away the things that Jacob had drug out. He swallowed his 6th sandwich and shoved a handful of chips into his mouth as he got up to help me tidy up.

I stood at the sink washing our plates when he came up from behind. I felt him there, just a couple of inches or so behind me, and I leaned back into him. He wrapped his strong arms around my waist and squeezed me tight against him. I found so much comfort in his warm, strong embrace.

I was so very grateful for Jacob, I really don't know how I would have survived these past few months without him, I turned to face him and immediately pulled back; the look in his eyes caught me off guard and said so much… I felt horribly guilty – and ashamed. Jacob was my best friend, and I would love him forever, but not the way his eyes told me that he loved me. I quickly looked down, and his look changed to one of hurt and then anger, as he processed my rejection.

He dropped his head and walked back to the small table. He picked up the chip bag and tossed it back into the pantry shutting the door just a little too hard. He sighed deeply and then with just a hint of chagrin in his voice he asked, "Wanna go for a walk down by the beach?" He reached his hand out for mine his dark eyes met mine pleadingly; the look on his face was that of a young child who had just been reprimanded.

I hated feeling this way; Jacob was my sun, the only time the awful pain in my chest was bearable was when he was near, he was the only one that had made me smile since… _they_ left, he gave me the strength to keep going. Why did I keep finding myself hurting him? I felt like a horrible person, taking advantage of Jacob's kindness for my own selfish needs. Repeatedly causing him pain by constantly reminding him that I couldn't return his feelings for me…

"Jake…" I started, wondering if maybe I should just go ahead and drive back into Forks tonight.

"C'mon." He urged, stretching his outreached arm closer to me, "let's just go for a walk."

I stepped toward him and his large hand covered mine and he started towing me out of the house. I was overcome with self-loathing as I realized that I just couldn't give him up. Once outside he pulled me closer to him and slung his arm around my shoulder nonchalantly. I told myself that I should remove his arm, that by allowing him these small intimacies I was only setting him up for more pain. I raised my hand up to his, intending to gently slip his arm from my shoulder – but he caught my hand in his and kept it there, tightening his fingers around mine. "S'okay Bells," he muttered, as though he could read my mind.

We walked toward the beach, lost in our respective thoughts. He led us along the water's edge to a familiar piece of driftwood and sat down, pulling me down next to him. The comfortable, natural way that we sat at our spot and talked… about school, the motorcycles, his friends, and my friends – it reminded me of the way things used to be between us. I yearned for less complicated times.

I sat on my driftwood perch listening to the waves crashing against the nearby rocks and watching him through the veil of hair that fell down the sides of my face. He was just a foot or so away from me, close enough that I could still feel the warmth radiating off from him. He had a small stick in his hand; he was leaning over his knees doodling in the sand. His white T-shirt practically glowed in the moonlight, the darkness not hiding the muscles rippling beneath, his strong jaw… his deep dark eyes. It wasn't the first time I'd found myself thinking that he was beautiful.

He looked up at me then and smiled my smile. The wind was much colder now coming off the sea; and I shivered as a chill ran through me.

Jacob stood and pulled me to my feet. "I guess it _is_ getting' a little cool," he realized, "let's head back to the house." We walked back slowly, his arm around my shoulders, his hand rubbing my arm trying to warm me with the friction.

Billy was nowhere to be seen, I assumed he had gone on to bed. We walked inside and I plopped down on the old couch.

Jacob reappeared with a blanket and he gently laid it across me. He sat beside me and grabbed the remote and started flipping through the channels. It didn't take long before I found his arm around my waist and myself nestling into his chest. I wasn't even aware of just how we moved into this position… It was just natural, safe, and warm.

My eyes suddenly felt so very heavy; it was all I could do to keep them open. His face was nuzzling me; I thought I felt him kissing my hair, the top of my head… On the very verge of unconsciousness I felt his hand gently graze my cheek, stroke my hair back, and glide down my neck… His head tilted down closer to me, his breath hot on my skin as he chanced the softest most fleeting kiss on my forehead. I heard him whisper, so softly to my ear… "Bella," he let out a heart-wrenching sigh, "God Bella, I love you."

The emotion is his feathery soft whisper was so evident, he sounded like he was hurting… so much. The thought of him hurting _again_ because of me only further damaged my already busted heart.

I wanted to take his pain away, to comfort him, but sleep was the only thing that I had the strength for. "Jacob…" I muttered, but then I fell into a warm, peaceful sleep unlike any that I had experienced in a long time.


	3. Chapter Three

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 3

The next couple of months kind of blurred together for me. School dismissed before I realized it and I was constantly working, tending to Charlie, or hanging out in La Push with Jacob and the pack.

Angela, Ben, Mike, and Jessica came out to First Beach for the 4th of July, we had a bonfire and before it was over it seemed like _everybody_ was there. Emily came with what seemed like mountains of food; it was after midnight before we finally started packing up.

Charlie seemed thrilled about the turn I had taken since Jacob reentered my life.

On the inevitable occasion that he would catch me in one of my weaker moments, he would even nudge me out the door. Sometimes under the pretense of some obviously less than important message to deliver to Billy, sometimes just outright suggesting… "_Why don't you go talk to Jacob_?" or he'd say "_Jake called, mentioned somethin' about you comin' out..._" And the there was that one time when he'd heard me in my room crying uncontrollably and he called and asked Jake to come visit me….

I shuddered at the memory, my arms instinctively embracing my still tender chest…

_I'd agreed to spend the afternoon in Port Angeles with Angela. We were going to catch a matinee, do some school shopping, and grab an early dinner. Jessica had heard us mention it at the bonfire on the 4th. She was too caught up in Mike to think much of it at the time; the two of them had just gotten back together AGAIN…_

_Angela called me the very next day._

"_Hey Bella..." she said when I answered. The light-heartedness that was so typically in her voice was absent. I knew immediately that something wasn't right._

"_Hey Ang!"_

"_Hey… Bella…" she struggled, "I was thinking…errr… ummm…" she floundered. I could imagine her sitting on the floor beside her bed with that frustrated look on her face. She was undoubtedly the best __**human**__ girl friend I had ever had…_

"_Ang," I cut in hoping to give her a second to focus on what she wanted to say. I wondered what could have her in such a fuss. "Whatever it is, it can't be all that bad," I assured her. "Just spit it out!"_

_I heard her inhale deeply and spit it out she did, she spoke 100 miles a minute from the time she started talking. She told me about Jessica calling her and pouting about not being invited on our outing – acting as though we had hurt her feelings terribly._

"_Jess is very… exuberant." I smiled into the phone when she paused after saying that she had felt absolutely obligated to invite her to come - she __**was**__ our friend… I could imagine the guilt trip that Jess had laid on her, and I was pretty sure that I would have crumbled under the pressure as well…_

_I had just taken a breath and was getting ready to let her know that it was ok; there wasn't any real reason that we had left Jessica out… I certainly had no issue with her coming along…_

"_That's not all…" she interrupted my thoughts. She hesitated for one more breath and rushed in… "Lauren's coming! Jess said they technically already had plans to get together, they just hadn't figured out what they were going to do So 'of course' she said it made perfect sense that the four of us would go and make a "real girl's day" she quoted Jessica, "out of it."_

"_I don't even know why Lauren would __**want**__ to go!" she continued, "She's never really made much effort to hide the fact that she doesn't especially like you. No one cares… I think a lot of people don't especially like her either…But," she brought her rambling mind back into focus… "I feel like the whole day is ruined!" she pouted._

_I couldn't help but share her feelings. There was no animosity between Lauren and Angela. I knew that if not for me and whatever negativity I seemed to provoke in Lauren - Angela would not be declaring the day done before it started._

_I could manage Lauren for one afternoon; maybe we'd have a late lunch instead of an early dinner cut the day a little short. It wasn't as though Lauren hadn't been at the beach various times when we were all there. I could play nice… and I imagined Lauren probably would too._

_I sighed, "Look Ang, don't worry about it. It doesn't matter who comes or doesn't. Our plans remain intact; we are going to go into Port Angeles, catch the matinee, do a little shopping, have a bite to eat, and all in all have a great time." I hoped my voice came across a little more confident than I felt._

"_You're sure?" I could hear the excitement returning to her voice._

"_Of course!" trying to make it sound like it was silly of her to think anything different._

"_That's great Bella! I really thought you were going to back out. I know she's not your favorite person…"_

_We spoke for a little longer before hanging up. The revised plan was set; Jess would be driving, and would be picking us up around 9:30 the following morning._

_I didn't sleep well that night; the nightmares that plagued my nightly existence had long since ebbed until they were quite the rarity._

_I woke at 5:30 and quickly abandoned any thoughts of getting any more rest. I showered and dressed for the day in jeans and a loose-knit blue sweater that Emily had made and given to me for Christmas._

_Charlie was leaving as I walked down the stairs with a load of dirty clothes. He hugged me with one arm as he slid the other into his uniform jacket; he bid me a good day and left for work. I stood listening to the sound of the cruiser pulling away until I couldn't hear it any more, and went to start the laundry._

_By the time Jess' car pulled into my driveway at 9:25 I had finished all but one load of laundry as well as completely cleaned the house._

_Lauren was sitting in the front next to Jessica, and she made no effort to greet me when I half fell into the backseat beside Angela with a breathless, "Hey guys!"_

_Well, I decided, anything would be better than the open hostility that she usually emanated toward me - I could handle being politely ignored._

_We got to the theater with Jessica dominating most of the conversation – of course. We checked movie times and I mentioned the one that started 1st without really paying attention to what it was. I was just thinking earlier in equals earlier out which means an earlier end to the uncomfortable afternoon with Lauren._

_We bought our tickets and had just enough time to grab popcorn and drinks before the movie started. We had just settled into our seats when the lights went down. I thought I might even take a nap in the dark while they watched the movie. The title flashed across the screen, "Just Love Me!" and I immediately felt my heart miss a beat._

_What had I been thinking!? This was a romantic comedy – the idea of sitting here in the dark watching the people on the screen endure through all sorts of unimportant silliness toward their happily-ever-after…_

_My breath was coming in short gasps, I knew I had to pull myself together or I was going to hyperventilate! I closed my eyes tight and focused every ounce of my will power into the simple act of inhaling and exhaling. I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings or worry anyone, but I didn't think there was any way possible for me to sit and watch this movie!_

_Without realizing it I was embracing myself, the faint burning threatened to swell up with new life in my chest. I was rocking back and forth in my seat trying to calm myself. Once I had my breathing in check I managed to sit still and I decided to chance a glance around me to see if anyone was aware of my near breakdown in the middle of the theater._

_Neither Angela nor Jessica seemed to have noticed, but Lauren… she was staring at me, glaring really. Even in the theater you could see the cold look in he eyes, the smirk on her face… as if she was mocking me… She appeared to be laughing as she turned back to face the screen._

_I didn't trust myself at the moment to make it out of the dark theater without tripping over something or knocking into a fair share of the patrons. So I slid a little further down in my seat and propped my feet on the armrest of the empty seat in front of me. I laid my head back and closed my eyes willing sleep to come rescue me from this next 95 minutes._

_I did dose off and on. Although every time I woke it seemed to be during one of the more tender parts in the dialogue. Tears stung my eyes and the pain in my chest got stronger. I sobbed aloud once but when Angela looked her eyes were wet too and she assumed that I was as touched by the beauty of the moment on the screen as she was. I honestly don't remember one funny point in the whole movie!_

_I wanted to cheer when the credits started rolling and the house lights came back up. Jess dabbed at her eyes nonchalantly as she stood to leave. I stood and followed them, my arms still drawn tightly around my chest._

_The department store we were going to was just a block from the theater and the restaurant was just next door, so the plan had been to leave the car at the theater and walk._

_As we crossed the threshold back out into the parking lot I was momentarily struck blind by the sunlight. Someone too impatient to allow for me to clear the doorway brushed past me to get inside. My vision wavered, my eyes adjusted to the sun as the petite woman with the dark spiky hair danced around the corner and out of sight._

_I froze… Alice? I thought to myself. I glanced up at the sky, it was a clear blue color and the clouds were sparse. It was too bright for Alice to be out in the middle of the day wasn't it? I definitely hadn't noticed any sparkling and I felt it safe to say no one else had either… But at the same time, I thought, it __**had**__ to be her! There wasn't another human being out there that could be mistaken for Alice Cullen, simply because Alice Cullen herself wasn't human._

_I had an almost irresistible urge to go back inside and look for her. Instead I looked for Angela and Jess and moved to catch up with them glancing back over my shoulder at the theater doors._

_We went into the store and set about trying on clothes and shoes – but I couldn't keep my mind from going back to the petite woman at the theater. The girls caught me amidst my daydreams several times. Lauren found it humorous, Jessica seemed to be getting annoyed, and Angela seemed genuinely concerned. I apologized countless times and tried to blame it on a lack of sleep._

_I was offering this very excuse when they caught me staring at the theater door lost in thought as we went to put our purchases in the car and head to the restaurant. Lauren suddenly burst out laughing._

"_I can't take this anymore!" she raged. "Guys, I think you need to recognize a lost cause when you see one. This girl isn't heart broken, she's just plain ole broken. Sign her up for the short bus and get it over with already." She turned to me, her face twisted into a sneer. "You've been acting like a freaking head case all day. Guess we can't take you out in public," She spat cruelly. "I never got what all the fuss was about you showing up in the 1st place. OK so you were the new girl… You messed everything up with me and Tyler, even messed Jess and Mike up for awhile and then oohh laa laa," she ranted, "Even Mister Edward Cullen had to fall for your shy girl shit and…"_

_I don't know what she said after that… She kept going, I don't know for how long, but I do know that she kept on ranting and raving. That name…__**his**__ name… mixed with the vile, disgusting way she said it… It sliced right through me…_

_I couldn't breathe, at all. I felt the parking lot reach up and slap me, but I couldn't manage one breath. My chest had exploded… there was no doubt about it, irreparable damage to my lungs and now I was dying. I heard familiar voices in the background but I was slipping away from them and I was glad. I didn't want to hear Lauren's filthy mouth any more…_

_They called it a panic attack; my chest was not missing a huge chunk as I'd first thought. I rode another ambulance to the hospital where they checked me out and released me to Charlie with a prescription for anti-anxiety medication._

_That night my sleep was fretful. I woke up a dozen times screaming, barely able to breathe, and fearing that my heart was going to crush right through my chest. The fire in my chest was almost as bad as it ad been when __**he**__ left me in the woods. I cried myself back to sleep time and time again, only to wake up exhausted and screaming._

_I had just been ripped from one such nightmare, when I heard Charlie in the kitchen talking in a low murmur. I tried to quiet my heart so I could hear who he was speaking to, but I heard no reply._

_It seemed just a few minutes later when I heard Charlie again, more clearly this time. "Sorry for calling so early…"_

_This time there was a second voice, a deeper, familiar voice that replied, "Hey no problem Charlie, anything I can do to help ya know."_

_My door swung open and someone walked briskly to my bed; it was only a minute before I was wrapped up in Jacob's strong reassuring arms. I tried to speak, but couldn't find any words. I looked up into his dark comforting eyes and just burst into tears again._

_Jacob held me and rocked me, petted me, and whispered soothing words into my ear, promising to always love me in which ever way I would let him, and promising to protect me. He dried my tears away time and time again, until finally – there were no more tears to dry._

_The nightmare let go of me – at least for a while, I fell asleep next to Jacob after spending what seemed like hours just staring up at him. I didn't deserve him, I knew that; I had already brought him so much pain. I didn't understand why he kept coming back again and again, but I realized as I drifted off that I was so very grateful that he did._

Jake became the absolute center of my world at that point, I didn't see it coming and I had no chance to stop it. I had loved him for so long. I knew then that I loved him more than I should, and that I could never tell him. Jacob was so good and so full of love; he deserved someone that had a whole heart to give him.

Again I heard Lauren's hateful voice, "She's just plain broken…"

She had no idea how much truth she spoke.


	4. Chapter Four

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 4

The end of August marked our return to school, the familiar routine that it brought had a healing effect. Well, except for the fact that I just couldn't prevent myself, upon entering the cafeteria, from looking over at _their_ table. I never expected to see any of them, and I was never surprised; but my eyes always went straight there as if needing to verify _again_ that they were really gone. It seemed so very odd at first to see _their_ table – once such a lovely place to let your eyes rest – overrun by mere humans like every other table in the cafeteria. Somehow I had expected it to remain empty, as if in remembrance. A sort of shrine to the beautiful ones who had once touched our lives… well, my life…

I sat at our table with Angela, Ben, Mike, Jess, and some lower classmen that I didn't know. I _did_ notice that Lauren wasn't with us; I scanned the room curiously and found her sitting at a smaller table with a couple of girls I didn't recognize and… Tyler Crowley. I smirked at the irony…

Angela and I had 6th period Calculus and 7th period Gym together; we were walking toward the gymnasium when I heard the distinctly familiar sound of a motorcycle engine approaching through the parking lot. We both looked up at the noise as Jacob Black rode right up onto the sidewalk coasting to a stop just ahead of us. Angela turned a wide-eyed, imploring look my way as I broke out in a warm smile and without thinking, ran into his warm embrace. "Jake!"

"Missed you," he breathed huskily, planting a kiss on the top of my head. "Haven't seen you forever," he chided softly.

In reality it had been a week since I'd been out to La Push. It really did seem longer though.

I gave him another squeeze before I pulled myself out of his arms. I blushed fiercely when I remembered Angela, my eyes flashing guiltily to hers trying to read her reaction. She was smiling softly, almost knowingly; I caught her stealing another look at Jacob before she started moving toward the gymnasium again.

"I need… to… talk to... Coach Clapp before class starts." she offered weakly. She increased her pace and waved back over her shoulder, "See you in class Bella!"

"So where ya been?" he asked, reaching out and catching my hand in his, tracing patterns on the back of my hand with his thumb.

"Home… School…I'm sorry Jake, I wanted to come out." I offered in earnest. He'd left a couple messages with Charlie, and I'd really meant to call him back… I thought about it almost daily usually at work or as I was drifting off to sleep. "Was planning on coming out Saturday… I worked 5 shifts at Newton's last week, 4 this week and the homework…" I sighed and unthinkingly leaned against his broad chest.

"Well", he brought his free hand to my back and ran his finger up and down my spine. "I have a couple of errands to run for my dad, I was kinda hoping that maybe you'd have some free time this afternoon?'

I shivered, my heart skipped a beat and set off at an exaggerated pace. I stepped just out of reach his tingly touch, and he chuckled softly.

"I have some homework, but I'm not working at the store tonight," I said thoughtfully. "What did you have in mind?"

He shrugged, his expression almost pained, "I dunno, I just missed you... It really doesn't matter what we do, I just wanted to hang out with ya. You have homework, we could just hang out at your house. Maybe I can even help you…" he grinned at that last part.

I grinned and rolled my eyes at him, "But wouldn't you actually have to go to school yourself to be able to help me with **my** homework?"

"Hmm…" he smirked, his eyes seemed to liquefy into deep black pools as he pulled me tight against him. He leaned his face down, his lips grazing my ear – I gasped, his breath felt so very hot on my neck and cheek. "I'm pretty sure I could teach you a thing or two about a thing or two," his deep voice not much more than a whisper.

My heart was pounding so fiercely I just **knew** he could hear it. I felt my face flush, and my breath caught in my throat when I tried to speak. I closed my eyes and willed myself back under control. I looked up into his face, which was slowly, purposefully closing in on mine; his eyes holding mine, his tongue flicking out to moisten his warm full lips…His sweet breath on my face, my arms somehow encircled his neck, my fingers wrapped into his shaggy black hair…

The sound of the late bell almost knocked me off my feet. Not to mention the fact that jolted me back to reality just in time to avoid… I stepped away from Jacob and stared around stupidly for a moment. _What just happened? Or almost happened anyway?_

Jacob laughed at me, "You okay Bells?" I nodded dumbly and picked up my bag – the one I didn't remember dropping at Jacob's feet – and slung it over my shoulder. "I'll meet you at your place after school," he called. He took a deep breath shaking his head and chuckling to himself again before he rode off.

I still felt dazed. I couldn't seem to get my head around the scene with Jake… I started walking toward the gym and then broke into an awkward run, praying to stay vertical, as I realized I was way late!

Jake was parked in front of Charlie's when I got there. He met me at my truck and grabbed my bag from me catching my hand in his. We walked to the door in silence, and I let us in with the key under the eave.

Once inside he sat my bag on the couch, plopped down in Charlie's chair and grabbed the remote. I went straight into the kitchen to start dinner. Once the roast was in the oven and the vegetables were cleaned and chopped I returned to the living room to get started on my homework.

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye as I silently went about getting my books out of my bag and setting my stuff up on the coffee table. He almost looked too big for Charlie's chair; or maybe it was just the way he was half laying across it - one leg flung over the arm, the other stretched out in front of him. He got up and sat by me on the floor once I opened my Calculus book.

He leaned back against the couch and kept his attention on the television, unheedingly playing with a lock of my hair. He'd reach forward and brush the hair back from my face every time I sighed and bowed my head I frustration. It was almost instinctual on his part; he never actually seemed to be looking away from the television screen.

After what felt like forever I finished the last problem and closed my book with a deep sigh. Jacob scooted closer and looked away from the television long enough to give me that warm, goofy grin. I rolled my eyes at him and pulled myself up from the floor to check on dinner. I misjudged my clearance around the corner of the coffee table and caught my foot on the pedestal leg. I cried out, more out of surprise than pain, and landed quite ungracefully - almost knocking Charlie's chair over in my tumble.

"Bella!" Jacob was up and at me immediately, pulling me to my feet. "You okay?" he asked. Embarrassment flooded my cheeks as I nodded sheepishly. His concerned expression relaxed as he shook his head slowly and chuckled. "What am I gonna do with you Bells?" He asked affectionately.

I thought about how many times I'd heard him laughing at me recently; and glared at him before I stomped off toward the kitchen almost tripping again before getting out of the room. He just laughed louder.

I washed my hands and took the roast out of the oven. I added the rest of the veggies and stuck it back in setting the timer above the stove. I trudged upstairs and checked my email; there was a short one from Renee. I responded to it before shutting my computer back down and heading back downstairs. I washed up the few dishes that I had used in prepping dinner and set three places at the kitchen table.

I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and was headed back to the living room to see what Jacob was up to when he stepped around the door and scared me half to death! I practically choked on the water I was drinking, spraying him with it instead. That stopped his laughing at me. His shocked expression was absolutely priceless. But he recovered quickly and grabbed the water bottle from me. He covered most of the opening with his thumb and shook almost half the remaining water all over me.

"Jacob!" I screamed. "Stop it. Stop! Grrrrrr… Jacob Black!" I was slipping and sliding on the wet linoleum floor, trying to knock the water bottle out of his hand while trying futilely to shield myself. He finally relented when my foot slipped out from under me; he caught me, but lost his own balance and fell flat of his butt in the puddle of water. He pulled me down onto his lap, both of us laughing hysterically.

I tried to crawl away, but he grabbed my ankle and pulled me back onto his lap. He kept me pinned to him with one arm while tickling me with the other. I fought and kicked in vain and laughed so hard I had tears running down my cheeks; he was merciless! Finally after much gasping for air and begging for mercy he gave in – but wouldn't let go.

He gently brushed my hair from my face. My heart started racing when I watched his black eyes liquefy as he bent his head down to mine. He gently kissed my hair, my forehead, and the tip of my nose…

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! We both jumped as the oven timer announced dinner's need for attention.

"Charlie!" I said looking at the water mess all over the kitchen. He let go of me, gracefully hopped to his feet and pulled me to mine. I set the roast on top of the stove and threw a pan of dinner rolls in the oven.

Jacob was wiping the water from the wall, "I got this," he waved me on, "you might wanna go put some dry clothes on." He raised his brow and raked his eyes from my damp hair to my soggy socks and back.

I nodded and hurried back up to my room. I really was soaked. I yanked on a dry t-shirt and pair of shorts and pulled my wet hair into a ponytail.

I heard Charlie's cruiser pull into the driveway as I stepped off the bottom step; Jacob was just putting the mop back up. I washed my hands and took the dinner rolls out of the oven. I had just set them on the table when Charlie came through the front door.

"Bella?" He called.

I stepped into the living room, "Hey dad," I smiled, "You don't mind if Jake has dinner with us do you?"

"'Course not!" he said hanging his coat and gun belt up after stepping out of his boots. "Heya Jake!"

"Hey Chief!" Jake called out from the kitchen.

We ate dinner and as I moved to do the dishes Jacob offered to rinse and dry for me as Charlie retired to his television. We finished the dishes quickly; I had just wiped the table down and stepped to the sink to rinse out the dishrag when I felt him step up behind me.

I had just acknowledged his body heat when a pair of strong arms spun me around and engulfed me. He crushed me against him and brought his lips down to mine in one blindingly fast move.

His hand pressed into the small of my back, holding me even tighter against his hard body. I went onto the tips of my toes and wrapped my arms around his neck, my fingers in his hair, and moved my lips against his hungrily – breathing in the scent of him – an earthy, woodsy, musky mix. I felt his tongue against my lips and I parted them and met his tongue with my own. A soft whimper left my throat; he groaned in response.

With seemingly no effort he lifted me and sat me on the counter beside the sink. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pressed myself to him squeezing my legs as tightly around him as I could. I completely forgot where I was; there was no one else in the world but this big beautiful man and me… just me and 'My Jacob.' His hands cupped my face and he gently but firmly pulled his face away from mine.

"Charlie…" he whispered. We were both gasping, and when I buried my face in his chest I realized his heart was racing every bit as fast as mine was. He ran his hands along my legs and still struggling to control his own breathing he pried my legs loose and stepped back. I slid down from the counter trying to sort through what we had just done, trying to figure out just how I felt about kissing Jake.

I looked up at him, and thought something seemed… wrong.

"Jake?" concern evident in my voice.

He wouldn't meet my eye – all of a sudden he looked nervous.

"Everything ok in there?" Charlie called from the living room.

"I gotta go Bells," Jacob whispered, "I'll call you." He spun around and strode out of the kitchen. I heard him say goodbye to Charlie and then I heard the front door close behind him.

I stood there gawking after him. ""What did I do?" I whispered.


	5. Chapter Five

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 5

Thursday and Friday I had to work; and he didn't call.

Thursday night as I waited for sleep to take me, I replayed our… encounter - over and over again in my mind.

_He_ had been the one to kiss _me_…

I desperately needed to see him, to speak to him.

Had he decided that he'd had enough of my hot and cold treatment of him? I couldn't blame him if he had, but I deserved to know!

How many times had I rejected him? Told him I couldn't offer him anything more than friendship, only to respond like I had in the kitchen. I couldn't deny the effect he had on me, but he deserved so much more than I could ever give him… He _deserved_ someone who would hand her entire heart over to him – someone that would love him completely and unconditionally; not bungling, broken, Bella…

That night, my dreams centered on Jacob. Jacob looking at me with those sometimes so sad eyes, I could see the tears swelling up in them. I wanted nothing more than to wipe those tears away, but he cringed away from my touch. His face twisted in anger, his sad eyes became accusing. Jacob running… away from me... I called out to him, but he wouldn't hear me. The worst…the image I would see flash behind my lids so many times it would seem burnt into the backs of them… Edward, in the meadow, hunched over a pile of russet colored fur; he looked up snarling – his features were animalistic not human, and his eyes were crimson. He returned his attention to the pile of fur, but it was no longer there; in its place laid Jacob, lifeless, bleeding and broken.

Friday as I was leaving Newton's, I decided to make an impromptu trip into Port Angeles. Charlie was on a weekend fishing expedition with Billy and I wasn't exactly desperate for the quiet confines of the empty house. The miles passed quickly, and my thoughts were never long off Jacob. I would go out to La Push tomorrow morning, like I had been planning all along. I would confront Jacob and make him tell me what was going on. We'd work it all out – we had to… I couldn't lose Jacob, I didn't know what I'd do without him in my life, and the past couple of days had only served to confirm how very important he was to me.

By the time I parked my truck in a space near the theater, I was feeling better than I had since Wednesday.

Lacking an actual destination, I fell in with the flow of pedestrians, occasionally stopping to peek through a storefront. I walked until the sidewalk came to an end and then I crossed the street and headed back the way I'd come. A used bookstore caught my eye, but it was already closed; I made a mental note to come back and check the place out when I had a chance.

I found myself stepping into the town's only department store. Once inside I made my way to the juniors intimates department deciding on a whim to treat myself to some new of PJ's. I narrowed it down to three pair and unable to choose between them I splurged and bought all 3. I found myself in the juniors dress department on my way out of the store and the loveliest royal blue sundress caught my eye. I touched the soft flowing fabric of the dress and was overcome with thoughts of Edward – I could have sworn the dress was rich with _his_ scent. I really didn't decide to buy it; but I stepped up to the nearest cashier station and paid for it without even trying it on.

Outside, everything was emptying quickly; the shops were all either closed or closing for the night. Sparse groups of people were heading for their cars. I tossed my packages into the passenger seat and pulled myself up into my truck. A glance at my watch told me it was almost 11:00 and I still had to drive back to Forks.

My stomach grumbled loudly, complaining about its lack of food since breakfast. I stopped at the drive-thru at McDonald's for some fries and a milkshake; not the most nutritious meal I'd ever had, but it helped to fill the void in my belly.

I got home a little after midnight. I hung my new clothes in the closet and made sure the house was locked up tight before heading to the bathroom for a shower. I brushed my teeth and stepped back into my room to slip into my new pajamas. I chose one of the cotton sets; a pair of orange and bright pink striped pants with an orange tank top. I dressed quickly and climbed beneath the sheets.

Exhausted as I was, Wednesday's scene with Jacob plagued my brain just like it had more often than not since he rushed out of here; and refused to let me sleep. My heart lurched and sped up as I remembered the details…

I don't know what got me started, but I found myself drawn to the similarities and differences between Jacob and Edward…

With Edward there was a need for _constant vigilance_ if only out of self-preservation… I could never just _let go_ with Edward; one of us always had to be alert for signs of him giving in to his thirst – while I trusted him completely, there was no denying what he was...

On the other hand, with Jake every ounce of my self-control seemed to look forward to being flung out the proverbial window. I couldn't help but lose myself when I was with Jacob.

They were both so very beautiful, and neither seemed to have a problem dazzling me.

Edward was layer upon layer of designer clothing, keeping as much of his alabaster flesh hidden from view as possible.

Jacob was barefoot almost all of the time, shirtless at least 80% of the time, and his clothing preference was comfy cut off sweats.

Jake was natural, comfortable, raw…

Edward was perfection, refined, regal…

I remembered how exciting it was to feel Jake's heart beating against his chest as he'd pulled me tight to him. The warmth of his skin opposed to Edward's icy touch… _Edward's heart would never pound against his chest, reassuring me that he was feeling just as strongly as I did._ Edward would have pulled away and gone off to stand some distance away from me, warring with the part of him that wanted so desperately to kill me. No part of Jacob wanted to do me harm, that had to be worth a couple bonus points or something…

I sighed and turned onto my side, shame burnt my cheeks. I was making a comparison that I had _no right_ making. There was no competition so to speak, there had never been. When Edward wanted me there had been no hope for Jacob... Yet Edward had conceded – he was no longer interested… And Jacob was 100% willing to be the consolation prize.

I fell asleep thinking about the two of them; and my dreams seemed to pick up where my conscious mind stopped. I saw Edward's handsome face, smiling at me – so full of love. Jacob's face took its place his dark eyes ablaze with passion… Suddenly I was in the forest again, my heart pounding with the unspoken knowledge that I had to save Jake… I ran between the trees calling out to him over and over again.

A noise to my right brought me to an abrupt stop. I stepped in the direction of the sound and froze, noticing how very quiet everything had become.

A strangely familiar sound cut through the silence and abruptly brought Jacob back to the forefront of my thoughts. I walked forward slowly, recognizing the entrance to the all too familiar meadow. My breath caught as I realized that just beyond those trees the forest would open up to _his_ 'special place'. I also knew that I would find Jacob there. I quickened my pace squinting into the sunlight that filled the glorious clearing. I dropped to me knees as soon as my eyes found them… The blood… The russet fur… Edward, sparkling in the sun knelt the slaughtered wolf… Edward turning to look at me with crimson eyes… Jacob's lifeless body, a crumpled heap at Edward's feet…

I jolted from sleep just in time to stifle the scream that haunted my lips. I was soaked with sweat in spite of the lightweight cotton. My heart hammering in my chest, my eyes still wet with tears, I shook my head trying to clear the image of Jacob's broken body from it… The details of the dream were lost to me, that horrific image all I could remember. I got out of bed, almost falling in the process; my foot was tangled up in the sheet.

The clock showed 5:26 I grabbed my things and headed for the bathroom to shower. I was definitely going to La Push today. I had originally planned on making an afternoon trip, but as I stood at the sink combing out my freshly washed hair, I decided that I'd head out shortly after breakfast instead.

I brushed my teeth and headed back to my room to get dressed; during which time my resolve got stronger and stronger. I was going to see Jacob. We were going to work through whatever had upset him on Wednesday. He was my best friend in the entire world, and I wasn't going to let him go so easily… I knew that he was meant to be a part of my life forever.

I pulled on a pair of jeans and a tank top, grabbing my hoodie in case the breeze off the water was too cool. I drank a glass of orange juice and nibbled on a Pop-Tart as I threw my sweat-soaked linens into the washing machine. I straightened up the rest of the house while waiting for the sheets to wash. When the buzzer sounded I threw the stuff into the dryer and grabbed my keys on the way out the door.


	6. Chapter Six

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 6

The ride to La Push was peaceful; I didn't encounter another car on the road the entire way out. It was only 7:30 when I parked in front of the Black's small house. My eyes went to Jake's homemade garage and I couldn't help but smile as I remembered the times we'd shared there. Much simpler times…

I fully expected Jacob to still be sleeping. I let myself in the front door, they never locked it, and walked quietly down the hall to his room. Pushing his door open I stuck my head in and sure enough there he was, sprawled out across his seemingly tiny bed, hanging off it on 3 sides. I stepped in and pushed the door closed behind me as gently and quietly as possible. As much as I wanted to talk to him, I just couldn't bring myself to disturb the peaceful, beautiful, sleeping man-child in front of me.

I knelt beside his bed and had to resist the urge to take his peaceful, sleeping face into my hands. I rested my elbows on the edge of the bed, and held my chin in my hands as I watched him sleep. He stirred and his arm grazed mine as he moved. His eyes opened halfway, he gazed at me dreamily and smiled, before he turned over and started snoring gently.

At 9:15 my patience ran out. I left Jacob's room and made my way down the hall, through the living room and into the small kitchen. I took a quick inventory of his refrigerator and cabinets and set about making breakfast. Hoping that the offering of food would help to alleviate the guilt I felt about waking him. I piled the plates on a tray that I found in the pantry and headed back to his room.

He was lying on his back now, still snoring softly. I set the tray on the floor beside his bed and sat down beside him and gently shook his shoulder.

"Jacob… Jake wake up" I urged.

He muttered something indecipherable and rolled over.

I crawled across him so that I was still facing him and lay down beside him speaking louder and shaking him a little more firmly.

"Jacob… Come on wake up. I made breakfast."

Magic words? Perhaps…

His eyelids fluttered and he mumbled again, this time I noticed him sniffing the air. He brought his enormous hands up to rub his eyes open and then jumped at the sight of me. "Bella!? What…?" He sat up looking around confused.

I climbed back across the bed and grabbed the tray from the floor. "Breakfast!" I declared, sitting back down on the edge of his bed.

His face broke into a warm grin as he took the tray from me. For the next several minutes he sat eating silently, only the occasional satisfied grunt letting me know how much he was enjoying the food. After practically inhaling the eggs, bacon, and toast he looked at me with a lazy grin.

"Wow… Good morning." His eyes sparkling, "and thanks for breakfast!"

I couldn't help but smile back at him. "You're welcome."

He yawned and stretched and I couldn't help but admire the way the muscles in his stomach rippled as he pulled his arms above his head mid-stretch; or the way the muscles in his arms became so taunt and defined…

I silently cursed myself, and blinked twice trying to focus. _What was the matter with me? _I reminded myself about his behavior on Wednesday, and my primary purpose for being here so early.

"Jake…" I started uncertainly.

He shifted uncomfortably, seeing where I was going. "So how've ya been Bells?" he asked. _Was he trying to put off the inevitable? He couldn't possibly think he owed me anything less than an explanation…_

"I've been ok…" I started cautiously, "been kind of worried about you…" I hinted.

His gaze met mine; and I could see his fear, his confusion. "Yeah…" he looked away nervously, "I prolly should've called…"

My heart skipped a beat. _Did he mean he should have called and asked me not to come? Or that he should have called to explain? _He wouldn't meet my eye now; and I didn't see that as a good sign…

"Look, Jake…" I started again, come what may I had to 'say my piece'. "I don't know what happened Wednesday, but it's ok…" Once I started that was it, I gushed uncontrollably, tears stinging my eyes. "You are without a doubt, one of my favorite people in the whole world, and I don't want you to feel awkward, or guilty, or embarrassed or any other kind of bad because you slipped up and kissed me. I'm ok, you're ok, but… Jake I'll just die unless you tell me that **we're** ok."

I knew I sounded pathetic. I didn't care.

I reached up to wipe the tears from my eyes and saw him staring at me. Confusion still dominating his eyes, he looked as though I had said something unexpected.

He shook his head, an uncertain half-grin playing at his lips. "Bells…" he started, scooting closer to me. "What…" his brow furrowed, "Why did…" he sighed in frustration, "OK, first… I'm really sorry I left like that; I thought, …" he frowned and looked up at me imploringly. "I thought you'd be mad at me."

Shocked, I asked, "You thought I'd be _mad_?"

He nodded and looked up at me, his guilt evident in his eyes, but there was a spark of something else there now, and his lips still toyed with a grin. "I know you just wanna be my friend," he sighed, "but I push that every chance I get. I'm trying to change your mind, and I know I shouldn't. I should respect the boundaries that you've set and enjoy what you're willing to give me. I thought… I thought I'd finally pushed it too far. As soon as I realized what I'd done… I freaked… I expected you to slap me… or scream at me… So I ran…"

"Oh." I replied simply. "I thought…" I had thought of just about every reason for him running… he was angry at me for my hot/cold reactions… he was disappointed in my response… he hadn't meant to do it in the first place… But fear of me rejecting him again had never crossed my mind.

Jacob reached out and took my chin in his large, warm hand and tipped my face up to his. "You thought what?" He asked, his eyes searching mine.

I tried to turn away, but his grip was firm, so I lowered my gaze to avoid his. My cheeks flushed. "I thought you were mad at me."

He broke into a smile… _my smile_, "You weren't upset?" He asked incredulously.

My cheeks flushed hotter, and my heart skipped out of rhythm as I shook my head.

"Why would _I_ be mad at _you_?" he asked.

I felt almost light headed from the amount of blood that kept lighting my cheeks on fire. I looked in his eyes, smoky black pools that shone deep into his very soul, "I thought maybe you were mad because I didn't stop you, or that maybe I didn't respond right… you know…" I stammered self-consciously, "Maybe it just wasn't all you expected it to be…"

His eyebrows shot up and his eyes become enormous. His face and eyes registering shock, before settling on being humored.

"Wow…" he started, "I wouldn't have thought that I'd have to say this…" he looked away for a minute, gathering his thoughts. "Bella, I've wanted to kiss you like that for _so_ long…" His eyes burning brightly and meeting mine again. "I've dreamed of it more times than I could count." His voice softening into a deep, sultry half-whisper, "And when I finally worked up the courage to do it… Wow… It was _so much better_ than I ever dared to dream, and when you actually kissed me back… I mean… Wow!" he said again.

My heart was pounding in my chest, and I could hear his breathing become unsteady as he remembered our kiss. "But you left?"

"I figured as soon as you actually realized what had happened you were gonna be mad at me," he repeated. "How many times have I tried to kiss you before Bells?" he added softly, "and every time you either stop me beforehand or get mad at me… I figured, based on the way you'd reacted to other my other attempts, a kiss like that would've invoked a lot of, um anger?" He smirked a little as he spoke the last couple of words.

"So… you weren't upset at me?" I asked, relief filling my voice.

""Absolutely not!" he declared. "And you weren't piss- err upset at me?" he asked, almost wistfully. His eyes meeting mine again, the unrecognizable spark shone even brighter in his eyes now as he waited for my answer.

"No…" I said softly, "I wasn't upset with you Jacob… at least…" I added, my fears quelled, my anger threatened to surface, "not before you ran out. And then when you never called…"

"I'm sorry Bells," he said again, the sincerity in his voice was evident. "I guess… I was a coward, Afterwards… I was afraid I'd hurt or upset you and I didn't know how to deal with that."

I touched his cheek and smiled up at him. "At least we've got it all worked out now." I said happily.

"Do we?" he asked," His eyes suddenly alight with mischief, his brow arched, and an absolutely impish grin on his handsome face.

I looked at him quizzically as he started to lean in closer. I noticed that he was watching my reaction very carefully as the distance between our faces steadily diminished. A million thoughts seemed to pass through my head in the time it took for him to bring his lips down to mine. I didn't recognize a lot of them at all, but when his face was centimeters from my own he paused. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down the rest of the way, my lips meeting his hungrily. I arched toward him and he pulled me close, my body melding into his. His hand ran down my arm, and across my stomach; lighting my flesh on fire along it's path. He ran his lips along my jaw, trailing kisses down my neck and along my collarbone. A moan escaped my lips and he pulled me closer; I felt his excitement hard against my thigh.

I felt dizzy, like his scent was a drug and I was about to overdose. His lips found mine again and his kisses became harder, more demanding. He pressed me against him so tightly that I thought I might become a part of him, my flesh infused with his…

We spent the entire afternoon in Jacob's room, more specifically in Jacob's bed. We kissed and touched and talked and kissed some more. Eventually, some time close to sunset, Jacob declared that he was hungry. I was actually sad to leave the safe haven we had found, when he pulled me to my feet and towed me down the hall.

He gently pushed me onto the couch in the living room saying, "I gotta find something to eat; I'll be right back."

I grabbed the remote and flicked on the television as he went about banging through the kitchen. I stopped on _Emeril Live_ and set the remote down just as he came back into the room with a plate full of sandwiches and '_my smile'_ lighting up his face.

I ate a sandwich while he ate six or seven. His appetite never ceased to amaze me. _Emeril_ went off and Jake flipped through the channels for a couple of minutes, not finding anything worth watching. He flicked the set off and tossed the remote across the room. He set the empty plate down on the floor in front of the couch and turned to me with an evil grin on his face.

"What?" I asked nervously.

He slinked toward me, not saying a word; that evil grin was glued to his face and, his eyes were black fiery pools. He bent his head down and lightly kissed my exposed belly, goose bumps immediately broke out across my skin. He continued closer, I could feel his warm breath on my chest as he slid upward. His lips grazed along my neck, my ear, and my cheek; when he finally found my lips we kissed like we'd been waiting to do it for a hundred years.

I felt his arm slip beneath me and he gently lifted me up and carried me back down the narrow hallway to his room. He deposited me gently onto his bed, our lips never parting. We carried on like this long into the night, it was almost midnight before I realized it and knew I needed to head for home.

Jake wanted me to stay, "You know Charlie and Billy won't be back until late tomorrow afternoon," he pleaded between kisses on my neck.

Every ounce of my being wanted to stay, but I knew I needed to go home.

He finally gave in after making me promise that I'd come back out the next morning. He walked me to my truck and tried one last time to talk me into staying with his goodbye kiss. _Jacob is so very persuasive…_ but my resolve held firm and I headed back toward Forks in a fog of happiness, thinking of nothing but spending the next day with Jacob.


	7. Chapter Seven

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 7

Sunday morning I did something very out of character for me; I slept until almost 9:00. I stretched lazily as sleep slowly relinquished its hold on me and rubbed my eyes open. A creak from the corner startled me and I jumped as Jacob said "Good morning sleepy head."

"Jake!" I gasped, "What are… How did you get in here?"

For a moment, he looked as though he was afraid that I was going to be angry. "I uh… I let myself in." He looked away with that 'hand caught in the cookie jar' look on his face. "I woke up and I thought about you… I couldn't go back to sleep." He shrugged his big bulky shoulders. "Kinda thought why wait for you to come see me, when I was awake and could come see you."

I smiled, and saw the relief wash over his face. He moved to sit down on the edge of the bed, stroking my face and brushing my hair back. I scooted back to make room for him and he lay down beside me wrapping me in his arms.

I shuddered with sudden thoughts of morning breath and I squirmed free of his embrace. I got up and ran for the bathroom with a rushed "be right back."

I combed my hair, washed my face and brushed my teeth before I hurriedly climbed back into bed; he was lying on his side thoughtfully tracing the patterns on my quilt. I laid down and snuggled into him. After a moment I quietly asked, "So… how long have you been here?"

He chuckled, "I woke up at like 6:00, I think it was about 7ish when I parked out front. I prolly spent about half an hour workin' through the moral, criminal, and social wrongs involved in jacking the key under the eave." He grinned guiltily. "So I guess me being in here says a lot about my character huh?" he chuckled. "Anyway… I guess I've been here about an hour and a half. I just couldn't bring myself to wake you up.' He smiled impishly, "did you know you talk in your sleep?"

I felt my cheeks burn; but before I could say anything he continued on. "I thought maybe we could do somethin' today," as he pulled me closer stroking my hair.

_Something about his body heat… I could never seem to get close enough to him, even when there was no space at all between us I tried to nestle closer_. He groaned softly behind me as I squirmed against him. "What were you thinking we'd do?" I asked.

His lips grazed my neck, "Please stop that," his voice husky in my ear, his hand firmly on my hip preventing me from squirming around, "or we won't be going anywhere." He shifted his weight, pressing his body tighter against mine. I could feel the firmness in his pants pressing against me. I gasped and my heart started racing, I laid there stiff and still.

Again he chuckled softly, but he relaxed his grip, his hand returning to stroke my hair. "I thought we could go catch a movie in Port Angeles, maybe have lunch while we're there? And there's a bonfire tonight on the rez..."

His hand slid down my arm and back up, electricity shooting through me when his fingers grazed the bare skin at my waist. "Sounds nice," I said, surprised at how thick my voice sounded.

He rained kisses up my neck and across my cheek; he kissed my forehead and my hair and pushed himself into a sitting position with a sigh. "How long will it take you to get ready?" he asked, absent-mindedly running his hand up and down my bare leg.

I noticed for the first time that Jacob was a little over-dressed, well for Jacob at least. Not only was he wearing a shirt, he had on a clean, pressed, black button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the top 3 buttons left open exposing just a hint of his muscular chest beneath. He was also wearing a pair of black jeans; his shiny black hair was pulled neatly back in a ponytail at the nape of his neck. I didn't think I'd ever seen him look quite so handsome. I sat up, taking in his overall appearance, and I suddenly wanted to run my hands across his chest; I chewed my bottom lip nervously and thought for a moment… _Hmmm…_

"How much time can I have?" I asked curiously.

Jacob grinned at me, "As much as you want I guess." He laughed.

I hopped up and walked to the bedroom door, "Out!" I pointed, trying unsuccessfully to hide my grin.

He chuckled and headed downstairs, pausing in the doorway long enough to engulf me in a hug and plant a kiss on the top of my head.

I grabbed my stuff, and headed into the bathroom to shower. As I stepped in I heard Jake flick the television on; I imagined him casually lying across Charlie's chair as was his way, and I smiled to myself.

I did something else totally uncharacteristic of me that morning. When I stepped out of the shower after drying off I wrapped my hair in a towel, reached over and turned on the curling iron. Alice had brought it over and left it so she would have use of it when she wanted to play Bella Barbie away from her house.

I had never attempted to use it. I wrapped a towel around myself and ran back to my room. I slipped into my underclothes and slid my robe on. I then set about digging through the piles on the floor of my closet. Finally, near the very back, I found what I was looking for. Alice had spotted the silver and blue sandals during one of our shopping excursions into Seattle and she had insisted we both get a pair. Mine had been in the closet ever since. I tossed them onto my bed and ran back to the bathroom to blow-dry my hair.

Let it be known, that my accident-prone self has absolutely no business trying to use something as potentially dangerous as a curling iron. _What was I thinking?_ As it stands I feel fortunate at times that I'm able to use the blow dryer without being electrocuted. I'd watched Alice do it loads of times, there didn't _appear_ to be anything difficult about it. Just clip the end of your hair under the bar and roll it up to your head, hold it there several seconds and then unclip it. Easy enough…. Right? Maybe for most people…

I burnt my ears 3 or 4 times. I lost count of how many times I burnt my fingers – definite blister coming on that thumb. I hate to think how many times I laid the stupid iron down against my scalp. But I endured; although I don't even know why I felt so compelled to do so. Still following Alice's example I sprayed some aerosol spray on my hair and went back to my room to put my dress on while giving the curls time to cool completely.

I went to my closet and withdrew the blue sundress that had caught my eye the last time I was in Port Angeles. I felt butterflies flutter in my stomach as I slipped my robe off and stepped into the dress. It had a halter style top that fastened behind my neck and cinched in tight under the bosom in a high waist, from there it flowed out beautifully in soft layers to just above my knees. I ran back to the bathroom to comb the curls in my hair out into waves, and finished it all off with the simple silver wristwatch Renee' had given me last Christmas and a pair of silver hoop earrings.

I ran back to my bedroom to grab a sweater and I paused in front of my full-length mirror. _Alice would be proud_, I thought to myself. I hadn't bothered with the cosmetics that she always insisted on and even as slow as I was at curling my hair I didn't spend near as much time on it as she would've, I'd pulled all this off in just less than an hour. And I had to admit; I didn't look bad at all.

Sweater in hand I walked out of my room and headed down the stairs. I walked slowly trying to make a dignified entrance as opposed to my more typical stumble through the doorway. I took a deep breath, feeling unreasonably nervous and maybe a little silly; and I stepped into the living room.

Jacob must've heard me on the stairs, because when I turned the corner he was staring at the doorway expectantly. I was definitely not disappointed by his reaction.

For several seconds he just sat there, mouth agape, drinking me in. I watched his eyes register shock, desire, appreciation, and awe in quick succession. He blinked a couple of times and rose to his feet, his mouth twitched and his lips seemed to be trying to form words. After another minute he said, "Wow…" and his face broke into a boyish grin. He walked toward me slowly, his dark eyes glowing, "Bells… You look… absolutely beautiful."

I blushed fiercely, and smiled up at him. "Thank you Jacob," I replied, trying to make my voice husky like his, "and might I add you look quite nice yourself."

His grin got bigger and he caught my hand in his. At the front door I noticed him sniffing at the air uneasily. I stepped out just in front of him and his face was in my hair I wasn't sure if he was breathing me in or trying to guess the dress designer by the scent of the fabric. When I turned to look at him he had a sad, distant look in his eyes.

I wanted to know what had so suddenly changed his expression, and I didn't have to wait long to find out. He tried to smile, and sound casual when he asked, "Where'd you get that dress Bella? I've never seen you in anything like that before."

"My dress?" I asked confounded. "I just bought it, Friday in Port Angeles. Do you not like it?" I asked suddenly nervous again.

"Oh, I like it!" he reassured me, his eyes lighting up briefly, "but… it… it kinda smells like bloodsucker," he grimaced. "It's faint, your strawberry shampoo almost hid it from me, but it's definitely there."

"Should I go change?" I offered.

"Absolutely not!" he admonished. "I've had to put up with much stronger vamp stink to be with you before, and I didn't get to see ya lookin' like this then." He laughed.

He took my sweater and gently pulled me down the driveway. His Rabbit was parked behind my truck; he walked me to the passenger side and opened the door for me with a gracious bow. "Your chariot awaits m'lady," he teased. He closed my door after I was settled in and ran around to the other side. He slid in behind the steering wheel and caught my gaze as he started the engine. He smiled at me softly and said, "Our first date," and he pulled out of the driveway and we were on our way.


	8. Chapter Eight

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 8

We chatted back and forth easily on the ride into Port Angeles. He held my hand the entire way, and I caught him looking over at me with one of his goofy grins more times that I could count. Jacob drives a lot faster than me; and that coupled with our constant stream of conversation made the trip seem downright short.

We pulled into a parking space right in front of the theater, both of our eyes scanning the reader board for our options. As soon as I saw the title I was sure which movie I'd have the most fun watching with Jacob. I looked at him smiling and just as I started to talk he did too and we both ended up saying "_Becoming Death 2_!" simultaneously, which caused us to burst out laughing.

Jacob hopped out of his car and came around to open my door; he wasn't usually so chivalrous. I assumed it was because he was treating this like it was our first date. He kissed my hand as he helped me out of his car, his dark eyes shining with happiness. He laced his elbow through mine and we headed into the theater. The marquee showed that we only had to wait 20 minutes for the show to start. We slowly made our way to the right theater and took seats in the rear corner furthest from the screen.

The lights were only half down, so it was still easy to see once my eyes had adjusted. We talked about the bonfire we'd be heading to later – I was looking forward to seeing Emily again, and we discussed our options for lunch. We laughed at the memory of the last time we'd been at a movie together – with poor Mike Newton…

I wasn't certain, but I couldn't help feeling like he was nervous. He glanced around frequently when he thought I wasn't paying attention, as if he was looking for someone. I thought his behavior odd, but decided to chalk it up to the 'first date jitters' that he had seemed to be experiencing earlier.

He seemed to relax when the lights went down. We leaned our heads against each other and settled in for a horror-flick, _Jacob-style_.

We laughed at the bits of bad acting and the unimaginative dialogues that plagued so many horror movies. The unrealistic attempts at gore would have us ready to fall out of our seats, but every once in a while… I'd be taken off guard by a zombie attack or a scream of terror and I'd jump in my seat or squeal in alarm. Jacob looked like he was going to cry from laughing so hard.

Halfway through the movie there was a group of late arrivals, four of them. They were all dressed in jeans and the three males in the group were all wearing dark hoodies with the hoods pulled up over their heads. One of the guys was enormous and out of the blue the name _Emmett _popped in my head. But that wasn't possible and I knew it, so I dismissed the idea. There appeared to be one female in the group and she was tiny in comparison to the others; she had a baseball cap on and a huge pair of sunglasses that she actually kept on in the dark room. They sat in the far corner opposite from us, just a couple of aisles closer to the screen. Maybe it was silly, but they made me a little nervous. They didn't seem to be the least bit interested in the movie; they were all huddled up talking and looking around to see if anyone was paying them any attention.

Jake dropped his arm around my shoulder giving me a squeeze. He glanced over toward the group dubiously; but quickly returned his attention back to the screen. I found myself wondering if he knew them; I noticed them sneaking glances at us frequently.

Stranger still, right before the end of the movie the four of them got up and walked passed the doors they'd come in through. They crossed the theater and walked out the doors right next to Jake and I; they kept their heads down but I _felt_ their eyes on us as they walked by.

I shuddered and Jake, thinking I was cold, rubbed his hand over my arm to warm me up. The credits were rolling down the screen and the lights slowly brightened. We sat quietly while everyone else filed out the doors. When the room was all but deserted he plucked my hand up in his own and gently pulled me to my feet and guided me out.

Once outside we walked silently for a block or two; I realized we were heading away from the part of Port Angeles that I was familiar with, toward the more touristy section.

Jacob broke the silence; sounding thoughtful as he asked, "Wonder what was up with those kids that came in halfway through the movie?" His eyes scanned the crowds as if he expected to see them again.

I shrugged. I had been incredibly curious about them while in the theater, but somehow now they seemed less intriguing, if not downright unimportant.

On the boardwalk the smell of the surf hung in the air, the afternoon was overcast, of course, but there didn't seem to be that chill in the air that was usually present on days such as this in early September. I took in the people around us; they were dressed considerably warmer than I was, some even wearing parkas or sweaters. I smiled to myself and looked up to meet Jacob's curious gaze – Jacob, my source of warmth, my best friend and the center of my universe. I slipped my hand free of his and wrapped my bare arm around his waist. I felt the smile on my face spreading wider and wider until I was sure I looked absolutely ridiculous – like a living caricature that the artists on the boardwalk would draw for the amusement of the tourists – huge goofy smile taking up 90% of my face.

"What are you thinking?" he asked softly.

My cheeks felt flush and my heart started racing. When my eyes met his the love I saw there was so strong I felt it pierce straight through me. Not pierce in the painful sense of the word… More like I would expect it to feel if you used on of those heart attack paddles on yourself… _like a jolt_.

In a release of breath that I hadn't even realized I'd been holding, I answered him before I could chicken out. "I was thinking… I was thinking about how lucky I am."

His eyes grew huge; and his brow arched, "You?"

He wrapped his big, strong arms around me and spun around, swinging me off my feet. He deposited me back on my feet gently and took my face in his hand turning it up to his. My breath caught when I looked into his deep, dark eyes, they were burning.

"You listen to me Isabella Swan," he chided – _he sounded quite serious_… "You are not the lucky one here. You have been everything I ever wanted since before I had a clue what that meant." His voice grew deeper, huskier as he spoke. _He __**was**__ serious_…"I am the luckiest guy in the world Bells, all because of you." He rubbed his cheek against mine, "I am almost one of the most selfish," he added with a sad smile. "I'm willing to let you stay here pretending I deserve better – I let you tell yourself that I'm settling with you. When in reality there's nothing I could ever do in a million lifetimes to deserve someone like you. But if you can't figure that out…" He smirked, "What kind of idiot would I have to be point it out to you?"

Tears rained down my cheeks; I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him with all of my might. "Jacob Black," I started, but he touched a finger to my lips and my words were lost… He turned his head down to mine and pulled me firmly but gently against him. His lips replaced his finger and the world around us dissolved…

It was the warmest, gentlest, sweetest kiss I could ever imagine – so very unlike the others we had shared. When we separated we were both breathless, we laughed at ourselves and started back toward the restaurant.

I _floated_ back to the restaurant. We were seated quickly and he ordered 2 cokes. The waitress set the cokes on the table and asked if we were ready to order. Jake glanced at me questioningly.

"I'll have the spinach ravioli." I told her, unable to drag my eyes away from Jacob.

Jacob ordered what sounded like enough to feed a horse and the waitress hurried off to turn in the order.

He reached across the table and covered my hands in his. Someone walked past our table and paused as though scanning the room lost, after just a moment they moved on. Jacob grimaced when the stranger walked up and seem to visibly breathe easier once he had walked away. I noticed this with something other than my conscience mind, as I was still unable to look away from Jacob. He was all I could see, all I could hear, and all I could feel.

Jacob smiled dreamily down at me, "Eat Bells," he gestured. My brow furrowed in confusion as I finally broke his hypnotic stare. Sure enough there was a plate of spinach ravioli in front of me, untouched. I shook my head gently trying to regain my grasp on reality. I heard his chuckle and I just grinned sheepishly.

Jacob hadn't had any problems getting his food to his mouth according to the empty plates and bowls in front of him. I wondered how I could've not noticed him eating…

I picked up my fork and stabbed a ravioli, offering it to him. He chewed it thoughtfully, picked up his own fork and stabbed one, touching it to my lips. We went through the whole plate that way, him feeding me - me feeding him.

I sipped my coke as we waited for the check; he paid the waitress and dropped some bills on the table. He took my arm and pulled me to his side and out the door. I glanced at my watch and saw that it was almost 4:30; we were planning on meeting the others at Sam and Emily's at 7:00.

As soon as my feet hit the sidewalk I froze. Parked right across the street from the entrance to the restaurant was a shiny silver Volvo.

I swooned, vaguely aware of Jacob's arms encircling me as the darkness took over.


	9. Chapter Nine

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 9

Jacob's voice, like a light in the storm, brought me back from the darkness. "Bells!" his voice filled with concern.

I reached blindly toward the sound of his voice, and felt his hand take mine. I opened my eyes and blinked several times trying to clear my head. I was on the ground, right in front of the restaurant.

"You wanna try to stand?" Jacob asked softly.

I nodded silently and he helped me to my unsteady feet. I heard him ask if I was okay.

"Hey, Bella… Bell-la!" Concerned by my unresponsiveness he grabbed my shoulders and gave me a shake. I blinked again trying desperately to clear my head; and managed an "I'm fine," before wrapping my arms around him and burying my face into his chest.

He stroked my hair reassuringly, and asked, "What happened?"

"I'm not… sure…." I answered, honestly - confused. I was glad that there was only a couple of people nearby, so the whole ordeal hadn't been blown out of proportion with a huge scene.

He sat me down at one of the restaurant's sidewalk tables and kissed me on the forehead. "Stay put Bells, I'm gonna go get the car." With that he was jogging down the sidewalk toward the theater where he had parked.

As soon as he said the word car something clicked in my head.

My head jerked and I stared at the spot… the now empty spot… where I had seen the silver Volvo. I dropped my head into my hands feeling an oncoming headache. Surely I hadn't imagined the car… Had I?

Just then Jacob pulled up to the sidewalk and hopped out; without warning plucked me up out of the chair and carried me to his Rabbit depositing me gently in the passenger's seat. He buckled me in and pressed his warm lips to my forehead before closing my door. He got back behind the wheel and we started back to Forks.

I must have fallen asleep in the car; because it seemed like just a minute later when I heard Jacob softly asking if I could walk into the house or if I wanted him to carry me.

A glance in his direction showed the concern he felt. I smiled – trying to be reassuring, and got out of the car. He was swiftly at my side, his arm around my shoulders as we entered the house. I noticed that Charlie wasn't home yet; and was grateful for that.

Jacob guided me to the couch and sat me down; he grabbed my feet and swung them around so they were also on the couch. He knelt down beside me brushing the hair back from my face. "You're sure you're ok Bells?"

I pulled my feet up under me and leaned forward, planting a chaste kiss on his forehead. "I'm fine Jake…"

His forehead creased and his brow furrowed, he must've been afraid I was going to pass out again or something; he looked a little nervous. "So… what happened anyway?" he asked, "Last I heard people don't just pass out at random."

I chewed my bottom lip nervously, trying to decide how to answer. _Jacob was definitely a lot more car savvy than I was; Edward's silver Volvo didn't exactly 'blend in' around here, it would have surely caught his eye also had it really been there._ We didn't really talk about Edward or the Cullens; but he knew everything... I was pretty sure he would have noticed the car and probably reacted to it. _I had to have imagined it… No matter how real it had seemed… I __**must**__ have imagined it…_

I looked away feeling a little guilty, and I shrugged. "I don't know, I was walking and I got light-headed all of a sudden… the room spun… and…" I sighed, "but I'm fine now – I promise." I touched his rough warm cheek and met his gaze, I smiled and hoped it came across as reassuring.

He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, the corners of his mouth turning up into a smile, "Ok..." Another flash of uncertainty, "Ummm… if you wanna pass on the bonfire… I'll totally understand." He looked away.

"No!" I quickly assured him; "I said I'm fine." then added playfully, "Unless you're planning on meeting somebody _else_ there? And you're just trying to get out of taking me?"

He rolled his eyes and pulled himself to his feet before pulling me up and into him. "Nobody else exists." He whispered huskily, kissing my hair. He took my hand and pulled me clear of the coffee table. His dark eyes smoldered as they drank me in, though I thought I had to look a mess after the ordeal outside the restaurant. My skin tingled under the weight of his gaze; my face, my bare shoulders, my bosom… slowly… down… even my toes felt his stare… and then, just as slowly, back up.

My blood raced and my skin felt flush, I knew I was blushing like an idiot. My heart skipped a beat when his eyes met mine again. I felt the room wobble just a little, but somehow standing there with Jake, I knew I wasn't in danger of fainting again. I reminded myself that Charlie could be home any minute…

I needed to change for an evening in La Push. My dress wasn't overly dressy; but between sitting on the sand and my standard level clumsiness I thought the dress was doomed if I wore it to La Push.

"I need to go change." I told him, pulling my hand out of his.

He looked disappointed, "really? Why? You look…God you look great!"

I couldn't help but laugh at him. "I just thought a bonfire on First Beach was more of a blue jeans event, besides I'd freeze in this." I hurried up the stairs to change.

I stepped out of the dress and dug through my closet for a pair of blue jeans. As I stepped into my favorite pair I found my thoughts wandering again to the shiny silver Volvo that I could have sworn I'd seen in front of the restaurant. _Why would I imagine it?_ I hadn't even been thinking about any of them…_But then again… it wasn't there when I looked back. I hadn't heard a car pull off; Jacob had made no indication that he saw it and surely he would have seen it… and any of them actually being anywhere near here made absolutely no sense._

They had all moved on.

And finally… thanks to Jacob, so had I….

I remembered his words from earlier; and I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have him. I would never let Edward Cullen cause me to bring Jacob any more pain or experience any more doubt I vowed. Jacob deserved so much more than me, but I was all he wanted… I loved him so very much. If he really believed that I was enough… I would do my best.

I pulled a dark blue hoodie over my head and sat down on the edge of my bed to pull on a pair of socks and my sneakers.

When I got back downstairs Jacob was sitting in Charlie's chair flipping through the channels.

"You ready?" I asked him.

He clicked off the television and smiled up at me... _my smile_ lighting up his entire face…

We walked out the front door and he again opened the passenger's door for me. I glanced around before getting into the car; I had the strangest sensation that I was being watched. Jacob sensed my hesitation and asked, "Are you sure you wanna go?"

I smiled and when my eyes met his I couldn't stop myself from reaching up and grabbing his face and pulling it down to my own. I brought my lips to his and kissed him deeply, he responded in kind and it was a full minute before we pulled apart, gasping. An irrational reaction to his question on my part perhaps, but it seemed to get my point across…

Again he held my hand the entire way; and again I caught him stealing frequent glances at me. We rode this time in a comfortable silence. The miles passed by serenely, as I lay my head against his shoulder.

He drove straight to Sam and Emily's house and parked in front. It was only 6:30, but we were obviously not the first to arrive. I waved at Quill when he called a greeting out to us as we were getting out of the car. Jacob was at my side wrapping his arm around my shoulders immediately. We walked into the house and were assaulted by the delicious aroma of Emily's cooking. He kissed my cheek as I pulled away to head into the kitchen to greet Emily and he went to the living room to talk to Sam.

"Bella!" Emily smiled and hugged me warmly.

"Hey Emily," I replied returning her embrace. I looked around the kitchen; it was obvious that she had been busy most of the day. "Put me to work," I offered and she did.

Jacob and the rest of the pack disappeared for a little while, and I chatted happily with Emily and the other 'wolf-girls'. When we heard the male voices outside again we started carrying massive plates of food out to the backyard and setting them on the tables that had previously been set up.

Charlie and Billy showed up just as everyone was settling down to eat. "Hey dad," I smiled up at him.

"Bells!" he replied with a one armed hug; the other was busy balancing the plate he had filled on his way over to say hello. "How was your weekend?" He asked.

"Great!" I smiled, "hung out with Jake…" I noticed his smile deepen and his eyes flash quickly to Jacob, who was standing closer to the house talking to Sam, and back; I felt my cheeks flush. "How about yours? You get our freezer restocked?" hoping to change the subject, "I think we only have enough fish left for 4… maybe 5 years otherwise." I teased.

He laughed and patted my back, "Not too bad," he smiled. He then spotted Billy and Harry and took off to join them.

I spoke with Seth, Quil and Embry for a while; and just when I found myself scanning the sea of faces for Jacob - Quill smirked and a pair of strong arms snaked around my waist.

"There you are," he breathed gruffly into my ear. I could feel the warmth radiating from his body through our clothes and the 4 to 6 inches of space that separated us. My heart sped up as I realized this, and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. Jacob pulled me back against his strong chest, nuzzling my ear and my hair.

Embry cleared his throat and Quill chuckled as Seth looked away uncomfortably. Jacob sighed and straightened up offering me his hand. I took it and he pulled me to my feet. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kept it there protectively. We spoke to just about everyone that was there.

When we made our way to Charlie he was getting ready to head home. "You coming soon Bella?" he asked, observing the way Jacob kept his arm around me.

"We were actually going to have a bonfire out on the beach," I started, "unless you need me to come home."

"No, not at all," he assured me, "I'm gonna be passed out as soon as my head hits the pillow anyway." He looked from me to Jacob and then over at Billy. "I don't want you driving home if you get too tired," he told me. "There's no school tomorrow, I'm pretty sure Emily would put you up for the night if you wanted to wait and head home tomorrow."

"Of course she would dad," I smiled and hugged him goodnight. "Don't worry about me. You just drive safe and get a good night's sleep." I gave him a quick peck on the cheek and waved goodbye to him as we headed down toward the beach.

"Good night chief!" Jacob called, "Don't you worry, I'll take good care of her!" Charlie smiled and waved at Jacob as he headed toward his cruiser out front.

We sat on the beach, in front of the bonfire; me between his legs, leaning back against his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around me, his head leaning forward resting on my shoulder. Others joined us over time as I sat there staring into the flame, enjoying Jacob's presence, the cool, clean night air, and the sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks. I was surprised when Billy's voice, firm with authority yet soothing and gentle with an almost magical quality interrupted my reverie.

He told the same stories that Jacob had told me so long ago. Billy however, was a _much_ better storyteller than Jacob; listening to him tell the tales of his ancestors was like hearing the legends for the first time. His voice carried me off and let me _see_ the boats that their ancestors had been driven to, the animals revolting against their enemy, the spirit warriors running their patrols…

When he was finished I felt mystified, like I had just bore witness to something larger than life. The others started dispersing, couples wandering off to more secluded locations, others heading home for the night.

Jacob pulled me to my feet and we walked out toward the water's edge and down the beach. The moon was beautiful. He had his arm casually draped around my shoulder, but a breeze off the water caused me to shiver in spite of his warmth. "Let's head back," he said and started guiding me back the way we'd come.

When we were back at Emily's I pulled myself away from him long enough to help Emily clean up. There wasn't any food left – of course, I thought to myself, _she_ _is_ _feeding an entire pack hungry of wolves_. I started washing dishes while Emily was still bringing them in from outside. Sue Clearwater stayed to help out as well, and between the three of us we had everything cleaned up and put away in next to no time.

Sue and Harry Clearwater and their two children were the last to leave other than Jacob and I. We said goodnight to them as they headed home after the mess was cleaned up; and Jacob squeezed my shoulder indicating it was time for us to go as well. I hugged Emily and she thanked me for all of my help for the hundredth time as we climbed into Jacob's Rabbit.

He leaned over and kissed me before he started the car. "So… you ready to head back home?" he asked, trying to force nonchalance as he pulled out onto the road. I smiled in the darkness, feeling the heat flare up in my cheeks.

I forced a yawn, and tried to hide my smile. "No…" I said, trying to sound sleepy. "You heard the chief, I'm not supposed to drive home if I'm tired."

Jacob chuckled, "Yeah he _said _drive, he prolly didn't realize your truck is still back in Forks."

We were in front of Jacob's house; he had just opened his door shining a dim light around us. He started to slide out but I reached out and touched his arm; he turned back to look at me.

"That's probably not the only thing he doesn't realize." I whispered. His eyes grew huge before he grabbed me to him, crushing my lips with his own.

We both knew that if I was spending the night in La Push I was not going to be doing it at Emily's house.


	10. Chapter Ten

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 10

**** Edward's POV ****

I know I shouldn't be here… Alice and her visions!

This particular time I had to admit that I was quite glad that they _were_ at times unreliable. To think of Bella jumping off a cliff and plummeting to her death, it was intolerable! Alice had made a trip to Forks to investigate that one herself before I knew anything at all about it. Another frustrating thing about Alice's visions… they didn't seem to work where the dogs were involved. And since it seemed like Bella was spending a great deal of time with those… mongrels, I couldn't rely on Alice's peeks ahead to know that she was ok.

When I ran into Alice about a week after her trip to Forks I saw in her memories Bella's break down in the parking lot in Port Angeles – Alice had been watching from her car, a rental that wasn't recognizable. I was aghast! It certainly didn't _look_ like she was happy! The pain on her face when that girl from her school, Lauren, said my name… I saw the agony the mere mention of me put her through. I felt more like a monster then than I ever had in the century I'd been around.

I insisted on returning to Forks myself to check on her, and if she was anything less than happy I was going to fix that, whatever it took. The selfish creature inside of me actually hoped to find her suffering, so I could have an excuse to try and reenter her life.

Alice and Jasper tried to talk me out of it. Emmett seemed to miss her almost as much as I did; he didn't raise any objection. After a while Alice realized that I wasn't going to change my mind and so they all decided they should accompany me, to help keep me out of any potential trouble.

I was insulted at first, but after thinking about it and listening to their thoughts I realized it was out of nothing more than love for me, and for Bella. So I relented and agreed to their tagging along.

We drove by her home on Friday and saw that she wasn't there. Driving around aimlessly I found her in someone's thoughts. She was working at Newton's Sporting Goods. We parked just around the corner and waited for her to leave. When she came out the happiness that exploded throughout my chest was indescribable! Just looking at her again after all this time was enough to make up for the months of anguish that I had felt being away from her!

She got into her ancient truck and headed away from her house. I was puzzled, so I followed her. I stayed back far enough that she couldn't see me until she got to Port Angeles. She parked near the theater and I pulled on down just past where the sidewalk ended. When she got out of her truck she looked around as though she didn't really know where she was going. She walked along the sidewalk peering into windows and then crossed the street right in front of us.

I gasped to see her so close up. She didn't look to be suffering… Alice told Jasper that she'd be right back and jumped out of the car, slowly skipping into the department store a block away. I saw her vision. She was going to give us away. Bella couldn't know we were here!

I followed after Alice slowly enough not to attract attention to myself but had to duck around a doorway as I saw Bella walk into the very same department store Alice had entered. I inhaled deeply, welcoming the vicious burn that lit my throat on fire as her scent assaulted me for the first time in too many months. Memory failed at preserving just how very sweet she smelled.

I stepped inside after Bella mentally begging her to turn around and grateful that she didn't. I headed toward where I knew I'd find Alice. She was holding a blue dress, exactly like the one she had seen Bella purchasing in her vision. She handed it to me for a moment while taking the time to glance over several other garments. "Alice!" I urged.

She rolled her eyes at me and took the dress from my hands; she walked to a rack near the aisle and close to the cash register and hung the dress there. She smiled up at me and took my arm gently pulling me out the door.

We got back into the car and it was only a few moments later when Bella reappeared. She glanced at her wrist, I noticed she had a new watch, and got into her truck. She pulled through the drive-thru at the fast food restaurant in front of us and then pointed her truck back toward Forks.

I left my headlights off and followed her back home. We sat in the car, DeBussy wafting softly through the speakers, watching her quiet house. The light went out in her bedroom and still we sat there. I knew the others were getting restless, but I couldn't bring myself to leave.

I opened my door and spoke softly, "Go on back to the house, I'll meet you there before dawn."

Jasper started to object, but Alice stopped him and whispered, "It'll be alright," into his ear. I stepped out and Emmett slid into the driver's seat. I raised my hand in a goodbye and he pulled off, thinking about how much he hoped I'd just wake her up and beg her to take me back.

I walked to the middle of her yard, and leaned against the tree that stood there; wanting to be sure that she had time to be sound asleep. I stood there motionless for an hour before I approached her window. I let myself into her room like I had done countless times in the past.

I noticed the blue dress that Alice had picked up in the store hanging from her closet door, and then I noticed _her_. Her beauty was awe-inspiring. Gone were the sweat pants and baggy shirts that I had found so endearing in the beginning; she wore a bright orange tank top that left her midriff exposed above the pink and orange pajama pants. The sales tags on her desk suggested that this might have been part of her earlier purchase as well.

I stepped to the side of her bed and stared down on her angelic figure. My throat was still searing, but I had no problem ignoring it at all. I wanted to reach down and gather her up in my arms and beg her for forgiveness. I wanted to stroke her face, kiss her hair, and feel her soft, fragile body next to my own. Instead I went to the corner, sat down in the familiar rocking chair, and watched her sleep.

At first she seemed to sleep peacefully, but as the night wore on she became restless. She mumbled softly, and I remembered how she used to call out to me in her dreams. I leaned closer trying to understand what she was saying…

She grabbed a handful of sheet and spoke again… "Jacob…" I've been dead for a century, but hearing her call out in her dreams to someone _else..._ In that moment, I truly _felt_ dead on the inside. "Jacob," she whimpered again.

I was cold, no not just cold, icy cold and… I was angry, no not just angry… I was furious! "Jacob?" I spat quietly, rage pumping through my veins. Whoever he was surely he didn't deserve _My Bella_… He couldn't possibly see her for all that she was, couldn't hold her in high enough reverence!

My mind raced for some memory of a Jacob… Of course, her friend Jacob Black. The native boy who had unknowingly broken the treaty by telling Bella about us… I wrinkled my nose in disgust, wondering how I hadn't noticed the vile stench before. It was faint, but it was _everywhere_… _His scent!_ It was sickening! I felt the snarl in my throat and struggled to regain control.

I left at 3:00. Somehow it seemed wrong to watch and listen to her dream about someone else. Perhaps I was simply afraid of what else I might hear at that point…

I ran to the house, Alice was waiting on the steps. Her thoughts instantly expressed her concern for me. She greeted me with a hug, "So, she's ok. You've seen that. Can we go home now? Please?" The thoughts from inside the house mirrored hers.

"Look Alice," I started, "I'll remind you my darling, that I did not ask you to accompany me for this in the first place. You can of course go whenever you want to; I wouldn't _dream_ of stopping you." I smiled down at her and patted her hand before walking past her and into the house.

"You're staying," she whispered, it wasn't a question.

I walked up to my piano, and removed the coverlet. I sat down, and for the first time since I'd broken my beautiful Bella's heart, while ripping my own from my chest, I played... Bella's Lullaby… – over and over again,

I heard the others enter the room; I heard their reactions to my 'musical outburst'.

Emmett thought it meant I was going to try to win her back, He was smiling encouragingly, and hoping he might be invited to help should it come down to a fight.

Jasper was worried that I was going to cause both Bella and myself more pain – and possibly kill someone in the process. He was trying to figure out exactly what the music meant and he hoped that Alice would enable then to intercede if need be. His expression was solemn.

Alice was trying to look ahead without much success; only seeing fuzzy bits and pieces. She was standing in the doorway, grasping it for support as she tried grievously to catch a glimpse of what I was planning on doing.

Jasper crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her protectively; she released the doorframe and leaned into him, allowing him to guide her to the couch that Emmett hurriedly uncovered for them. He sat and pulled her down next to him, focusing on calming her.

She groaned in frustration and looked up at me, "You want to meet him," she said almost flatly.

I stopped playing, "I want to know that he makes her happy and I want to make sure he appreciates what he's getting." My voice faltered and trailed off at the end.

'_Let her go Edward,' s_he thought.

"If she is happy…" I answered.

'_You already **made** your decision, this is cruel – Let her go!'_ she pleaded silently.

"If she is truly happy she will not know I was here and I will let her go - forever Alice." I couldn't keep the desperation from my voice. "I cannot be happy without her; and as you say I made my choice to leave. But she... she once said that she couldn't be happy without _me_ in _her_ life either. If that appears to be true, if she is not happy, then damn-it-all I'm going to win her back whatever it takes!"

More fuzzy bits and pieces flashed through her mind. She leaned further into Jasper and sadly sighed, "I won't be able to change your mind." Not a question, and said in resignation; it meant she wouldn't try any more.

'_We'll stay with you,'_ she told me silently. _'As long as you need to be here.'_

I nodded silently in acknowledgement, and turned my thoughts to Jacob, I would find out what I could about him first, and then investigate his relationship with Bella. I felt the jealous rage that I had experienced in Bella's room return and fought to control it. I had to remind myself that I was _not_ competing for Bella's affection; I was merely looking out for her… _as always._

Daybreak found us sitting in the woods watching Bella's house I left the car parked about a mile away to avoid detection. Her father seemed to be away; his cruiser was still absent from the driveway. She came out and got in her truck quite early. I was getting good at this spy stuff I thought, and couldn't help but smile to myself as I followed her from a distance.

"Edward stop." Alice said suddenly. I obeyed pulling over to the side of the road and meeting her gaze in the rearview mirror. "She's going to visit the reservation," she explained, "we can't cross the line."

I knew she was right, so I turned the car around and headed back to our house. When the sun went down we decided to hunt. They tried to lure me to some distant place with talk of mountain lions, but I was content with the nearby elk in order to stay close.

I drank my fill and then found myself running. I had no plan, no destination in mind. I just ran, feeling the freedom, enjoying the cool wind on my skin. Without ever actually deciding to go there, I found myself in the woods behind Bella's house. I slowed to a stop and stepped out into her yard. I realized her truck was parked in the driveway, '_Charlie must be away the entire weekend,'_ I thought to myself.

I started toward the house when I heard someone approaching through the woods. I stopped abruptly, realizing it wasn't Alice, Jasper, or Emmett. I didn't recognize the 'voice' either. Nor did I initially fully grasp the meaning behind the thoughts I was hearing…

'_Filthy bloodsuckers! I knew I smelled them in the woods yesterday… And of course tonight the lights are one at the Cullen house! Did he wanna come have another go at her? Not satisfied with what he's already done? I'll kill him. Wait a sec-... That's fresh!!!"_

I heard a low growl just beyond the tree line, and from the scent I decided that it must be Jacob Black glaring out at me from the shadows. I growled back at him lowering myself into a crouch.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 11

****Edward's POV** cont.**

'_What the hell is he doing here? If he thinks he's gonna hurt Bella… bloodsuckin' freak's gonna have to go through me!'_

I couldn't help myself… I chuckled darkly, "I have no desire whatsoever to harm Bella in any capacity. But I would most assuredly enjoy further discussing the going through you part…"

He had 'phased' back into his human form. I felt every muscle in my body tense with the desire to attack… Not only was he my mortal enemy, he was the one my beautiful Bella called out to in her sleep. Venom was pooling in my mouth as I stood back up, acutely aware of his every thought… his every movement… I would not break the treaty, but should he choose to abandon it… I was ready.

'_What the… Awww hell! That's right... Shit. Shit. Shit. Bella said the bloodsucker could read minds! So much for the element of surprise…'_ Jacob stepped out of the trees slowly.

"I do hope that you monitor that language when you're around Bella," I said in disgust.

"I don't think it's any of your business what I do around Bella, Bloodsucker!" he sneered.

"Well you are _very_ sadly mistaken there, Jacob Black." I heard Alice, Jasper and Emmett fast approaching through the trees.

His head jerked in the direction of the sound, indicating that he heard them also.

'_How many are there_?' he was thinking, _'2, 3 more… no, sounds like 3 more coming… 4 on 1… My kinda odds... Just need to phase at the right moment'_

I shook my head at him in disbelief; surely this arrogant _child_ didn't think he could fight four vampires! "It's alright," I assured the others when they were close enough. "Please, walk slowly to me. No sudden movements to frighten the… pup," I smirked.

They complied and approached me slowly, Jasper and Emmett flanking me on either side. Alice falling in between them – slightly behind me; they never took their eyes off Jacob.

_'I'm gonna tear him to pieces!'_ Jacob was thinking. _'Tear him to pieces, put him back together like a bloodsucker jigsaw puzzle and then tear his ass to pieces **again!**'_

I wanted desperately to spring at him, and his taunting mind did absolutely nothing to aid in my attempts at self-restraint. I could envision it… springing up behind him and sinking my teeth into his neck.

"Your Jacob Black?" Alice asked him.

'_Not just Jacob Black,'_ he was thinking, _'Jacob Black, vampire killer!'_ "What's it to _you_?" He asked her aloud.

"Calm him please Jazz," Alice said.

"What the heck's that supposed to mean?" Jacob demanded. His mind frantic, _'did she say calm me? What the??? Weird… How are they??? Awww crap! She said they could mess with your emotions…' _he sighed.

"Listen to me Jacob Black," I started, "I am not here under the pretense of bringing Isabella Swan one ounce of grief. I only came back temporarily, I assure you... to make sure that she was ok...'

"I'm not ready to leave _yet_," I answered his unspoken question. "Yes I can see that you're taking care of her now," I responded again to something he hadn't vocalized. "But do you make her _happy_?" I asked.

'_You want in my head bloodsucker?'_ the child thought cruelly_, "Hell yeah I make her happy, and I would **never** do what you did to her! You wanna see how she __**is**__? Well maybe you should see how she __**was**__ instead! What __**you**__ did to her!'_ and he pulled from his memory an image of Bella that almost brought me to my knees. She was curled up in a ball on the forest floor, embracing herself, crying – the way she was when Sam found her in the woods after I'd left.

"She wouldn't eat, she had nightmares every damn night, she was a freakin' zombie for six months because of you!" he spat angrily.

I hung my head in shame, and he took obvious pleasure in that. I closed my eyes and tried unsuccessfully to clear that heart-wrenching image from my mind. I reminded myself again why I was here. I thought of Carlisle and how he would have me handle this situation, and I regained a bit of my dignity.

The others were confused by our half silent exchange; but they remained alert. Jasper was making this much easier by exuberating waves of peace and tranquility.

I started again, "I want you to listen to me Jacob Black. We both know that Forks is neutral territory. It would be a treaty violation to attack one another here. We also know that _if_ you were to break the treaty and IF you were actually able to kill me," I snickered; "my brothers and sister would make sure you didn't make it back to your reservation." Alice, Jasper and Emmett snarled in confirmation.

He didn't object, aloud or silently, so I continued. "I don't owe _you_ anything, but I'm going to explain myself to you one time, simply to illustrate how very much that beautiful girl means to me."

His thoughts immediately went to my intentions being to regain her affection.

"That's _not_ why I'm here," I assured him.

I spoke of the danger I constantly put her in, and couldn't help but agree with him when his thoughts turned to her being a danger magnet. Bella had already told him about the birthday party, but she had of course tried to downplay everything and take responsibility. I saw his eyes shoot to Jasper when I spoke of his reaction to her blood. I told him that she had wanted me to change her and how I couldn't bring myself to do it – I believe I saw his eyes tear when I mentioned her being _too_ pure and _too_ good for me.

"I had no choice but to leave her," I said, barely above a whisper.

"Ok." He agreed, "So why're you back now?"

Alice came to my aid then and quickly explained her vision of Bella plummeting from a cliff into the dark waters below. His thoughts went to the very night it had almost happened. Stabbing pain invaded my chest again as he remembered finding her; crying, bleeding, filled with anguish, and wandering the trail to the cliff top. He had prevented her from following through with her diabolical plan and he took her home with him. I couldn't help but be grateful to him for that…

She told him how she had come out to check on Bella and about the scene that she witnessed in Port Angeles while she was there. Jacob's mind went to a telephone call from Charlie, asking him to come over and try to console Bella. He hadn't known the details of what had triggered her breakdown…. He cursed the girl they'd called Lauren. I hated to admit it, but his protective nature impressed me. It was becoming clear to me that he loved Bella dearly…

"So we needed to check on her again and make sure she wasn't as miserable as she seemed that afternoon when she was shopping with that _horrible_ girl." Alice finished up. "We _all_ love her very much Jacob," she said softly.

"So then why aren't you ready to leave now that you see she ok?" Jacob asked.

"Because 'ok' is no longer good enough." I told him truthfully. "I want more than anything, for her to be happy. I have realized that I cannot ever really be happy without her in my life – but my happiness pales in comparison to hers. If she can be happy without me in her life, then I will not stand in her way. Perhaps in time I will even be able to find peace just knowing that Bella is out there… _somewhere…_ happy."

"I'm going to stick around for a couple of days Jacob, and even once I leave I will be back, often; to check on her happiness. If I think for one minute that you're not making her happy - I will take it upon myself to rectify the situation." I walked right up to him and glared at him threateningly, "and should you ever hurt her," I snarled, "I **promise** I will kill you."

"That's it?" Jacob asked. "You step aside and she's mine…" He was trying to figure out the trap he imagined I was setting. "No duel to the death or anything cool like that?"

"As long as she is happy with you." I qualified. "I will be watching you though, just waiting in the wings in case you ever take her for granted or hurt her in any way. And mind you... I have FOREVER to wait and watch."

"Wow," he said, "If you weren't a filthy bloodsucker I'd say you were alright… That's damn noble of ya Edward."

"I assure you, it's all for Bella… not you, pup." I felt a smile play at my lips and decided I could give Bella a gift; he had never taken her out on a proper date! That wouldn't do at all, she deserved to be wined and dined at the very least.

"I'll make you a deal…" I grinned as his mind raced, trying to imagine what I could possibly want from him. "Take her out tomorrow – treat her like a lady. You are obviously a lucky _dog_," I stressed the last word, "Let her know that you know that you are. And I'll take my leave tomorrow night."

"You mean take her on like a real date?" he asked. _'That's his favor? What is he up to? Hmmm… We haven't really been on a date yet… Guess that might even make us official…'_ he thought._ 'Yeah… we could ride into Port Angeles, take in a movie, eat at that Italian place… Hey and then there's the bonfire tonight. Yeah... That'll be great!'_

"I don't get it though," he looked up warily, "How is _me_ taking Bella on a date a favor to _you_?" he asked.

"I told you," I sighed, "I want her to be happy – make her happy Jacob, let _me_ see _her_ happy again and I'll take that memory and be forever grateful to you."

"How will you see her?" he asked.

I motioned to the others that it was time to go. "She won't see _me_," I assured him, and we started running back toward the house. "I'll be watching you Jacob Black." I hissed over my shoulder.

Jacob only responded with an unspoken, _'shit I need to run back and get the car!'_

Alice envisioned herself shopping for 'disguises'; so she and Jasper detoured while Emmett and I ran on in silence.

Emmett was disappointed. Once they'd come across Jacob's stench he had been hoping that I would disregard the treaty and tear the boy to shreds before bounding in through the window to claim Bella as my own. I chuckled softly to myself; I had to admit, his plan was achingly appealing…

I noticed the continued absense of the police cruiser when I drove past Bella's to the inconspicuous spot I had found to leave my car. I walked back through the trees toward her house. As I neared her yard I heard a loud noise approaching, I turned toward the horrid racket to see Jacob in his beat up VW Rabbit pulling up in front of the house.

I cringed at the car; it was a horrible eyesore! I just couldn't envision my beautiful Bella being hauled around in something so downright ugly. She deserved something sleek and shiny, not that dilapidated hunk of junk. Of course I knew Bella wouldn't care what kind of car Jacob drove; she was beyond such things.

Bella was usually an early riser; but there were no sounds from inside the house. It appeared as though this morning she was sleeping in…

I watched Jacob, sitting in his car, looking into his rearview mirror running his fingers through his hair and muttering to himself. I closed my eyes and focused my ears… "What if after everything she still sees us as just friends? I gotta find out how she really feels about me. I know she loves me, but does she love me more than the bloodsucker? I can't just ask her that!" he scoffed. "Sure wish I could read minds like that vamp freak. That'd make this a whole lot easier.' He sighed and looked toward the house indecisively, contemplating letting himself into the house with the key under the eave.

I hadn't heard this uncertainty before, Somehow he'd kept it hidden earlier. There was still no doubt that the boy loved _her_, but I felt a sudden surge of hope when I realized that he himself wasn't sure that she returned his feelings. I thought back to Bella's behavior regarding the fan club she had acquired on arriving at Forks High School… I thought back to Mike Newton, and remembered the strange anger his thoughts of her had stirred in me – the same feeling I felt as I watched Jacob. Jealousy.

I would have to keep an especially close eye on Bella today, I realized. In order to have the strength to walk away from her again, I would have to know that she was truly happy, and that she loved him. Not only would I ensure that the dog knew how to treat her, but I wanted –no, I needed to see her with him. My inability to read her thoughts had caused me to become especially good at reading her face, her eyes. Her love for him would confirm my last chapter in her life, though it would far from write her out of mine…

Her beautiful face appeared before my eyes, her deep brown eyes sparkling with laughter - then her smile softened, her deep eyes became impossibly deeper still and they shone with love… I leaned back against a tree, feeling physically weakened by the vision. Once, I had made her that happy… but then I let her go… broke her heart. When it comes to something as rare… as precious… as _good_ as Bella… You simply could not expect a second chance.

Emmett, Jasper and Alice had just joined me when Bella and Jacob stepped out of the house. I heard their thoughts racing; three varieties of awe directed toward the beautiful young woman who stepped smiling into the day. She was wearing the dress that Alice had picked out, although of course she didn't know it. Her shimmering brown hair was swept down her bare shoulders in gentle waves. She was positively vibrant!

'_Well,_' Alice was thinking, _'At least it looks like I was some kind of positive influence on her._' The phrase Bella-Barbie crossed her mind; I couldn't help but smile… "She does look amazing doesn't she?" I whispered.

I heard Jacob wondering how her new dress could smell so much like me, he worried that I had been visiting her. I caught Alice grinning. "You little devil!" I chided her quietly; she'd known what she was doing when she handed the dress to me in the department store. She silently sang 'Mary had a Little Lamb' to keep her thoughts to herself, gave an attempt at an innocent smile and shrugged.

He glanced around, he was certain we were near. He led her to his battered jalopy and opened her door for her and helped her in – I hadn't expected that… I was glad he did it. Once he joined her in the car they were off in a roar and a cloud of black smoke. Jacob's thoughts a buzz of first date jitters, concern of me making an appearance, and a hint of shock at just how 'awesome' Bella looked.

I stared after them for several minutes. A part of me wanted to chase after them, stop the car… I shook my head fiercely to clear that line of thought. I felt Jasper's hand clap me on the back and steer me toward the car. I was grateful _again_ for his tranquility.

Once we were at the car, I noticed for the first time that they were all wearing the same style clothing. I looked at each of them, my expression puzzled; they looked like a bunch of hooligans. Alice reached into the car and pulled out a duffle bag. She reached into it and tossed whatever she extracted from it to me. I caught it with ease and realized it was a change of clothing, items similar to what they were wearing.

'_Just get in the back and change on the way_' Alice silently instructed me as she slid in behind the wheel of my Volvo. Jasper took the passenger seat and Emmett and I climbed into the back. I watched the visions Alice was thinking about… Apparently, she had our covert operation all planned out…

I felt foolish. The others were rather enjoying being 'undercover'. Emmett and Jasper had a wager as to whether or not I'd kill Jacob before the day was out. Emmett was actually quite hopeful…

Alice was still uncertain, her visions still vague and fuzzy.

We were sitting in the movie theater. I couldn't stop looking at her; she had noticed our entrance of course, and she kept glancing our way nervously. I couldn't blame her for being nervous, Alice's silly disguises…

Jacob knew it was us of course. I saw him wrap a possessive arm about her shoulders. I paid no attention at all to the movie, though I knew it was supposed to be a horror film. I watched the two of them laugh and joke; I watched her eyes light up when he spoke… When she was actually startled and she squealed or jumped in her seat I noticed that although he teased her playfully he was immediate to squeeze her shoulder or pull her closer reassuringly.

The others shielded my stares by huddling around me, making it look as though we were all talking.

"Jasper," I whispered, "As we leave can you get a feel for her? Give me your take on her?"

"Of course," he smiled softly. "We'll need to get closer though," he pointed out, "too many people between us and her right now."

I nodded.

'_Movie's almost over.'_ Alice wordlessly alerted me.

"Let's go." I told them. We walked across the theater and out the door nearest the two of them. I watched her face as closely as I could from under my ridiculous hood as we made our exit.

"Do you _really_ want to know?" Jasper asked quietly as we let the theater and made our way toward the boardwalk where Alice expected them to go next. His thoughts had already told me of course; love and happiness had coursed through his body as we walked past them.

We walked all the way out to the pier, and had split up to watch for them and hopefully attract less attention. I stared out across the water from my position on the boardwalk and thought about all the things that I would be willing to give up to have one more chance at a 'happily ever after' with Isabella Swan.

The breeze shifted and I caught her scent before I heard Jacob's thoughts. The fire in my throat was undoubtedly the sweetest pain I could imagine… I stationed myself behind a rather large group of tourists, and watched with interest.

They were on the boardwalk; she was staring up into his face adoringly.

"What are you thinking?" he asked her. He wanted to see inside her mind almost as badly as I did…

Her reply was breathless, "I was thinking… I was thinking about how lucky I am."

"You?" Jacob asked sounding dumbfounded. He lifted her up and spun her around, his thoughts joyous. He set her back down and spoke passionately, "You listen to me Isabella Swan. You are not the lucky one here. You have been everything I ever wanted since before I ever had a clue what that meant. I am the luckiest guy in the world Bells, all because of you. and I am also one of the most selfish," he added with a sad smile. "I'm willing to let you stay here pretending like I deserve better – I let you tell yourself that I'm settling with you. When in reality there's nothing I could ever do in a million lifetimes to deserve someone like you. But if you can't figure that out…" He actually smirked, "What kind of idiot would I have to be point it out to you?"

'_Well now_,' I thought, ' _I suppose there may be more to the boy than meets the eye_.' I smiled to myself happy to note that he at least seemed to fully acknowledged just how unworthy he was. _She_ deserved to be honored and cherished…

She had tears running down her cheeks when I looked again. "Jacob Black…" she started, but he stopped her with a finger to her lips, and lowered his head to hers, and kissed her.

I felt my skin crawl! The familiar rage flowing through my veins… Jasper and Alice were immediately at my side, Jasper quickly dispelling my anger.

Their lips parted after what seemed an eternity, Jacob's mind was reeling as he thought about how soft and sweet her lips were. They both laughed quietly as they turned and headed back the way they came.

'_Can we go home __**now**__?_' Alice questioned quietly.

I nodded silently. "Just give me a moment please," I whispered.

She touched my arm, her thoughts yearned to comfort me; I patted her hand and turned away from her. _'We'll wait for you at the car.'_ She thought solemnly. Without looking back at her I nodded again. She and Jasper left; they met Emmett just off the boardwalk and told him I needed a little time to myself. They left; all of their thoughts focused on me and my obvious pain and sadness. They felt sorry for me…

I believe, fool that I was, that I had expected some sort relief when I realized that Bella had done just as I'd told her to. I was very sadly mistaken indeed… I wanted to remember her happy, laughing face – I thought that if nothing else I would be able to leave this time with a happier memory of her… but the image in mind, _my_ beautiful Bella in_ Jacob's _arms smiling lovingly into _his_ face… It brought me to a new depth of hell.

I felt like I had died all over again. The three days of burning as I became a vampire had nothing on the eternity of burning that I would experience now… I stood there, looking out over the water, for over an hour. I tried desperately to convince the selfish part of me that I had absolutely no choice but to let her go. I _knew_ it was the right thing to do. I told her to move on, and she did. She was undoubtedly happy. I _owed_ it to her to keep her that way, I had every intention of making good on my promise to Jacob, I would return occasionally; and if I ever found her anything less than happy…

I slowly made my way back to the car; the others were sitting inside waiting patiently for me. Alice was behind the wheel again, so I opened the back door and got in beside Emmett. Jasper glanced back over his shoulder and smiled sadly, he was wishing he could do something other than numb the immediate pain.

Alice turned the key, and the car purred to life; she pulled out of the parking space and down the street. We left Port Angeles, and instead of turning toward Forks she headed for the interstate. We were heading back to Denali where we would meet Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie.

I closed my eyes and sobbed tearlessly. I felt as though I were leaving the remains of my shattered heart behind us as we drove away.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 12

Jacob pulled away breathlessly. "Wait. Right. Here," he whispered between gasps, "I'll be… right back…"

My hand fluttered to my chest as he jumped out of the car and ran into his house. I pressed my fingers against my chest over my pounding heart, trying to subdue it before it burst through my ribcage. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the seat.

Jacob was back in a minute, opening the car door and helping me out. He had a bundle in his other arm, but I couldn't tell what it was in the dark. I felt dazed as he led me around to the back of his house. Just past a group of trees he stopped and spread what I realized was a blanket out on the ground. He took my hand in his again, and led me to the middle of the blanket. He sat down and pulled me gently down beside him.

He leaned back until he was lying on his back, releasing his grip on my hand to bring both of his to my face. His dark eyes burning bright with desire, staring almost desperately into mine.

My face flushed and I was momentarily overcome with guilt, although I didn't understand why.

I felt a faint quiver inside, a reminder of the pain… Pain that this absolutely beautiful man in front of me got me through. Pain that I… didn't feel anymore.

I couldn't look anywhere but into his eyes. All of a sudden there was nothing else. Just Jacob… My breath caught, and my heart started racing. My mind was filled with Jacob… my savior… my best friend… always there… loving me… even when I didn't deserve him.

He kept hold of my face, stroking my cheeks with his thumbs, staring deeply into my eyes. I had pushed him away so many times… Ran so hot and cold with him…. His uncertainty was warring with his desire; his eyes spoke volumes. I noticed the tip of his tongue slip out to moisten his lips and I quickly and impulsively covered his lips with my own. He gasped in surprise, as he enthusiastically responded to my kiss. I felt his warm hands slide down my back, pressing me firmly against him as he deepened the kiss – our tongues dancing.

The desperate need for oxygen eventually forced me to pull away from him, and we were both gasping for air. One of his hands ran along my back and along the curve of my backside before retracing it's path upward. I shuddered at his touch, a trail of fire left in the wake of his fingers.

I opened my eyes to steal a glance at him and he was staring at me with a half dazed expression on his face. "Jake… Wha…" he pulled me back into him again, his lips crushing mine. I felt his tongue graze my lower lip, and my lips parted; my tongue meeting his. My hands found his hair; I twisted my fingers through his dark, silky locks. His arms engulfed me, my chest pressed flat against him. My brain dissolved inside my skull. I felt like we were falling into the stars above us. I lost myself in him. His scent, – _God how I love the way he smells_ – his presence, his very being…

His lips left mine to trail soft fiery kisses across my cheek, grazing my ear, down my jaw to my throat. I groaned softly and shuddered. He held my face to his with one hand while the other trailed down my side, squeezing my hip, caressing my thigh.

I was completely possessed by a sudden yearning… a hunger, a passion, an undeniable physical need for Jacob. His touch was electric, his flesh so hot it almost burned me to touch him. My skin was flush, my heart pounding in my chest; I leaned my head back exposing my neck and throat to him for easier access. Another groan escaped my lips as his teeth grazed my skin; I tightened my grip on his hair.

His trail of kisses brought his lips back to mine again. He gently bit my lower lip and when I gasped his tongue snaked between my parted lips. I gently pressed my teeth against it and started to gently suck on it; it was his turn to groan. He adjusted himself to more of a sitting position, leaning his back against the tree, while keeping me pressed tightly to him, our lips never parting. He pulled me into his lap.

I shifted my weight, bringing my legs around to straddle him, grinding into him. My hands exploring his wide shoulders, his strong arms, his broad chest, as I rolled my hips. I was delighting, not only in Jacob's obvious pleasure - but also in the surprising ways my own body was responding.

Jacob's hands found my hips and he guided my movements, pressing me harder against him.

I felt the most amazing feeling… an unexplainable feeling. It was urgent, almost primitive… Unlike anything I had ever felt before… I grabbed fistfuls of Jake's hair moaning as my hips rocked, dipped, bucked and delved of their own accord; the friction bringing wave after wave of the most awe inspiring physical pleasure I had ever experienced.

"Bells!" Jacob whispered, his voice husky but filled with… shock? He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him, preventing me from moving. My body was twitching, my head buzzing, I felt hyper-aware of every part of my body; my skin was tingling. I could feel Jacob still throbbing beneath me; I tried to roll my hips forward, but he tightened his grip on me and resisted my efforts.

I could feel his heart pounding as fiercely as my own. I bent my head to his neck to kiss him, but he pulled back and chuckled softly.

His voice wasn't much more than a whisper, "Please..." another chuckle, "I just need you to behave for a minute so I don't embarrass myself." His lip grazed my ear as he spoke into it. I shuddered and leaned into his chest, he gently rubbed my back as we sat there silently for several moments.

Leaning into him, my head on his chest listening to the sound of his heartbeat, as it like mine slowly regulated itself to it's slower, more even rhythm. I suddenly realized what had just happened…

Before Jake, the only person I had ever been remotely intimate with had been Edward. We had shared moments of course, he would hold me for hours…. stolen kisses, rare touches. Fear for my life had always prevented any sort of reckless abandonment like what I had just shared with Jake.

We were still both fully clothed… I didn't exactly know for sure, but I couldn't shake the thought that I had just experienced my very first… Oh! I gasped and felt the blood rush to my face. My heart stopped for what seemed an eternity before giving a leap in my chest and restarting at a quickened pace.

Jacob was shaking gently as he buried his face in my hair, kissing the top of my head. I heard a strange muffled noise escape him; was he laughing at me? I slowly turned my head up to face him; and while the smile that touched his lips was more of a cocky smirk than a smile, the love that shone in his ebony eyes was more than enough. His eyes told me not to be afraid, not to be embarrassed; his eyes told me that he wanted me, needed me, loved me… His eyes told me forever.

He wiped the smirk from his face, and when his hand found my chin it was 'my smile' on his lips. Lips that were saying, "I love you Bells" and not waiting for a response before they met my own in one of the softest, sweetest, most tender kisses ever shared by any two lips in the history of the universe.

When our lips parted it took me a moment to find my voice. I looked at him, into those deep ebony orbs and I couldn't help but smile, "I love you too Jake" I sighed.

We scooted back down. I shivered, the night air was cool, but then I was immersed in a blanket of Jacob; his body heat more than enough to fend off the chill as he wrapped me in his arms. We lay there, holding each other, kissing, caressing one another until we fell asleep under the stars.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 13

I awoke still snuggled in Jacob's arms. I inhaled deeply, his scent mixed with the ocean breeze to fill my lungs; I gave a long contented sigh. I hadn't opened my eyes yet, but the bright orange glow I saw through my closed lids told me that it was one of those rare sunny days. I rubbed my fists at my eyes and was finally able to get them open.

I sat up as quickly as I could, after detangling myself from Jacob's clutches. _What time was it?_ I glanced around quickly, my eyes eventually looking toward the sun – it was awfully high… I cursed myself for leaving my watch at home.

Jacob stirred then, reaching out and pulling me back down to him before he was even fully awake. His boyish grin was more than enough to make me forget any and all concerns.

"Morning," he said squeezing me to him with one arm while blocking the sun from his eyes with the other hand. I felt a warm twinge in my heart.

"Good morning," I smiled up at him wrapping my arms around his neck and returning his embrace. I snuggled into him, my fingers finding his silky black mane, and sighed contentedly.

I gasped thinking I heard something from near his garage. When I turned to look over my shoulder toward the sound Jake sprang to his feet positioning himself between the garage and me. _He must have heard it too…_ There was another sound, this time followed by an outburst of laughter.

Jacob cursed under his breath, but you could see the tension leave his body. "Alright! Enough screwin' around you dorks," he called out.

Embry and Quil sheepishly stepped into view. Both were shirtless; they were laughing and playfully shoving one another.

"Hey Jake. Hey there Bella," Embry waved smiling warmly.

Quil smirked at Jacob, "S'up Jacob?" His eyes shifting from Jake to the blanket to me and then back to Jake again. "Bella," he turned his gaze back to me and nodded, his mischievous grin widening. "Did you two have a uh… nice night?"

Jacob punched him right in the gut. "Watch it!" he warned his friend. Quil doubled over at the impact but was laughing good-naturedly all the same. Embry's eyes met mine and he shrugged and rolled his eyes at his friends. "So what are you punks doin' out and about so early?" Jacob asked.

"It's not that early Jake," Embry chuckled, "it's almost 10."

"Besides," Quil added, "we had early patrol."

They made small talk amongst themselves and then they slipped out of earshot to speak for a moment in hushed voices.

Jake returned and kissed me on the cheek before saying something about doing something in the garage with Quil and Embry. I set about folding up the blanket we had slept on. Once I had it folded I carried it into the house. I didn't know where he'd had got it from the night before so I just laid it on the couch.

My stomach growled loudly and I suspected Jacob would probably be pretty hungry also, so I headed into the kitchen to see what I could scrounge us up to eat. I can't pretend like I was surprised to see that their pantry was all but bare; and their refrigerator had an outdated half-gallon of milk, a single slice of cheese, and an empty pizza box inside of it. _Not much help there…_ I sighed and thought back to the state of Charlie's kitchen back when I'd first arrived in Forks.

Knowing the way Jacob and the others lost track of time when they got involved in anything in the garage; I figured I had time to make a quick trip to the market. I jotted a quick note just in case I was wrong and they found me missing.

My bike was parked between the bushes on the opposite side of the house from the garage, to keep it away from Charlie's eyes – not that he'd know it was mine of course; but I just felt better with him not so much as laying eyes on it. I could hear the music blaring from Jake's old boom box in the garage. They probably wouldn't even hear me leave I thought, smiling to myself at the prospect of surprising Jacob with brunch.

I rode especially carefully to the nearby market, I couldn't help but think about how awful it would be to wreck on the way…. _What a way to spoil a surprise…_ I thought. I was actually quite adept at riding by now; and traveling through the dirt streets of the reservation was much safer and easier than riding over the winding trails Jacob and I had been known to follow. However, with luck like mine it's always best to exercise extreme caution.

I quickly made my purchases and once back outside, I went about attaching the bags to my bike; I silently prayed that at least most of the eggs would survive the trip. _Maybe I should've borrowed Jake's car…_ I shrugged and sighed to myself before climbing onto the bike and heading back to Jake's.

I cut the engine before coasting into the yard. I smiled when I noticed the music was still blaring from the other side of the house and hurried inside.

I knew I couldn't very well leave poor Quil & Embry out. I also knew from helping Emily prepare food that these boys had practically insatiable appetites. I wasn't at all sure how much of anything to cook, I was only accustomed to cooking for Renee' and I and then for Charlie and I, and none of us were especially big eaters. So I cooked it all, two pounds of bacon and sausage, four-dozen biscuits and five-dozen eggs.

I suppose with appetites like theirs you'd almost have to expect them to have an awesome sense of smell – in an effort to fulfill said appetites. But I was surprised nonetheless when as soon as I was sliding the last of the eggs out of the pan all three guys magically appeared in the doorway.

"See!" exclaimed Quil pointedly, "I _told you_ I smelled sausage!" He quickly grabbed a biscuit and threw it in his mouth whole while grabbing a plate and filling it.

"For us?" Embry asked, trying to show more restraint than his friend. I smiled and nodded and he too grabbed a plate and started piling it with food.

Jake was still standing in the doorway. He was looking from me to the table and then at me again. Yep, he was definitely pleasantly surprised; I was glad that I'd made it out and back unnoticed. He was smiling 'my smile' again.

"Wow." He said after a minute and stepped forward to pull me into his warm embrace. "Thanks Bells,' he whispered softly and gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek. I felt my face flush when I turned around to see both Embry and Quil staring at us, identical knowing smiles playing at their lips.

"Hey don't be eatin' it all!" he suddenly called out to the others as he grabbed a plate for himself and started loading it up.

I leaned against the kitchen sink, nibbling on a biscuit, and watched the three of them. They growled and fought and joked and played at the table like brothers, their obvious bond was heartwarming to observe.

Quil slapped Jacob on the back and nodded toward me. "Hey J, She's definitely a keeper man." He grinned and winked at me playfully. "She can cook!"

Jacob followed his friend's gaze and just smiled at me.

Sam showed up before the boys were done eating. He ate a little and gave me a wink as he said that he knew where to go anytime Emily wasn't up to feeding him. I thought about just how comfortable I was here, not just at Jake's but also in La Push as a whole… Again I caught Jake staring at me, that silly grin on his face; and I felt the heat rise in my cheeks.

I was pretty pleased with myself, it was a nice brunch, and I knew Jake had appreciated my efforts. He and Embry offered to help with the dishes, but I shoo'ed them all out of the kitchen so I could clean up and they all returned out to Jacob's homemade garage.

Once I had all the dishes washed and put away I set about cleaning up the rest of the kitchen. I turned the television on to one of those 24-hour music channels and lost myself in cleaning and scrubbing. Having worked my way through the living room and hallway, I finished up by cleaning the bathroom and then rewarded myself with a hot shower.

I settled into the couch and grabbed the television remote. I expected to channel surf for a bit and end up watching 'Food Network.' The next thing I knew I felt warm soft hands on my cheeks and heard Jacob softly calling my name.

"Bella… Hey Sleeping Beauty." He whispered at my ear as my eyes fluttered open. My arms went straight around his neck and he grabbed my waist pulling me onto his lap as he slid back onto the couch from his perch on the edge. He kissed my forehead and stroked my hair lovingly.

His hair was still wet, he'd apparently taken a shower before waking me up, he smelled wonderful.

"So," he started, "looks like somebody kept herself busy in here today. You know you didn't need to do all that Bells. I mean the place looks great and all; I'm sure Billy will freak out and maybe invite you to move in…."

I laughed at him and shrugged, "I was bored," I offered, "just don't go getting used to…"

He pulled my face to his and kissed me into silence. "Thank you," he murmured between kisses. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tightly to him. "It's probably time I take you home before Charlie puts out an APB." He said, disappointment heavy in his voice.

I hopped up from his lap and gathered my things; a few minutes later he was walking me out to his Rabbit. We drove back to Forks in a comfortable silence, as I replayed the wonderful weekend in my head.

He parked behind Charlie's cruiser and walked me to the door. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. After being so close to him all weekend the idea of leaving him was arduous. I wrapped my arms around his waist and whimpered softly into his chest. He took my chin between his thumb and index finger and gently turned my head up toward his. He leaned down and my lips tingled in anticipation of his. I felt his warm sweet breath on my face, and I almost jumped out of my skin when Charlie chose that very minute to open the front door.

"Hey kids," Charlie greeted us warmly.

"Hi dad," I muttered, trying to keep my flushed face and guilty eyes averted.

"Hey Chief," Jacob replied stepping back from me and taking the screen door that Charlie was holding open for us and guiding me into the house. "You and dad have much luck this weekend?"

"We did ok," Charlie said, plopping back down in his chair. "How about you kids? You guys enjoy the weekend?"

We made small talk in the living room for a few minutes and I excused myself to put my things in my room and head into the kitchen to start dinner. Once I had the spaghetti sauce simmering I realized that the conversation in the living room had become muted. I stepped around the corner to see Jacob on the edge of the couch nearest Charlie's chair; they were talking quietly with their heads bent together.

"You staying for dinner Jake?" I asked, obviously startling both of them.

"Not tonight Bells," he smiled, "I should probably go um spend a little time with Billy, but I'll come by tomorrow afternoon."

I stepped back into the kitchen to start a pot of water boiling for the pasta. I had just set the table for Charlie and I when Jake slipped his arms around me from behind. It never failed to amaze me how someone as big and bulky as Jake could move so gracefully and silently.

I was going to ask him what he and Charlie had been talking about, but he turned me to him and brought his lips to mine and I forgot everything. I wrapped my arms around him and pressed myself into him as tightly as I could.

He pulled away, his dark eyes shining with desire, and exhaled slowly. "I have to go. I love you Bells," he whispered. He kissed me on the head and gave me a final squeeze before striding out of the kitchen. I heard him say goodbye to Charlie and leave the house. I then heard his car start and him drive off.

I stood there dazed for several minutes; feeling like I'd been drunk on Jacob for the past couple of days. I was not looking forward to sobering up. I sighed to myself and went about finishing dinner.

After eating and getting the dishes cleaned up I realized I hadn't even started on my Physics homework. I bid an early goodnight to Charlie and headed upstairs to my room. The homework wasn't hard, as long as I could keep my mind from wandering back to Jacob – which I was having a hard time doing.

I finally got through the assignment, although I lost count of the number of times I found myself erasing Jacob's name from my page where I'd started doodling it while lost in thought. I showered and dressed for bed, Jacob still at the forefront of my mind as I slipped under my quilt.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...  


* * *

**

Chapter 14

The very first thing I noticed was the smell… that salty, rusty, coppery scent that made my stomach cringe and churn. Then I noticed the searing pain that ran from my wrist to the bend of my elbow. That's when I saw the blood. There was so much of it; it was all over the floor around me, as well as all over me. I heard a blood-curdling growl and turned my head to see… Jasper? I started to smile at him, Jasper Hale was crouched down not twenty feet away from me, but there was something different about him, something… _very wrong_. Another noise from the other side of the room caused me to jerk my head away from Jasper. I heard him before I saw him…

"Jasper, NO!" the velvety sweet voice warned. How I had once yearned to hear that melodic velvety voice again... Edward. He was in the shadows; I couldn't make out more than his silhouette. Even as he stepped closer, approaching me slowly, carefully, his arms stretched out in front of him, hands up toward Jasper, I couldn't see his face clearly. He was trying to position himself between Jasper and I; Jasper growled again and as I turned to look at him, this time noticing the '_Happy Birthday Bella_' banner hanging overhead, he sprung at me, there was a second growl and I screamed.

I jolted from my bed soaked in sweat, my fists full of sheet and feeling the scream about to escape my lips. I fell back against my pillow gasping for air and trying to calm myself. _Only a dream… Only a dream…_ I chanted to myself. The digital display on my nightstand said it was 5:03, so I flipped off the alarm and got out of bed. I grabbed my things and headed to the bathroom hoping a warm shower might help me wash the nightmare away.

When I got out of the shower and was dressed for the day, I headed downstairs to find Charlie already sitting at the kitchen table reading the morning paper, drinking a cup of coffee and chewing on a bagel. He smiled as I entered, "Good morning birthday girl!" he said warmly.

I froze, and my mind went to the dream as my eyes went to the calendar. It _was_ my birthday, and I hadn't even realized it, at least not consciously – apparently my subconscious had picked up on the fact.

"Nineteen huh?" Charlie was saying as I was brought back to reality.

I just smiled at him and grabbed myself a cup of coffee as he stood and started getting ready to head in to the station.

"Any big birthday plans today?" he asked. "I figured I'd order pizza, so you don't have to cook."

"Thanks dad," I smiled at the gesture. "No, I don't really have any plans. Jake's coming over to hang out after school, but that's all."

Charlie nodded as he put his gun belt on and slipped into his coat. "Well you have a Happy Birthday Bells," he said giving me a gruff peck on the cheek as he walked out and got in his cruiser.

I finished getting ready for school and curled up on the couch planning on reading another chapter or two in 'Wuthering Heights' before time to leave. I found however, that I couldn't focus on the pages in front of me. My thoughts instead kept returning to the dream; I couldn't believe it had been a year since that near fatal party. I wondered where they all were. I hoped Jasper had forgiven himself. I hoped they were at least together, wherever they were. My chest tightened as I thought about them; I missed them all so very much.

I grabbed my bag and shoved my tattered novel inside it before shutting off the lights and heading out the door. The sky was gray and full of clouds as I stumbled off my front porch and out to my ancient truck. I was silently praying to get through the day without anyone at school realizing that it was my birthday when I pulled into the student parking lot.

When the last bell rang I couldn't wait to get out of there. The day had been pretty uneventful. The only one to make mention of my birthday was Angela, and she knows that I don't like the fuss, so she just smiled at me and quietly slipped me a card as we were leaving the cafeteria. The card was signed by her and Ben and had two movie passes and a gift card to the restaurant we frequented in Port Angeles inside. I hugged them both and thanked them when I saw them before sixth period.

I hurried to my truck and tossed my things inside pulling myself up and in after. I had spent the majority of the day thinking about the Cullens, well most of them.

I was surprised when I arrived home to find the cruiser in the driveway and Jacob's Rabbit parked behind it. There was a truck parked nearby also that I didn't recognize. Jacob must have heard me pull up because I had no more than registered that he was there when he was pulling me out of the truck and into his warm embrace. I squealed as he spun me around the yard in his arms, "Jake!" trying unsuccessfully to keep the laughter out of my voice.

He put me down and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I teetered, dizzy from his spinning and he pulled me closer to him chuckling. He kicked the truck door closed and led me toward the house. Right outside the door he stopped short and pulled me into his arms, I watched his eyes turn to dark pools as he leaned his head down into mine. My breath caught as his lips touched mine. I wound my arms around his neck and pressed into him, catching him off balance and pushing him up against the front of the house. Jacob groaned softly into my mouth and held me tighter still. He finally broke the kiss and gently pulled me off him.

His breath was ragged and his grin was cocky when he spoke after a moment, "Damn Bells," he ran his fingers through his shaggy dark locks, "gonna rape me in front of your own house? And with the Chief sittin' right inside no less?" he chuckled softly.

I felt my face flush, which of course only made Jacob laugh outright. I didn't know what had come over me. Charlie could have opened that door any time… It was Jacob's fault. He just… had that effect on me. Sometimes when I kissed him or even just looked into his eyes it was like everything else disappeared. I chewed my bottom lip nervously and tried to catch his expression from behind the veil of my hair. He was still grinning that incredibly annoying, albeit sexy, cocky grin of his. Suddenly feeling indignant, I turned from him and stomped back to my truck to retrieve my keys and bag. I tried to stomp past him and into the house but he wouldn't let me.

"Jacob Black you get out of my way," I demanded.

He pretended not to hear me. He was leaning casually against the front of the house with one big strong arm held out blocking my path into the house. His hair was hanging loose to his shoulders, and his T-shirt seemed molded to the chiseled flesh beneath it. He caught my wandering gaze and chuckled again.

"Jacob!" I snapped harshly, "I am not playing with you. Get. Out. Of. My. Way!"

"Or?" he asked expectantly still battling laughter.

I realized I had nothing to threaten him with; he was bigger, stronger, and faster than me. He saw my shoulders slump and knew he had called my bluff. He laughed again and draped his arm around my shoulder. As we were stepping into the house he said, "You know, you really shouldn't be so mean and grumpy on your birthday." I froze.

Just then there was a chorus of "Happy Birthday Bellas". I gasped and spun around to see Charlie, Billy, Sam, Emily, Embry, Quil, Paul, and Jared all smiling happily. I turned to look at Jacob, and his sheepish lopsided grin made his guilt evident, he leaned down to brush my cheek with his lips as he whispered "happy birthday."

"You did this." I sighed shaking my head; it wasn't really a question.

"It _was_ my idea," he admitted, "but Charlie called everybody and Emily made the cake, I just showed up." He paused a second and added, "You didn't really think we'd let your birthday pass by without acknowledging it did you? I can't believe you're not more excited."

I rolled my eyes and went into the kitchen to hug and greet the others. True to his word Charlie had brought pizza for dinner, which disappeared so fast that he thought he had misplaced one. _He's obviously not used to feeding the pack…_ I thought to myself and laughed.

The cake was absolutely beautiful, and of course delicious. It was three tiers of chocolate decadence, iced pink with tiny red and white roses trimming the edges. The number '19' was piped repetitively around the sides of the bottom two tiers in white. While the top tier had 'Bella' piped in white twice separated on either side by more of the tiny roses. On top she had scribed 'Happy 19th Birthday Bella' and there were two candles a '1' and a '9'. I couldn't believe Emily had made it herself, and I expressed as much to her as I thanked her with my mouth full of cake and Jake's arm around my shoulder.

After overindulging on Emily's cake Jacob led me to a chair by the kitchen table that had been shoved to the side to make more room. I noticed for the millionth time just how big Jake and his all friends really were; the house was a little cramped under the strain of them. No one seemed to notice though, there were chairs in the corners; Charlie's chair had been pulled in closer. Quil and Embry were on the floor near the sink, Sam sat in one of the kitchen chairs near them and he pulled Emily gently onto his knee. Billy's wheelchair was in the doorway near Charlie's chair they were both smiling warmly. Paul and Jared were sneaking more cake while everybody else was distracted.

"Now for the good stuff," Jacob whispered mischievously as he pulled the chair out and gestured toward the table. I don't know how I hadn't noticed it before, but there were several wrapped packages on the table. I groaned inwardly. "Be a sport Bells," he warned as though reading my mind, and winked.

Jacob sat down in the chair and pulled me onto his lap. _Right in front of Charlie!_ I flushed fiercely and cringed, just waiting to hear Charlie start yelling. …Or at least cough or clear his throat… I chanced a glance in Charlie's direction and he was actually grinning at me as he sat talking with Billy. I felt Jacob chuckling at my reaction and felt myself flush further as I noticed that several of the others seemed amused as well.

Jacob grabbed the gifts one at a time and announced who they were from, before giving them to me to unwrap. Emily gave me a beautiful hand bound book of recipes that she said she just knew I would enjoy. Some of them were things we had prepared together at her house. "You made this?" I asked, looking at the intricately designed cover incredulously. She nodded. "You are amazing Emily… absolutely amazing."

It was her turn to blush as Sam wrapped his arms around her and agreed with me.

Charlie gave me a leather-bound set of books called, 'The Great American Classics'. Renee sent me a card with a gift card inside and instructed me to use it to buy more stuff for my scrapbook. She also sent me a copy of her favorite classical music CD. Embry and Quil gave me a T-shirt; it was blue and had a big wolf head on the front. Quil laughed as he pointed out where they'd had the words 'I run with wolves' airbrushed on the back.

Once we had opened all the packages on the table, Jacob plucked me up from his lap and placed me down on my feet in front of him as he stood up and reached into his pocket. He withdrew a small cloth bag with a drawstring closure and handed it to me. "I um kinda made it myself," he muttered looking at his feet.

"It's beautiful!" I said looking at the colorful little bag and wondering why he seemed so… awkward? …Self-conscious?

He smirked, "the present's inside the bag Bella…"

"Oh!" I felt silly. I pulled at the strings and opened the bag. I turned it on its side allowing the contents to slide out into the palm of my other hand; and there was a beautiful silver bracelet with a wooden charm dangling from it.

"I made the charm," he explained, "but I bought the bracelet."

I pulled the bracelet up to examine the charm more closely. "Oh Jake," I whispered in awe, "it really is gorgeous! You made this?" The charm was a tiny howling wolf, the detail was amazing – you could see its teeth and the lines from the fur.

"Just something Billy taught me, he's a lot better at it," he said. His eyes met mine and his face brightened immediately. "You really like it?" He asked taking it from me and fastening it around my wrist as I nodded.

"I love it!" I assured him, and I really did. I stood on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck. He lifted me gently and I kissed his cheek. "Thank you." I said sincerely. "Now put me down!" I urged a little more loudly.

He chuckled again but complied without a fuss.

Soon afterward everyone started leaving. Jacob stepped out into the front yard to say goodbye to Quil and Embry as I was taking my gifts up to my bedroom. They had helped move the furniture back before heading out. Emily had helped me clean up before she left with Sam. Charlie was sitting in front of the TV still talking to Billy. I decided to go ahead and take a shower while Jacob spoke with his friends.

I showered quickly and had just finished brushing my teeth when I heard Jacob come back inside. I heard him on the steps and met him inside my room. He took in my wet hair and pajamas and smiled mischievously.

"Hmmm… Looks like I should've got back in here a few minutes ago." He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me gruffly to him.

I giggled and swatted at him playfully. He squeezed me tighter and lifted me off the ground. My heart skipped a beat and without thinking I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. Jacob brought his lips crushing down on mine hungrily, almost brutally. My fingers twisted up in his hair and I pulled it gently as I returned his kiss with just as much hunger.

The sound of Charlie shuffling around in the kitchen jolted us back to reality. When we parted we were both gasping for air. _How could I do that with Charlie right downstairs? Jacob's ability to make the rest of the world fade away is going to end up getting me in trouble…_ I thought to myself while trying to calm my breathing.

"I gotta go… Billy's waiting, " Jacob said still sounding pretty breathless himself. "I'll call you tomorrow." He leaned in for a chaste kiss, "Happy birthday Bells," he smiled and left.

I heard him tell Charlie goodnight before the sound of the door closing. A minute later I heard Billy's voice call a final happy birthday toward my open window before Jacob helped him out of his chair and into the car.

I watched them pull away from my window. When they were out of sight I flipped off my light and slid under my quilt smiling. I couldn't help thinking about how much better this birthday turned out compared to the last one; and it was ultimately all because of Jacob Black. Not so much as a paper cut, much less any vampire attacks to survive. I fell asleep quickly and without any fear of nightmares.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 15

_Victoria_.

She hadn't plagued my mind in a long time… There was a time when she'd ruled my nightmares, but that time had long since passed. That was back before Edward left me. Then _he_ took over my nightmares, and it was starting to seem like now even his time was about up.

So **why**, after all this time is _hers_ the name on my lips when I was torn from sleep?

**Why** are her pale face, flaming orange hair, crimson eyes, and feline-like features so vivid in my mind's eye?

When I heard that faint snarl from the darkened corner of my room, _how did I know it was her?_

She pounced and was at me immediately, one hand over my mouth stopping my scream the other forcefully grasping a fistful of my hair. She leered at me and spoke quickly, her voice pitchy but menacing, "I can just take _you_… Or you can call for daddy and watch me have a little snack before we go." She smiled and looked at me expectantly as she lowered her hand from my mouth.

I knew she wasn't bluffing; I bit my lip as I met her gaze and nodded my understanding. I wouldn't endanger Charlie. The familiar voice in the back of my head rang in my ears. The voice that told me that this had been a long time coming… Ultimately it was my penance for trespassing into _his_ world. I should have known better than to think I could avoid it in the end. I would silently accept whatever she doled out to me and pray that she was true to her word and left Charlie alone when she was finished with me. I had caused him enough pain, this was the least I could do…

She let go of my hair but crawled onto the bed, straddling me, a pale hand on either side of my head. I bit down harder on my lip, I was trembling – she hovered inches above me on the bed. She dipped her face down to my throat and I gasped as her cold nose touched my flesh. She ran her nose up my throat and jaw, across my ear and into my hair, breathing in deeply. "Mmmm…" she purred at my ear, "you _do_ smell _especially_ ravishing dear sweet Bella."

My heart was pounding in my chest. I shrank into the mattress, trying to put as much space between us as possible. She ran her cold tongue across my cheek and I shuddered in revulsion, wishing she would just get it over with. She laughed softly and pulled herself up into a sitting position smirking and licking her pale lips.

"We have to be going sweet Bella," she said to my surprise. She saw my confused expression and smiled softly, her face looking almost gentle for a second. She took my hand into her icy one and pulled me, firmly but gently, to my feet. She leaned down to me, her face inches from my own, her eyes never leaving mine and whispered, "I won't have time to do all the _wonderful_ things I have planned for you if we stay here."

I stiffened, my body flooded with fear. My breath was ragged and my knees felt weak. My chest throbbed with each beat of my pounding heart. I realized then that she wasn't just going to kill me; she was going to kill me slowly, making sure it was painful, avenging James' death through me.

She wrapped her arm around my shoulders, still holding my hand in her other, "Your puppy friends will be here soon, but don't worry my dear Bella I know just the place for us." Her eyes held mine; I could not look away. "We'll have all the time in the world…. Just you… And me…"

I had never been more terrified in my life; not even with James in the dance studio back in Phoenix. I remembered Laurent's words in the meadow, when he had spoken of Victoria, _"…fair turn-about, mate for mate"_ and he'd even said, _"…if you knew what she had planned for you, Bella… I swear you'd be thanking me for this."_ I thought of the Cullens, and was angry again at Edward… _had he only loved me enough to change me Victoria wouldn't be the threat to me that she was._ My thoughts turned to Charlie in the next room; he was sleeping, blissfully unaware of the monster in his home and the terror unfolding mere feet from where he lie snoring.

I decided then that it was good that she was going to take me somewhere else to kill me, that way Charlie wouldn't have to wake up to find my body in my bedroom; I'm sure he'd end up feeling some sick sense of responsibility.

Then I thought of Jacob. I had known he was too good for me, and life was simply confirming that to me now in the most horrifying and permanent of ways. I knew that he would be heartbroken, but I hoped he would heal quickly and find someone truly deserving of the warm, loving man he was beneath his gruff, bad-boy exterior. The man I had grown to love.

In the distance, I vaguely recognized the sound of a wolf howling. She released my gaze with a sudden jerk of her head and I heard the second howl more distinctly. The next howl came from much closer than the 1st two and definitely sounded like it came from a different wolf. I glanced quickly out the window toward the sounds. My eyes fell on my clock as I looked back to Victoria. 10:50 the digital display read, I could help but choke on an irrepressible laugh, _so much for a birthday without a vampire attack._

She was still smirking but she was obviously feeling less relaxed. She eyed me curiously as the muffled noise left my throat. Then she whispered, "Time to go." She swept me up into her arms and strode to the window, "We're going to have so much fun together sweet Bella." She jumped gracefully from the window landing soundlessly in the front yard. She stood frozen for a moment her eyes closed as she inhaled deeply. I assumed she was trying to 'sniff out' the best way to go. She shifted me in her arms and threw me across her rock hard shoulder before she set off running into the woods and in the opposite direction from La Push.

As she ran I found myself being slapped in the arms and feet by twigs and branches, I couldn't see her face but I knew it was no accident. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the stinging pain. I felt an especially searing sting and she flinched as I felt the trickle of blood start down my forearm.

I had no idea how long she had run or how far we had gone. Every few minutes I heard the sound of a wolf howling, but they all sounded far away.

The sound brought me no hope at all; in fact I prayed they didn't find me. I couldn't handle having any of their blood on my hands.

She finally stopped and stood me on my feet. She opened the door of a run down old cabin, that appeared to have been abandoned long ago, and led me in by a fistful of my hair. She closed the door behind us and forcibly yanked me around to face her. Her eyes were black with thirst and they held my gaze captive as she spoke, "I was worried, Laurent never came back. I went to their house. I saw they were gone. I was afraid I was too late, that they had taken you and run; but lucky me, they left their little pet behind. He'll still know. He'll hear about it and he'll know. You were his mate at the time… I only hope he remains fond of you, I'd hate to think my efforts were completely in vain."

She brought her free hand up to caress my cheek. Her icy skin was smooth as silk. I watched her expression change then from gentle almost loving to furious and hostile. "So quiet little Bella, have you really nothing to say? No begging for mercy or crying for your wolf friends?"

I shook my head and tried to look away. She chuckled darkly and threw me by the hair towards the far wall. My head and back hurt as I tried to stand. I heard her approaching me and looked up to see the gleeful expression on her face.

"**Now** you can scream Bella," her laughter struck me as evil.

I sat in my spot, amongst the pile of drywall that had been knocked lose from the wall when my body slammed into it, and looked up at her defiantly. She was going to kill me. I knew that – accepted it, and yes I was scared… terrified… But I wasn't going to scream. I wasn't going to beg for my life – I would not give her that pleasure. Should she encounter Edward at some point later he would not see me like that.

She lifted me into the air like I was nothing and threw me into the doorframe. My head bounced off the molding so hard my teeth snapped. I saw little lights flash behind my eyes and the gut-wrenching smell of blood thickened. I reached up awkwardly to feel the back of my head and immediately encountered the painful stickiness of blood seeping into my hair.

I heard her snarl, _perhaps the smell of my blood would be too much for her to resist and she would kill me quickly after all,_ I thought. I felt her right in front of me. I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. I felt her inches from my face, felt the pressure on my throat… The room shifted… The air stilled was silent…and everything went black…


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 16

****Jacob's PoV****

I couldn't wipe the stupid grin off my face the whole way home. Dad tried talking to me, but I just couldn't pay attention to him. He finally figured that out and mumbled some shit about 'puppy love' and turned up the radio in resignation.

I just couldn't stop thinkin' about Bella. The way she'd been kissing me lately… Hell, the way we'd practically had sex with our clothes on the other night. _Wow._ And I really think if I had tried… She would've… _Whoa._ I shook my head trying to clear the images that relentlessly flashed behind my eyes. I'd accumulated more than my fair share of 'Bella fantasies' over the years. There was no shortage of ways I've imagined making her mine – in the one way that the bloodsucker never could.

I knew I'd be her first, and I wanted to make sure that when it happened; I was becoming more and more sure that it was a when and not an if. I wanted it to be on her terms – no room for regrets. And her um …unexpected reactions? …sudden feistiness? Huh… Whatever ya call it, the last several times I'd made a move on her or even just gone to kiss her she had been all into it – hot and heavy even. Threw my ass for a loop at first. It was a sweet loop mind you, but still… She was really testing my resolve, and I couldn't pretend like I had a whole lot of it in the first place. Yep, I couldn't help but grin even wider; my little Bella was a firecracker.

In all honesty I wasn't 'technically' any less a virgin than she was, but like it or not the pack shared their thoughts on EVERYTHING. With all the guys and their imprints and their girlfriends, I'd been exposed to more sex than some porn stars. We usually tried not to think about that kind of stuff in wolf form, but sometimes ya can't help it. And when they'd go to sleep in wolf form… Ugh.

I parked in front of the house and helped my dad into his wheelchair. I pushed him into the house and just as I turned to close the door behind me, I heard Sam's howl; something was up. I kicked my shoes and socks off inside the house and was peeling my shirt off as I walked outside, _'no sense destroying any more clothes than necessary,'_ I thought to myself tossing the shirt onto my car and running for the woods to finish undressing and phase.

'_How did she know? Jake's gonna shit! I thought she was gone for good. It's been so long... She's going after Bella now? We gotta find her! Why now?!'_ The voices of the others, panic stricken it seemed, filled my mind immediately as I phased into my wolf form. '_What's going on?_' I asked them, and then _'Why am I gonna shit?_' I was running toward them.

Quil summed it all up for me with a single silent word, '_Victoria,_' a growl erupted from deep within my chest and immediately their thoughts filled me in on the details. Apparently she had crossed through while we were all at the party, and her scent seemed to lead to the Cullen's old place and from there straight to Bella's. I snarled, _'If she hurts one hair on Bella's head I'll rip that bloodsucking vamp bitch into so many pieces….'_

'_Jacob_…' Sam's voice warned, '_Bella will be fine, meet us in the woods behind her house. We're following Victoria's scent in that direction_.'

I let loose with a howl and took off. I dug my nails into the ground and pushed myself forward, propelling myself as fast as I could possibly run. I just kept chanting 'gotta get to Bella, gotta get to Bella, gotta get to Bella,' over and over in my head. I refused to think about being too late. I tried not to think about anything at all.

I had no intention of letting her go without a fight. Not to Edward Cullen and his coven of leaches, or to that numb nuts Mike Newton from her school, and damn sure not to some red headed bloodsucking parasite that was hell bent on avenging some other bloodsucking parasite that tried to kill Bella back in Phoenix and got shredded by Clan Cullen.

I snorted as the sickly sweet stench of vampire bombarded my senses as I neared Bella's house. I didn't know how Victoria had done it. Either she had been watching us all along waiting for the first chance she got when our defenses were down or if she was blessed with the best dumb luck ever heard of - and I wasn't buyin' the dumb luck story. Tonight had been the 1st night we had skipped on patrols since this whole vampire mess started. The Cullens had moved on, and none of the young ones had shown any signs of transformation. Things had seemed to be settling down. We hadn't caught any sign or scent of a bloodsucker in months, well other than Edward's brief cameo. She had to have been holed up somewhere patiently watching… …and waiting.

I joined my brothers just inside the woods behind Bella's house. I had been so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I had actually not noticed theirs until I took my place at Sam's right hand. _'She's gone – Charlie's alone in the house,'_ Sam announced silently.

I turned on Paul and Jared baring my teeth and growling ferociously when I heard their thoughts immediately presuming the worst. _'We are NOT too late,'_ I took a step toward them mid-growl.

"_Jacob…"_ Sam's alpha voice rang through my head.

'_Trail's really fresh though – they're not very far ahead. 'Least not yet,'_ Quil offered, gently trying to help me regain my focus.

I stopped growling at Paul and Jared and dropped my head, not wanting to be responsible for delaying our next move. We had to get to Bella before Red had a chance to hurt her; that made every minute count. I let loose another howl hoping that if Bella could hear me she'd know we were coming.

We decided to split into two groups to cover more ground in less time. Quil and Embry were on my flanks and Paul and Jared took their places on either side of Sam. Based on her trail she had run all around the damn woods, doubling back on herself countless times. She knew we'd be on her six, but where the hell did she go?

It seemed like we'd been running in circles for an hour, I'm sure it was no more than a few minutes in reality, but it seemed like so much longer… When Embry howled from nearby and started running east. _'Got her,'_ he thought _'Bloodsucker Bar-B-Q anyone?'_

I bolted after him and heard Quil right at my heels; Sam and the others were on an intercept course with us. I'd picked up the trail Embry found and was running with everything I was worth. We hooked up with the others a little over a mile out and continued on following the stench. I could smell Bella too, the scent of strawberries and something flowery – it was the most amaz-…

'_Focus Jacob,'_ Sam's voice interrupted my thoughts. I huffed and spirited myself forward with a growing determination. We finally came to a rundown old shack, and there was no question that they were inside. I felt a low growl rumble through my chest. '_You three take the front; we'll go around the back. Wait for my signal…'_ Sam instructed us silently.

They swept around wide to the rear of the dilapidated structure as we crept quietly toward the front. _'I got the window,'_ Quil signaled and veered his course toward the single pane of framed glass that stood a couple of feet away from the front door.

As we drew closer to the abandoned looking building I could hear the bloodsucking bimbo inside. "**Now** you can scream Bella," the parasite said in her nails-on-a-chalkboard high-pitched whiny voice, and she started laughing like a crazy bitch. The relief that went through me in that second… When I realized that we really weren't too late… That Bella was still alive… It only lasted about a second though, because then we heard a crash from inside. I could smell blood, and I knew it had to be Bella's.

Rage and terror had been brewing inside of me since I'd left my house, and they exploded right then. Mentally I screamed '_Nooooo!_' as I flung myself through the front door. Quil crashed through the window at the exact same time and Embry was right there with me. Sam had come through the back door and now Paul was blocking the back door and Jared had come around to cover the front. This bloodsucker wasn't gonna make it out of here today, that much was obvious. I snarled at her fiercely and took a step toward her; that's when I _really_ saw the stinking red headed leach, and realized that she was bent over Bella's limp body.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 17

****Jacob's PoV** Cont.**

I growled so deeply that you could feel the rumble in the wooden floor beneath us. My blood boiled, so much so that everything I saw appeared to be tinted red. That bitch had Bella's blood smeared across her pale face. She dropped Bella as soon as she took in what was happening, her eyes darting rapidly from wolf to wolf and to the doors. My thoughts lingered for a moment on just how lifelessly Bella's body had fallen to the floor.

Victoria's eyes locked with mine for a split second and Sam claimed that moment as his. He pounced on her from behind, his teeth ripping through her stony flesh. She turned toward him trying to fight him off; and I sprang at her, tearing chunks of flesh from her body, trying to get at her throat. Quil was quick to follow suit, as was Embry; ripping and tearing at the shrieking creature. It didn't take long to pulverize the bloodsucking leach to a pile of putrid parts.

Once it was obvious that we had the vamp under control Paul and Jared phased back to their human forms. Paul set about building a fire to burn the stinking bloodsucker's remains, while Jared cautiously made his way toward Bella. IF she wasn't dead… We didn't really know anything about the transformation process of bloodsuckers. We didn't know what to expect. _Was it instant? Did it hurt? What were the symptoms?_

As soon as we'd mutilated Victoria's long dead corpse into a million pieces I scrambled over to where Jared was nervously peering at Bella; leaving the others to throw the pieces into the fire. I pushed Jared aside with my snout and started looking Bella's bruised and battered body over for any signs of bite marks. I shifted back to my human form in order to have use of my hands to examine her more closely. I was gentle with her, but not fearful like Jared seemed to be. _That's ok; better my hands on her than his anyway…_

I immediately noticed that her alabaster skin was warm, her heart was beating, and she smelled awesome err… like Bella, already more than I'd dared to hope for once I saw the bloodsucker bent over her body when we first burst in. I couldn't see anything that resembled the telltale bite marks other than the old, cold, silvery scar on her wrist. She had a bunch of little scrapes and cuts on her arms, feet and face, the smell of blood seemed to primarily come from her busted head. Relief bloomed in my chest as I realized she was alive and apparently unbroken. I quickly donned my cutoffs, slid one arm under her knees, the other behind her back, and gently gathered her into my arms. She groaned softly and I pressed my lips to her damp forehead and whispered soothing reassurances into her ear.

I carried Bella outside. By now the others were finished disposing of the parasite's pieces and they were mulling around outside stealing glances at Bella and congratulating each other on their parts in the fight.

Sam approached, his questioning eyes darting from Bella's face to mine. "How's she doing?" he asked, taking her hand in his own and checking her pulse.

"Seems ok I think," I replied, "I couldn't find any bite marks on her, but it looks like she took one helluva whack on the head." I turned my upper body angling Bella so that Sam could easily see her head.

He cringed as he saw her bloody, matted hair and what looked like exposed bone on the crown of her head. "You should have that checked out," he offered, "she'll probably need it stitched up."

I nodded in agreement, "yeah I was thinkin' I should take her to the ER... but um… What do we tell Charlie? The hospital… They're gonna call him."

Sam thought for a minute, silently staring past me into the woods. "Well," he sighed deeply, "the truth is obviously out of the question. Then there's the fact that it's after midnight and as far as Charlie knows she's in bed asleep. There's a good chance that any story we come up with is gonna get her in trouble. What do you think we should tell him?"

I cursed under my breath, I hadn't thought about that. I mean there's no question, Bella grounded beats Bella dead hands down; but she hadn't done anything wrong – other than getting mixed up with those damn leaches in the first place. She stirred and groaned in my arms, her eyelids fluttering as she fought to regain consciousness.

I bent my head down to hers kissing her forehead gently and deeply inhaling her sweet scent. She seemed so fragile right then; bruised, bleeding and curled up against my chest. I felt another surge of anger towards Edward Cullen for exposing her to the nightmares of _his_ world. I swept a damp lock of hair from her face tucked it behind her ear and pulled her tighter into my arms; she stilled and seemed to rest peacefully.

Sam walked with me as I carried Bella towards the hospital. Quill and Embry had run ahead to get my car; we were walking just beyond the line of trees alongside the road. Paul and Jared had run off to let Emily know what was going on and set the stage for our excuse to Charlie. Embry had been the one to come up with the story; he spouted it out as soon as we'd finished telling him our dilemma. Not only was that mo-fo devious he was quick. I was hoping Bella would wake up so we could clue her in on the story before she was questioned too much. If everything worked out according to plan she shouldn't get into trouble at all. A hopeful smile tugged at the corners of my lips and I bent down and kissed her hair being careful to avoid the open wound on her head.

A lone set of headlights came into view and the familiar sound of my Rabbit reached our ears. Quil pulled the car over and Embry helped me lay Bella in the backseat. Sam and Embry phased and headed back to help Jared and Paul while Quil slid into the passenger seat and we set off toward the hospital.

By the time we reached the hospital it was after 1. Bella was taken into an exam room and Quil and I settled into chairs in the waiting room. I must have dozed off, but was startled awake when Chief Swan came busting through the Emergency Room doors with Sam and Embry. He came directly to me and had a strange look on his face.

"Jake," he started, "I know you never meant for her to get hurt… well, in fact I… I suppose it was damn cute idea, but if she's really hurt…" his voice trailed off.

I glanced away from his penetrating gaze hoping I looked guilty and trying not to smile. He'd apparently bought our story hook, line and sinker. I shouldn't be surprised; it _was_ pretty ingenious. Jared had brought my old boom box and set it outside of Bella's window, he'd opened her window wide to make it seem as though she had been at it. They'd even kicked loose a couple pieces of siding on the house under her window from the 'impact', They then ran to the front door yelling and knocking furiously loud in order to wake up the chief. When he had groggily answered the door they told him that I had come back to serenade Bella as a final birthday gift and she had fallen out of the window and busted her head. They said that when I saw the blood I threw her in my car and raced her to the hospital and had them alert him. Bella's clumsiness made it pretty hard for him to question her 'accidents.' No reason for Bella to get in any trouble at all.

"She'll be ok Charlie," I reassured him with a hand on his shoulder, "but I'll never do anything like that again just to be safe." He walked over to the front desk and asked after his daughter while I exchanged conspiratorial grins with the guys. Charlie was ushered behind the big double doors as my brothers joined me in the waiting room.

Half an hour later Charlie was back waiting with us, they had cleaned her wounds and were stitching her head up now. She hadn't woke up while Charlie was with her but the doctors had assured him that she was going to be fine. They anticipated her being back home before the day was out.

Upon hearing this news and knowing Bella was in fact going to be ok Sam, Jared and Paul set off back to La Push. Sam offered to update Billy and let him know that I'd be home when I had Bella safe in her own bed again. I walked them out front leaving Quil and Embry both snoring in their seats in the waiting room.

When I got back inside I realized Charlie was gone so I sat back down near Quil and Embry and propped my feet up in the chair in front of me. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes thinking about Bella. When I opened my eyes again Charlie was sitting in the chair next to the one I had my feet propped up in.

"Hey," he greeted, seeming much more relaxed than earlier.

"Hey Chief," I returned stiffly straightening in my chair, "how's our girl?"

He turned to me looking exhausted; the clock overhead said it was almost 4am. "They said she's fine, they're gonna discharge her soon after she wakes up," he answered with a warm smile.

I smiled back and stretched, "I wonder if they'll let me see her?"

"I don't see why not," Charlie replied, and we both rose and walked to the front desk.

We were buzzed into the patient care area and Charlie led the way to Bella's bed. We walked past a nurse's station and rounded a corner before Charlie paused outside of a room. He gestured for me to step in ahead of him and then mumbled something about finding a vending machine before turning on his heel and walking off.

I sat down on a padded chair next to Bella's bed and stared down into her peaceful face. I was again struck by how delicate and fragile she looked. The hospital bed dwarfed her tiny frame. Her face was covered in tiny cuts and scratches and she looked a little paler than usual, but she was still so damn beautiful…

I reached down to gently trace the lines of her jaw with my thumb. She sighed as my skin touched hers, and her eyes fluttered again, this time her lids parted and she squinted up at me uncertainly. _Adorable._ She blinked a couple of times before her eyes met mine – and when they did, her smile was bright and immediate. My heart soared to see her smile like that.

"Hey you," I whispered smiling down at her, "about time you woke up."

She gingerly brought her hand to my face caressing my cheek and cupping my chin tenderly. Her tiny hand felt so cool and smooth against my skin, I didn't want her to ever move it. "How many times can you save my life Jacob Black?" Her voice was dry, coarse, and not much more than a whisper. But her eyes… She was looking up at me, and those bright chocolate orbs of hers were burning holes into my very soul.

I leaned my face down to hers, my lips right next to her ear. "Every time Isabella Swan," I made it a point to exhale more than necessary, remembering how she was affected by my warm breath on her neck and ear. I couldn't help but smile when I noticed her heart monitor start beeping faster. I brushed my lips across her ear and felt her shudder, "you're not getting away from me that easily." I pulled back and kissed the tip of her nose before standing up and heading for the door, "I'm gonna go find Charlie – he'll be glad to see that you're awake."

"Umm Jake?" she started slowly just as I got to the door, "did you _tell_ Charlie?" Her eyes were widened in horror at the idea of Charlie knowing about vampires and werewolves.

"Shit. Huh. I almost forgot." I laughed at myself. I explained the whole cover story and she playfully punched me in the arm saying the whole serenade thing gave me 'far too much credit'. We laughed as though we hadn't just been through a nightmare. It was nice; I could tell she was tired though. I wanted to make sure Charlie got a chance to see her before she zonked out again, so I went off to find him.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 18

Sixteen stitches and twenty-four hours of observation later I finally got to leave the hospital. Charlie was surprisingly nonchalant about the entire ordeal. I guess the idea of Jake singing to me from outside of my bedroom window didn't seem as far fetched to him as it did to me and anybody else that really knew Jake; although it could've just been the fact that me falling out of the window was believable enough to forego any other potential doubts.

The next several weeks passed by uneventfully. If I wasn't at school or working at Newton's I was either in La Push with Jacob or hanging out at Charlie's with Jacob. I knew our relationship had changed, I couldn't even pretend like he was just my best friend anymore. He _was_ still my best friend of course, but he had become so very much more than that.

Midterms and the holidays came and went. Charlie had taken to bringing up college every time we sat down together. I really hadn't thought much about college. I didn't want to leave Forks. I applied at University of Washington and Seattle University and refused to even fill out any other applications.

It was late February when Charlie burst into the kitchen where Jake and I were sitting. He seemed excited when he plopped into a kitchen chair with a huff and slid a thick manila envelope in front of me. I glanced up and saw the return address: University of WA. I shoved the envelope to the middle of the table before getting up and heading to the refrigerator busying myself with dinner preparations.

"Come on Bella," urged Charlie, "Open it. I think the thick ones are acceptances." His fingers danced along the envelope, pushing it forth and back across the table.

I turned and rolled my eyes at Charlie. Jacob picked up the envelope and walked over to the sink to stand next to me. Part of me was hoping that he was going to shred the envelope and its contents before turning on Charlie and telling him that there was no way I was leaving him, not even for a college education.

I heard the sound of tearing paper and my eyes darted to the now open envelope he held in his hands. He held it out to me with the faintest of smiles playing at his lips. "You wanna read it or do I have to read it to you?" he asked.

I sighed and turned back to the stove putting the lid on the pan of simmering pasta sauce.

He pulled a stack of papers out of the envelope and cleared his throat, "Isabella Swan, hey that's you." He teased. "This letter is to congratulate you on your acceptance to the University of Washington…"

He couldn't read beyond that because Charlie was hooting and hollering and dancing around the kitchen. Jacob gave up trying to read over him and reached down to brush his lips against my cheek with a whispered, "congratulations."

I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. He didn't even care. It didn't matter to him at all that I was going to leave. Sure it was closer than a lot of other colleges, but I would be limited to trips home on the weekends and holidays. We wouldn't be able to see each other nearly as often as we had become accustomed to. My heart was breaking at the idea of being away from him – and he didn't care at all.

I slapped the potholder that I had been holding onto the cabinet and ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs to my room slamming and locking the door behind me. I threw myself onto my bed screaming into my pillow as the tears poured freely.

Charlie knocked on my door a few minutes later, calling out to me softly. I ignored him burying my face in my pillow. Several minutes later he gave up and I heard him trudge back down the stairs. Soon after there was another knock on my door, this time it was Jacob.

"Bella," he called through the door, "honey what's wrong?" he cooed. "Please open the door and talk to me." He waited to see if I was going to oblige and I heard his deep sigh. "Bells please," he begged.

I ignored him. If he was so ok with not seeing me while I was away at college why would it matter so much for him to see me now? I wondered.

"Bella!" Jake called from the other side of the door, his voice louder now. "Open the god damn door NOW. If you won't open it I will," he threatened. I heard Charlie yell something about not breaking the door before I heard Jacob stomp down the stairs.

Several minutes later Jake was back at the door. "Bells," he called, his voice seeming calm again. "Bella please, open the door."

I curled up in my bed and refused to move.

I heard faint noises coming from just outside my door, almost a scraping sound. I raised my head from my pillow to look at the door just in time to see my doorknob fall to the floor with a clatter and russet fingers slip through the hole where it had once been. My door swung wide open and there stood Jacob, holding a screwdriver and looking quite pleased with himself.

I stared at him totally bewildered as he dropped the screwdriver and two screws on my desk before walking over and sitting on the edge of my bed. He looked confused when he took my chin in his hand and turned my head to force me to look him in the eye.

"What the hell was that all about?" he asked softly. He wiped the tears from my face with the back of his other hand. His eyes were filled with questions as he searched mine for some hint to the reasoning behind my outburst.

I tried to look away, suddenly feeling silly, but he wouldn't let me.

"Bells… damn it TALK to me… PLEASE," he begged.

I closed my eyes and swallowed, trying to bring my ragged breathing under control. I opened my eyes and looked into his burning dark orbs and I just couldn't find any words.

"This has something to do with you going off to school?" he asked.

I nodded.

"OK… What?" he asked.

"I… I don't want to go." I squeaked, sounding like a child resisting againt being coaxed into a dentist's office.

"Where DO you want to go?" Jake asked.

I closed my eyes again and took a deep breath, "Nowhere," I replied, barely above a whisper.

I peeked out from under my lashes, Jake looked dumbstruck. "What do you mean nowhere? Bells… babe you have to go to college, you KNOW that."

I could feel fresh tears stinging my eyes as I shook my head. "Jacob…" I started and drew in a deep breath, "I can't… I mean being away from you… I just can't." I could feel the pleading in my eyes when I met his again. He was smiling.

"Is that all?" he asked.

"What do you mean is that _ALL_? Isn't it enough? I mean… Ok so maybe it doesn't bother you so much… Maybe you're looking forward to the break… Only seeing me on weekends and holidays… But I don't think I can handle that." The tears were spilling down my cheeks again; I just didn't have the energy to hold them back any more.

He pressed his warm lips to my forehead and stood up reaching into his back pocket. He pulled out a piece of paper folded in quarters. He proceeded to unfold it and hand it to me. At first I had no idea what I was looking at…

"You got your GED?" I asked, puzzled. "When did you do that?"

"Took the test a few months ago," he said proudly, "Kind of expected to fail it at least once, I guess the study sessions we used to have helped."

"That's great Jake! Really. But… I don't understand what this actually has to do with anything."

His smile grew bigger, "I applied at U of W also, got my acceptance letter last week," he explained, a spark igniting in his eyes. "I'll ultimately be there one semester longer than you, I have some extra classes I have to take since I went the GED route instead of the high school route, but still..."

I was confused. He said he had applied also? And been accepted? Huh?

Jacob laughed, probably at the lost expression on my face. "Bells, I'm going WITH you," he explained.

"Really?" I asked afraid to be happy until I was sure I understood what he was saying.

"Really," he replied, his smile – my smile, lit up his entire face.

"Oh my god Jake that's wonderful!" I cried jumping up from my bed and throwing my arms around his waist and hugging him tight.

"I guess I should have told you sooner, but I didn't want to say anything until I was sure." He hugged me tight against his strong chest, "Surely you didn't think I was just gonna sit here and watch you leave? I kind of thought maybe with us both working part-time maybe we could get an apartment off campus or something?"

"That would be great!" I cried burying my face into his shirt. "We can start looking this weekend!"

He kissed the top of my head and pulled me away from in order to meet my eye. "As long as it took for me to get ahold of you, you have to know that I have no intention of letting you out of my sight any time soon. I can't believe you thought I would."

"I've been dreading this…" I told him, "ALL of it, graduation going away to college… I felt like everyday just brought us one step closer to goodbye."

"Silly Bella," he chuckled, "it'll take a helluva lot more than you going to college to save you from me."

"Good," I said nuzzling against him, "I don't think I want to be saved."


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 19

"It's beautiful," I whispered into Jacob's ear clutching him by the waist and pulling myself as close to him as possible.

He smiled down at me and nodded his head in agreement before pressing his lips to my forehead. He winked at me before prying himself away from my grip and strolling over to the realtor.

We had been driving out to Seattle every weekend looking at houses and apartments. It still felt more like a dream than reality to me, Jacob and I out house hunting for our 1st place. I couldn't keep the silly grin off my face. My heart felt so full…

We'd made six previous trips and the only places that we had found were either out of our price range, too far from the school, or just run down and decrepit. It would have been frustrating, if we didn't always have so much fun. I couldn't imagine being frustrated about spending time with Jake. We'd head out around 7 and not get back home until midnight or after. Jacob had taken to spending Saturday nights at Charlie's. He slept on the couch, but it was nice just knowing he was so close.

This particular apartment was just four blocks from campus, and while the building itself was worn and weathered the interior was beautiful. It was wide open with high ceilings; there was a bar that separated the living room from the kitchen and a balcony that overlooked the pool.

I wandered around imagining how it would look with our stuff in it. _Our stuff…_ My smile grew. _Our place_… My cheeks hurt, but I couldn't stop myself. I found myself in the bedroom, the only bedroom… Although Jacob had pointed out that it was big enough for both of our beds as well as our dressers. He was right of course, the bedroom was _ENORMOUS_ the bathroom had a door that led into the bedroom on one wall and one that led out to the rest of the house on the other.

As I walked through the bathroom I heard the muffled voices of Jacob and the realtor. I couldn't hear them clearly, but I heard something about security deposits and moving in August 1st. I brought my hands up to mouth and actually bit myself on the palm to avoid screaming. I felt like doing a dance. I reminded myself that I didn't really know anything yet and when I regained my composure I walked out to join Jacob. He was shaking hands with the realtor by the time I got there; they were both smiling.

Jacob wrapped his arm around my shoulder and guided me toward the door. I was gazing up at him curiously as we stopped just before walking out. He looked behind us at the empty apartment and then down at me, a huge grin spreading across his face. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "welcome home Bells."

"Really?" I asked in disbelief, "You mean it?" He nodded and I squealed and bounced up throwing my arms around his neck. He chuckled and carried me out and to the car.

"And with that outta the way you can focus all of your attentions on me," he smirked. "Well and maybe studying for your finals," he added as an afterthought.

We stopped at McDonalds for dinner and toasted finding our new home with chocolate milkshakes. I thought about how much I loved the simplicity of being with Jacob. I thought about how much I loved him, and I thought Charlie just might kill him when he found out our apartment only had one bedroom.

He laughed when I mentioned it to him as we were pulling out of the parking lot on our way back to Forks. "Ya know Bells," he said still chuckling, "it's a good thing Charlie gives _me_ more credit than _you_ give _him_."

_Huh?_ My forehead creased as my brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"Come on Bells…" never pausing in his laughter, "you've slept at my house, I've slept at your house. You're nineteen, I'm almost eighteen… he's not an idiot… In fact he practically refuses to believe that we're not already um… active – says he respects that I won't kiss and tell."

I felt the blood rush to my face as I gasped. I couldn't manage more than a whisper when I said, "YOU'VE talked to Charlie… About… SEX? Oh. My. God." I wanted to sink through the seat and disappear forever.

Jacob laughed harder when he saw my reaction to his revelation. "Seriously Bells, I'd think you could be a little more mature about this. He's your dad; he wants us to _be safe_ and _be careful_ and all that stuff. He LOVES me," he winked, "he loves you too of course, he said he was afraid you'd be uncomfortable talkin' to him. You know… You bein' a girl and all." His grin was huge and he kept stealing glances at me out of the corner of his eye.

My entire head was crimson; I could feel the blood burn my ears as well as my cheeks. My jaw was slack and I was staring at him in shock and embarrassment. _Did Jacob Black just insinuate that **I **was being immature?_ I was speechless. Finally I gave up my attempt at finding words. I slunk down in my seat with my arms crossed against my chest staring out the window indignantly. I felt like an idiot, but I couldn't believe that _Charlie_ and _Jacob_ had had a conversation about _my_ sex life. I couldn't believe Charlie thought Jake and I were having sex!

* * *

We spent Spring Break in La Push; Charlie came out several times to attend a cookout or watch a game with Billy. I stayed at Jake's house. Most nights we fell asleep curled up on the couch talking and watching television, although one night I fell asleep on the beach and woke up the next morning in his bed.

We spent one entire day and night out on First Beach with Ben, Angela, Mike and Jessica. Ben and Angela were both going to be attending UCLA next year, and both Mike and Jess were planning on going to Seattle U. We promised to get together when we were home for the holidays. The previous tension between Mike and Jacob was gone, and I was very glad to see that. The sun was up by the time we waved them off and walked back to Jake's.

As soon as classes resumed I threw myself into studying for final exams. Jacob spent a lot of time at Charlie's. He'd be there waiting for me when I got home from school and he'd help me study, he even made me flash cards. He helped with dinner and even with the clean up so we could spend a little bit of time on the couch watching TV with Charlie or out back talking and staring up at the stars.

It was on one such evening when we were lying on the blanket in the back yard, Jacob rolled onto his side with an uncertainty in his eye that I wasn't used to seeing. "Bells," he started, he appeared to be struggling with words, "am I s'posed to ask you to prom?"

"What?" I asked in disbelief. _Where did that come from?_

"What I mean is… Do you want to go to your prom? Do you want me to take you?"

I laughed. "Jacob, I don't _DO_ dances."

His uncertain look remained, "its just that… I mean you went with… err ya know… You went last year."

I laughed again. "Last year I was kidnapped, dressed and dolled up by Alice and Rosalie and practically dragged in against my will by Edward. I was only working with one leg at the time… remember? I couldn't exactly run away."

He smiled weakly, "I remember you _looked_ beautiful," his voice was wistful.

"Yeah well if it's all the same to you I'd just as soon skip on the whole 'one last chance for me to make a fool of myself in front of Forks High.' It's enough to walk across the cafeteria every day without falling on my face," I added with another round of laughter.

He seemed to visibly relax as he joined in my laughter.

It wasn't until later, after Jacob had gone home and I was lying in bed that I realized that I had spoke of _them_ Alice, Rosalie and _Edward Cullen_ and not felt the slightest twinge of pain. I had remembered the events of last year's prom clearly and been able to laugh at them. _Wow_, I thought as I drifted off to sleep, _I guess Edward hadn't been completely wrong after all…_

* * *

Finals were finished. I aced them. Prom night came and went, Jacob and I ordered pizza and had a movie fest at his house with several guys from the pack and their girlfriends. We spent the entire night snuggled up on the couch stealing kisses during the dimmer scenes. _Way better than any ole dance._

Graduation rolled around and I couldn't believe it when my name was called. Renee' and Phil, Charlie, Billy, Jake and the entire pack, significant others included, all jumped up screaming and cheering. I'm pretty sure I had the biggest cheering section of our graduating class. My face went bright red when I heard and saw them all. They had a celebration bonfire for me in La Push that night. Everybody was there and spent the entire night congratulating me.

I got the realtor information from Jacob and without his knowing I called and made arrangements to get the keys to our apartment two weeks earlier than originally planned. I had conspired with Emily and I wanted to surprise Jake by having it ready when we got there.

Jacob was incredibly busy that summer. He'd started doing repair work on cars in his makeshift garage. At first it was just people he knew but word spread that he was fair and honest and the next thing he knew he was working four and five days a week. He hated not being able to be with me as much, but like he said he couldn't exactly turn the money down. He even started talking about looking for a job as a part-time mechanic once we got settled in Seattle.

I hung out in his garage with him some days, but found that his distraction worked well to hide the shopping trips Emily and I were taking. If Jake was working on a car and I wasn't with him or working at Newton's Emily and I were out shopping. We had a blast scouring through thrift stores, antique shops and second hand stores. She had a great eye and tons of ideas, I was so glad I had her help.

I had given Mrs. Newton my resignation back in May so that she could find and I could help her train my replacement. My last day at the store she presented me with a cake that said 'Best Wishes Bella.' She teared up and hugged me tight before handing me an envelope. I noticed that it was the same kind of envelope that our paychecks came in. I opened the envelope and gasped.

"Mrs. Newton, I… I can't possibly…" I was flabbergasted. It was a check for $5000.

"You can and you will and that's final." She cut in. "Call it a bonus." She hugged me again and went off to check on Amber, my replacement without even giving me a chance to thank her. _Wow…_

I got the keys to the apartment on the 18th of July. Emily and I set to work that very day. We painted the entire apartment that weekend. We left the windows cracked to help dispel the paint smell while we were gone. I'd rented a storage unit to house the furniture and other items I'd purchased over time for the house in order to prevent Jacob from seeing them.

We got everything set up and still had a couple of days before we were really 'scheduled' to move in. I couldn't thank Emily enough. I had managed to furnish the entire apartment without taking anything from Charlie or Billy's house. Almost everything was second hand, but the décor was warm and comfortable, _just like Jacob_.

I had sprung for one new piece of furniture, and I had butterflies in my stomach every time I looked at it. It sat in the middle of the enormous bedroom; a brand new king size four-poster bed. I had no idea how Jacob was going to react to that particular piece of furniture.

Jacob had to finish up a car before he was free to leave on the 1st. I invented a story about needing to fill out some paperwork that the school said I'd forgotten to send back. He agreed that since we were going to need both cars in Seattle anyway I'd go out early, fill out the paperwork and pick up the keys and he could just meet me at the apartment.

I was such a bad liar I almost blew it by laughing when he said I could pick up the keys…

This was supposed to just be a trip to claim the apartment; Jake said we could start moving stuff in the 1st part of the week. I knew better, so I slipped into his room and packed some of his clothes and took them with me. I already had all the stuff he'd left at Charlie's.

So August 1st I kissed Jacob goodbye, barely able to contain myself and set off for Seattle. I had all of my clothes, the clothes I'd packed for Jacob and a box full of 'housewarming decorations' that Emily had helped me assemble.

I got to the apartment shortly after 10am and let myself in with my key. I couldn't stop smiling… _It's really ours… Our home…_

I busied myself getting our clothes put away and then I went out to my truck and brought in the box. Emily and Sam were keeping an eye on Jacob. Emily called me just after 11 letting me know that Jake was en route. I thanked her and started rushing around putting the finishing touches on everything. I still wanted to shower and change before he actually arrived.

Half an hour later I was satisfied with my efforts. I smiled to myself as I hurried into the bathroom to shower.

After my shower I combed out my hair, washed my face and brushed my teeth. I slipped into my jeans and a U of WA t-shirt that Charlie had bought for me when we'd driven out to tour the campus. I flitted around the house lighting the candles I had set out and drew all the blinds blocking out as much light as possible.

I went to the refrigerator and retrieved the bottle of champagne that Emily had bought for us and put it in a bucket of ice. I grabbed it and two long stemmed glasses and carried them to the coffee table. I turned on the stereo – Sam had come by the week before and wired everything up for me, and sat down on the couch to wait…


	20. Chapter Twenty

**A/N: One of the MANY absolutely wonderful things about writing this story is the people that I've had a chance to talk to because of it. I want to thank each and every one of you for your reviews. I want to recognize a couple of you in particular for making me laugh and smile and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Sooo…BgirlAngelSpike – I want to dedicate the first part of this chapter to you. You know why & I love ya for it! AND ilovejessssss the latter part of this chapter is for you bay-bay! I hope I can live up to your expectations!**

**With that being said…**

**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

* * *

Chapter 20:

**** Jacob PoV ****

The drive into Seattle seemed twice as long without Bella in the car, and I couldn't remember the traffic _EVER_ moving so slow. I gave the Rabbit's horn a good workout, and exchanged more than my fair share of one-fingered waves before I finally got into our neighborhood. _Yeah, I like the way that sounds…_ I spotted a little pizza place on the corner, just two streets away from ours – _yep and I'll say it again…_ _Ours…_

So I stopped in, thinkin' I'd surprise Bella with some lunch. I placed my order and stood off to the side to wait. At first I found myself staring at the clock, and it looked like it was ticking in slow motion. I glanced down at the time on my phone, huh – nope I really had only been waiting three minutes. I was restless, antsy – I _needed_ to see Bella. _Had I really just kissed her goodbye a few hours ago?_ Feels like forever ago. I hadn't had a chance to spend near enough time with her all damn summer. It seemed like we spent more than half the time we were together asleep, we'd both been stupid busy. I was missin' her like crazy all of a sudden. I was glad we were moving in now – give us time to get settled and spend some time together before classes started up in September.

"#36…" the kid at the counter called out impatiently.

I grabbed the boxes, paid and practically ran outta there and to my car. I pulled out and quickly made my way the short distance to _our new home_. I couldn't help smiling as I parked and grabbed the pizza boxes. I felt like I was going to jump outta my skin as I rushed up to _our_ door. I took a deep breath trying to get it together before going inside. I opened the door and was surprised at how dark it was inside, after being out in the sun it took my eyes several seconds to adjust to the dimness.

I closed the door and took a step forward just as my vision cleared. The scent of strawberries overpowered my senses. Strawberries… Like Bella's hair… I saw her sitting on the couch… _Wait a second where'd that come from?_ The place looked like it was already furnished. _What had she been up to?_ I turned my attention back to her to ask and I couldn't help but gasp. The flickering of the many strawberry-scented candles she had set around the room caused the light to dance across her face and her eyes in such a way that… that…

She was just _so damn_ beautiful… She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt but there wasn't a woman in a million dollar dress that could hold a candle to Bella and her natural beauty. Her dark hair hung damp around her shoulders; her chestnut brown eyes that I could read like an open book were sparkling. I didn't realized I'd moved, I think I dropped the pizza boxes on the floor, but I was standing in front of her, looking down into those gorgeous orbs of hers. Everything else in the entire world ceased to exist. I felt myself falling, swimming in her deep brown eyes.

I think she said my name… but I'm not sure. My eyes traveled to her mouth to see if she was talking. Her pale pink lips were begging to be kissed. _And_ k_issed often… Kissed gently… And then kissed hard… God I just wanted to kiss her... Forever… Without ever stopping… For the rest of my life_…

I was incapable of cognizant thought, reduced to primitive urges and the desperate need to act on them.

And then, everything shifted and I felt the entire universe realign itself – and Bella was it's new center. _Whatever the question – the answer was Bella. If there was an ailment – Bella was the cure. Bella was everything and everywhere and I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that she would be that way forever. I wanted to live for her and I would die for her. She made me whole, she was my other half – she completed me -_ and it was the most unbelievable feeling in the entire world.

As many candles as she had lit around us, their combined luminance paled in comparison to the glow she seemed to be emitting. I was sitting on the couch next to her, her tiny hands ensconced in mine. I could feel electricity traveling through our bodies, stemming from that point of contact. Her eyes were dark and her lids appeared heavy, she was chewing on that lower lip of hers. I gently placed her hands back in her lap and withdrew mine; and the electricity that had raged through my body disappeared.

She looked up at me questioningly and I laid my hand on her thigh, once again feeling the current jolt through me. My heart was pounding and I could barely muster a whisper when I asked her, "Bells, did you _feel_ that?" I removed my hand from her leg and again the feeling subsided. She looked a little dazed, but she nodded her head; a smile lit up her beautiful face and she brought her hand up to softly graze my cheek. I saw her start when the electricity jolted through her hand and my cheek as soon as the contact was made. _Yeah, she felt it._

I couldn't believe it. I knew _exactly_ what had just happened, I'd kind of experienced it vicariously through the thoughts and memories of some of my pack brothers. We _**BELONGED**_ together; I'd _always_ known it… but…

I raised my hand toward my face to cover hers; my skin tingled as the electrical current racing between us intensified. Her cheeks were flushed the most beautiful shade of pink; and her heart was pounding – in perfect harmony with my own.

Her eyes locked with mine and her pink cheeks turned bright red; her eyes shined brighter than I'd ever seen them before. I saw the tip of her tongue slip out to moisten her dry lips.

I felt pulled to her magnetically… Literally – physically pulled to her… It was undeniable. Not that **I** _wanted_ to fight it…

She was leaning into me, her face… those lips… getting closer and closer. Her lips brushed gently against mine. She turned to graze my cheek with her own as she whispered into my ear, "I love you Jacob." Her breath felt so warm against my ear, my breath caught when I felt her tongue flick against the back of my lobe; she nipped it gently and a shudder ran through my spine. I could feel her cheek burn hotter as her blush deepened. She pulled back, just far enough to look deep into my eyes, and in a voice I'd never heard her use before – deep, kind of rough, definitely sexy – she said, "Welcome home."

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her across my lap. I leaned my face to hers and rubbed my nose against hers until she giggled lightly. I kept my nose pressed lightly against her skin as I made my way across her cheek and up to her forehead. I pressed my lips firmly to her skin just shy of her hairline. Her skin was like warm silk under my lips. I moved to kiss her half closed eyes, first one then the other. I did the same to each of her rosy cheeks. I nipped at the tip of her nose. I skipped over her beautiful lips to plant a soft kiss on her chin.

When I came back to her lips I brought my index finger up to trace over them lightly, they parted as the faintest, sweetest moan escaped them. Her arms went around my neck and I felt her pulling me closer. I didn't require much coaxing as I pulled her closer and took that slightly swollen lower lip between mine. I sucked on it gently and felt her fingers tangle into my hair. I traced her lips with my tongue and gently grazed the soft flesh of her lower lip with my teeth.

Bella's fingers tightened in my hair and I couldn't stifle the groan when I felt _her_ teeth against _my_ lip. Her tongue stroked mine as she pressed herself as tightly against me as she could.

As reluctant as either of us were to stop the need for air caused us to pull back, panting and staring into each other's eyes. We sat there silently for several minutes the sounds of our ragged breathing slowing and finally quieting.

Bella surprised me by making to disentangle herself from me and stand up. I had no intention of letting her go anywhere, so I tightened my embrace and puller her tighter still.

She let out an exasperated sigh, "Jacob, let me up. Come on… Please! I want to show you something."

I raised an eyebrow at her and flashed her a cocky grin, expecting her to blush brighter and act all shy like she usually did when I found some unintended innuendo in something she said. _Boy was I off…_

She raised her eyebrow right back at me and gave me some sexy ass smirk, like she was daring me to do something… _What's with that???_ Feeling like she was issuing some unknown challenge I kissed her on the forehead again and released my grip.

She climbed out of my lap and stood in front of me chewing on her swollen lower lip. I wondered if she even knew how hot that was…

She took my hand and I noticed that she looked kind of nervous, almost shy for a minute. She looked up at me and her eyes flashed - nerves gone – she had a plan. Her voice was still deep and raw sounding when she started filling me in on that plan.

"I was going to give you like a tour and show you everything Emily and I had done, but I umm I think maybe we'll break the tour into two parts. I'll give you part of the tour now and the rest later." She immediately went back to nervously chewing on that damn lip.

I couldn't talk… I half noticed that she had apparently already set up at least part of the apartment, but I couldn't focus on anything but her and all the beautiful individual parts of her. Her hair… Her eyes… Her lips… The gentle swells until her enormous t-shirt… I nodded dumbly praying we could get through her tour quickly. I just wanted to tour her sweet mouth some more, my lips were missing hers somethin' fierce.

She raised her free arm gesturing to the room around us smiling, "Here's the living room." She licked her lips and started pulling me toward the bathroom. "This is stocked and ready for use," she said. I noticed she didn't really even pause for me to see anything; but I was nothing less than grateful for that in all honesty.

She opened the other bathroom door and took a deep breath before stepping through and pulling me behind her. I was still staring at her, completely lost in her beauty, when I realized that she was holding her breath.

I gave my head a shake trying to clear it and noticed that there were lit candles set up everywhere in here also. I also noticed the centerpiece of the room, the reason she was holding her breath – just seeing it there made me stop breathing too – the bed. Just one, singular king sized bed. _**Our**__ bed? No! Is it?_ My eyes were huge when I turned to look at her, a million questions running rampant through my mind.

She was staring at me, gauging my reaction. My jaw was slack; I closed my mouth and opened it again desperately trying to find my voice. After struggling with myself for over a minute, I was able to choke out "Bella? …What? I don't…"

Bella stepped closer, and for some reason I backed up. She had that sexy smirk on her face and a mischievous glint in her eye as she advanced again. I stepped back again and found myself against the wall. Bella stepped forward again looking up at me. She put her hand on my chest and said in a light teasing tone, "Come on Jake, I'd think _YOU_ would be a little more _mature_ about this."

I dipped down sliding my arm behind her knees and picked her up off her feet; and carried her bridal style to the huge bed. I stood there, holding her above the bed, staring down into her beautiful face. I never would have believed it was possible to _feel_ as much as I was feeling right then.

I gently laid her on the bed and crawled up beside her, she was quick to turn to me and cover my lips with her own. _I will __**NEVER**__ get tired of kissing Bella. __**NEVER**__._

I grazed her lip with my teeth and caressed it with my tongue, requesting access to her beautiful mouth. She parted her lips and gave it to me. Our tongues danced as we explored each other's mouths.

I slid an arm under her shoulders and pulled her closer to me. I broke the kiss, but only to bring my lips to her ear and trail kisses down her neck and along her collarbone. She raked her nails up and down my back through my shirt. My free hand rose to cup her breast, I reveled in how it felt, so soft and firm at the same time. Her breath hitched when I ran my thumb across her nipple so that it peaked up through the fabric of her shirt.

I pulled back easing my arm out from under her and pulled the hem of her shirt up and over her head. I stared down at her in awe for a moment before my fingers went to the waist of her jeans. I deftly unfastened them and she lifted her hips to help me pull them off before dropping them onto the floor with her abandoned shirt.

She was laying there in her bra and a pair of blue cotton panties. She looked so beautiful, so pure, so trusting… My chest ached.

I crawled over her, resting most of my weight on my arms, and crushed her lips with mine. I shoved my tongue past her lips, over her teeth and into her mouth claiming her as my own; every place where her bare skin touched mine was tingling. The electrical current we'd felt on the couch was nothing compared to what was currently raging through my body.

I trailed kissed down her pale throat grazing my teeth against the skin at the hollow of her neck. I kissed down her chest and pushed my face deep into the valley between her breasts, running my tongue against her flesh. She whimpered and her hands fisted in my hair. I came up for air and was almost giddy to see the clasp in the front of her bra. I unhooked it and the fabric keeping her breasts hidden practically sprang loose. I leaned down and kissed and licked and nipped her right nub, while cupping and kneading her left breast with my hand. As her breathing became ragged I switched, wanting to ensure equal treatment to both sides.

I returned to my trail of kisses, wanting to explore every inch of her body. I kissed a path down her belly, circling her belly button before journeying downward to the waistband of her panties where I kissed my way from hipbone to hipbone. I resumed my exploration trailing more kisses down the outside of her right leg. I kissed the top and the bottom of her right foot and did the same to her left before planting kisses up the outside of her left leg. When I got back up to the cotton fabric I followed it over to her innermost thigh. Her skin was so soft there, and I could smell her arousal. Her hips bucked as I ran my tongue along that silky smoothness. I continued my trail of kisses down the inside of her left leg, pausing long enough to kiss and lick the bend of her knee before progressing downward. I pressed my lips to her right ankle and made my way back up, again pausing a moment at the bend of her knee. When I got to her innermost thigh this time I moved on to plant a firm kiss right on the cotton covering her center. She moaned out loud when my lips pressed against her warmth; her hips rocked backward and her hands ripped at my hair forcing me tighter against her. I moaned into the damp cotton, and forced myself to pull away.

I ran my hands up her legs, across her hips, and along her stomach. I wanted to touch, to feel, to _KNOW_ every inch of her. I cupped her breasts and traced their peaks with my thumbs.

All the while, she was making these… _Incredible_ noises! Every time she'd moan or groan or… oh god when said _my name,_ all hot and breathy-like… the throbbing pressure trying to burst out of my jeans would increase. It was nearing unbearable, but I'd spent _WAY_ too much time thinking and dreaming about this to go rushing through it now.

I slid my hands up her slender neck, letting my nails gently rake against her perfect porcelain skin. I caressed her cheeks with my thumbs as I ran my hands through her hair. Down her shoulders, my fingers memorizing the lines of her arms, and the palms of her hands and the tips of her fingers... I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of her panties and slowly slid them down her legs and off her feet.

I gazed down at her, my eyes hungrily drinking in every inch of her fully exposed body. _She was absolutely __**glorious**_ – and I don't think I've _EVER_ used that word before…

She noticed my intense scrutiny and blushed even deeper, though I wouldn't have thought it possible. I couldn't believe it. She felt self-conscious! She had no idea just how fuckin' beautiful she was, absolutely no idea.

"Bella," I said, my voice raspy, "you are beautiful… The **most** beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on." She smiled up at me, a shy smile, like she'd had back when she'd first moved in with her dad. "I love you so much Bella," I whispered.

She pushed herself up onto her elbows and looked me up and down. She bit down on her lip and looked away for a moment. "Jacob," she said in that sultry, sexy voice. "My clothes are all in the floor, yet there you stand fully dressed." Her face flushed crimson, "that just… doesn't seem very fair to me."

My eyebrows shot up and I felt my jaw drop – that was the equivalent to Bella Swan saying _'Jake get nekkid,'_ and well… that's just not somethin' I hear everyday... It's also _not_ something I could refuse her.

I stood at the foot of the bed and kicked off my shoes as I pulled my t-shirt over my head. I quickly stepped out of my jeans and boxers at the same time and tossed them onto the pile.

I grabbed her ankles and ran my hands up her legs to her knees. I gently pushed them further apart and crawled up between her legs, keeping my eyes locked on hers, searching for any sign of doubt or hesitation. I didn't see either.

I lowered my face to her center, my eyes glued to hers until my chin brushed her patch of hair. I buried my face between her thighs and she fell back onto the pillow with a loud drawn out moan as I tasted and explored her lower lips. She rocked her hips and tore at my hair. I delighted in tasting, her depths and when I found that swollen spot that made her cry out my name, I worshipped it.

She was trembling when I pulled away, her body wracked with pleasure.

I crawled up her tiny frame and brought my lips down on hers hard. I kissed her with every ounce of passion I felt for her. I reached down and guided myself to her entrance, and when I was there I broke the kiss. Breathless and panting I looked deep into those beautiful dark brown eyes and asked, "Are you sure Bells?"

She bit her bottom lip and nodded her head vigorously. Her eyes still showed no doubt, no hesitation; but she was afraid. I wished like hell there was some way I could take the impending pain away from her. I leaned down to her ear and whispered, "bite, scratch… pull my hair… when I hurt you – so I know." She nodded again as she ran her hands down my back.

I pressed forward slowly and gasped – the heat… the wet… and she fit me like a glove. I felt her tense up and I stopped. It took every iota of self-restraint to do it. I kissed her neck and nipped at her ear until I felt her relax again. I felt her barrier and my own body tensed knowing that I was about to hurt her. I pulled back just a little, trying not to notice how good it felt, and pressed in past her point of resistance. She cried out in obvious pain, her nails dug deep into my back… so hard that I cursed out loud. _I couldn't take her pain away, but I could share it with her._

I held still, raining kisses along her throat and across her cheeks, I kissed her mouth softly, gently trying to distract her from her obvious discomfort. She relaxed after a couple minutes and I pressed on sheathing myself completely within her. I gave her a minute to adjust to me before I started moving in slow, gentle strokes. After another minute she started moving with me, rocking her hips to match my movements.

She wrapped her legs around my waist; and I felt like the fiery electrical current that was raging through me was assaulting every nerve ending. I felt myself joined to Bella in a way much deeper than our current physical union. I felt us float away together to a place where no one and no thing else existed. It was just Bella and I and the extraordinary pleasure that we were sharing.

Her head was thrashing from side to side. I felt the pressure within me rising higher and higher. I could hear Bella calling out to me, her nails dug into my backside as she writhed and bucked against me. I felt her internal muscles lock down onto me as she screamed my name sending me over the edge. I called out to her, waves of pleasure coursing through me as I shot fire into her.

She was clutching herself to me; only her hair touched the bed. I leaned to my side and fell onto the bed wrapping my arms around her and pulling her as tight against me as I dared.

I felt so full of love for the girl lying in my arms that I expected she could feel it washing over her.

I looked down into her face and met her wide-eyed smile with one of my own. We were both still gasping for breath, but she tried to speak between gasps. "Jake!" her voice full of wonder, "that was... oh my god!" She giggled and blushed what was now one of my favorite shades of pink. "That was _**AMAZING!"**_

My smile spread to cover my entire face. I had no idea how to respond to that. Should I say 'thanks'? I pulled her as tight against my chest as I could and instead said, "I love you Bella."

Her eyes were closed, I had to strain to hear her when she said, "I love you too Jacob." She sounded like she was already half asleep. I held her close and listened to her breathing become deep and even as she drifted off to sleep.

When I was sure she was sound asleep I crawled out from behind her and got out of the bed. I went to the living room and picked up the pizza boxes I had dropped earlier. I went around blowing out candles before taking the boxes to the kitchen. I helped myself to three pieces before sliding the boxes into the fridge. I glanced around as I ate noticing for the first time all the work Bella had put into getting this place ready for us without my knowledge. I started to feel guilty for not having noticed earlier, but visions of our afternoon together in the bedroom quickly erased that. She'd had a bottle of champagne in a bucket of ice on the coffee table, I picked it up and freshened up the ice from the freezer and figured I could have it waiting for us when she woke up from her nap.

I returned to the bedroom and started blowing out the candles in there. Once they were all extinguished I crawled back into bed behind Bella and she immediately snuggled into my chest.

I yawned and felt myself drifting off to hopefully join Bella in dreamland. As I was drifting I knew that today made EVERYTHING worthwhile. All the pain, frustration and aggravation of our early days, our post-Edward days – I would re-live it all as long as I knew that I would end up here in Bella's bed and most importantly in Bella's heart.


	21. Epilogue

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**I of course own no part of Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's wonderful characters...**

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**Epilogue:**

****Jacob PoV****

I lay there next to Bella wondering how I'd ever managed to end up so damn lucky. I mean here I was lying next to the most beautiful woman on the planet and she wanted ME… We were getting ready to start a whole new life together. We'd finish college and maybe buy a house closer to home. I hoped to stay close to Forks and La Push, but we hadn't talked about anything that far ahead of us yet.

I'd dozed for maybe half an hour, but then I couldn't fall back to sleep, and as much as I was lovin' having her silky smooth skin pressed up against mine, there was something I really needed to do. So I slid back out of bed, slipped into my boxers and dug my phone out of the pocket of my jeans. I crept back out of the bedroom silently pulling the door closed behind me. I stopped in the kitchen and grabbed the opened pizza box outta the fridge. I hunted through the fully stocked cabinets until I found a glass, and spent a minute in silent reverence and awe of the amazing woman currently sleeping in the next room.

I filled the glass with water from the tap and carried it, my phone and the pizza box to the table in the far corner of the kitchen. I chewed a piece of cold pizza as I picked up my phone and scrolled through my contact list. I found Sam Uley and hit send; he answered on the second ring.

"Hey Jake, you make it to Seattle yet?"

"Sam. Yeah, yeah I'm here, been here a few hours… Listen, man…" I struggled for words, and just couldn't find them. There was only one way I could get him to understand what had happened and what I needed to know. "Sam… Could we um, phase and talk that way? Save on minutes and all?" I tried to make light of my request.

"Sure Jake, we can do that. Is everything ok?" He asked, his voice filling with concern.

"Oh yeah… nothin' to worry about," I assured him.

"OK," Sam replied, not sounding entirely convinced. "Give me ten minutes to talk to Em and get to the forest."

I thanked him and hung up, taking note of the time so I'd know when to expect him. I ran to the bedroom and grabbed my jeans pulling them on as I walked back out of the room. I'd seen an area on my way in, near the pizza parlor, where I should be able to get away with phasing long enough to talk to Sam. I found a pen and paper in a drawer in the kitchen and wrote Bella a quick note just in case she woke up before I got back.

I didn't bother with shoes; I quickly drove the short distance to the small but densely wooded area I'd notice on my drive in earlier. Seven minutes after hanging up with him I left my keys and my phone hidden in my car and ran into the trees. There didn't seem to be anyone near, so I shed my clothes and felt the fire erupt from within and I exploded into my wolf form. Sam was waiting.

"Jacob, what?"

Without a word I focused on the events that had transpired earlier. I tried to stop the memory at when Bella and I left the living room but a few bits and pieces beyond that demanded to be relived.

"Jacob!" Sam's thoughts boomed happily through my head, that's great man! Wow, you finally imprinted on Bella. And I um," he chuckled, "I take it things went well from there?"

"Dude, you're starting to sound like Jared, shut up," I growled, but I knew he was happy for me.

"Sooo…" Sam prompted, "What's up? You didn't need me to confirm that you imprinted…"

"No, it's just that… Well… I thought it was supposed to happen the first time you see your "imprintee" after you start phasing? Ya know 'like love at first sight only stronger?' Isn't that how they describe it?"

Sam sighed, "That's how some people describe it yes. I do have a theory, but mind you that's all it is. You wanna hear it?"

"Sure," I said interested in any insight I might be able to gain from him.

"OK, so we think the purpose of imprinting is to ensure the strongest potential for future wolves right?"

"Yeah..." I knew this part damn it. _Patience? Not so much…_

"Well, I think she wasn't really capable of _being_ that person for you until she finally got over the bloodsucker and all the shit he put her through."

"And all that suddenly happened today?" I asked uncertainly.

"Well now, that wouldn't exactly be a question for me now would it?" he teased.

"Look," he started, "like I said it's just a theory, but I think Bella had some internal battles or issues that she had to get through before she really was right for you. Whatever it was, it obviously isn't anymore. Maybe you should just focus on that." I could hear him smiling, "Damn Jake, how long have you been pining away for this girl? Well… she's yours now," he laughed, "so shut the fuck up and go be happy."

He was laughing, and then he was gone. I phased back and yanked on my jeans opting to carry the boxers instead of taking the time to put them on also. I ran back to my car and drove back home in a daze.

Sam was right. I had everything I could ask for and here I was over-thinking shit… trying to sabotage my own happiness before I'd even had a chance to experience more than a minute of it.

I got out of my car and headed up to our door; I could still smell traces of the strawberry candles she'd had burning earlier. Stepping across the threshold and into our apartment, I felt a wave of peace settle over me. Bella was holding the refrigerator door open with one hand and holding a slice of pizza to her lips with the other, wearing nothing but her enormous U of WA t-shirt. She turned hearing me come in and her face lit up with a big beautiful smile. She released the refrigerator door and rushed to greet me with a warm hug and a pizza flavored kiss. My mind wandered to the lifetime of welcome homes I had to look forward to with Bella. I lifted her into my arms and carried her into the bedroom - where we would predominantly spend the next two weeks…

(App. Five years later…)

**Edward's PoV**

It had been nearly six years since I'd paid a visit to Forks. We were vacationing as a family in Europe when Alice had the vision. It took her by complete surprise because it was the first vision she'd had regarding Bella in over five years, and the few she'd had since the cliff diving incident were fuzzy and often unreadable. But this was crystal clear; it even frightened me at first. Bella was screaming in agony and panting heavily. She let out an ear-piercing scream and collapsed onto a pillow. Jacob was at her side and a moment later they were presented with an infant.

"A baby…" Alice muttered in awe.

"What's going on Alice?" Jasper asked as he wrapped his arm around her protectively, his face full of concern.

"Baby?" Rosalie chimed in.

I cleared my throat and all of them, less Alice, turned to look at me. "It would appear," I started, "that Bella is… with child."

Their thoughts were filled with loving awe and happiness for Bella. I wanted to be happy for Bella, but instead I felt the familiar ache in my chest. I rose from my seat where we'd been people watching and headed back down the sidewalk to our hotel where I could brood privately.

Alice was at my side a moment later. "He stopped transforming," she informed me. "They can decide to do that and after a while they start aging again. I think that's why I can see them now. Edward they're going to be so happy. I hope knowing that gives you some shred of happiness in return."

I tried to push the situation from my mind, but I simply couldn't avoid thinking about it. I tried to imagine Bella pregnant, her belly swollen as though she had a basketball hidden under her shirt. I couldn't quite picture it. I wondered what the child would look like, and if its mind would be closed to me like Bella's.

It was almost a year later; we were visiting Denali while awaiting Carlisle's latest hospital transfer to go through. I'd been out hunting and was just returning home. Alice was sitting on the front porch swing as I walked up the steps. She stiffened, her eyes glazing over momentarily, "You're going to Forks? Edward… Why now?" she asked quietly.

I stepped inside hoping she wouldn't follow and knowing that she would. "I just need to go... I guess, maybe I just need to see for myself."

Alice gave me a sympathetic half-smile. _'Can I come with you?'_ she asked silently.

"I don't know Alice," I told her, "I don't want a big production like last time. I just want to go and see, perhaps hear _his_ thoughts…"

'Just you and I?' she thought. Her eyes wide and pleading, Her own thoughts filled with joy at the prospect of glimpsing Bella again. She loved and missed her almost as much as I did.

I sighed in resignation and nodded to her in acknowledgement. I could not deny her when I understood her need as well as I did.

She followed me into my room and we set about making plans for our upcoming trip. Alice made all of the necessary travel arrangements, we'd be heading out the very next day and we'd be in Forks the following morning. I was a mess of nerves and anticipation.

We arrived in Forks shortly before noon and spent the overcast afternoon in town. At the local library Alice did some research in an effort to locate Bella and her family. It appeared as though Jacob and Isabella Black had married right after they both graduated from the University of Washington. They bought a piece of land that ironically straddled the old treaty line, where they'd built a house and lived ever since.

Jacob and two partners had recently opened a garage in Forks and were doing quite well for themselves. We drove past it, but according to the thoughts of the men working inside Jacob was spending the day at home. Bella worked from home as a freelance writer. The thoughts of the local residents showed that they were both a well-known and well-liked couple.

Just after sunset we decided to head out to 'visit' the happy family. We parked my Volvo at the old house and set off walking through the woods. Just before the treaty line we encountered a clearing that I didn't remember being there before. We stayed within the safety of the trees and skirted the clearing. After walking another moment we caught a glimpse of a moderate split-level home in the middle of the clearing. There was a patio behind the house and sprawled on a chaise lounge on the patio was a sight more breathtaking than I could have ever prepared myself for.

Isabella Black, wearing cut off shorts and a navy blue tank top, was leaning back in the chaise her nose stuck in a paperback book. I couldn't think of the woman I was gazing upon as Bella. There appeared to be very little of the girl I knew left in this exquisite, mature, sexy woman. Her bosom appeared heavier; her hips had become more round, her waist was more pronounced and her legs had filled out and had a lean muscular appearance to them.

Just a foot or two away from her was a baby swing complete with a dark haired pink skinned infant swinging in the seat. The child was dressed in pink confirming Alice's vision of a daughter. Even from our distant perch I could see that the tiny child had her mother's beautiful brown eyes. The swing stopped moving and the little one inside cried out her disapproval. Bella rose from her spot on the lounger and was at the little one's side in a second. She moved with a dancer's grace, nothing like the awkward self-conscious girl I had known. She lifted the child into her arms and returned to her chaise cooing and talking in high-pitched silly tones.

The sliding glass door leading into the house opened and out stepped Jacob Black. His face instantly broke into a wide smile when he looked at his wife and daughter. He smelled human and I remembered Alice saying he had given up being a wolf so that he could grow old with Bella.

I envied him that; if I'd had the option to stop being the monster that I was in order to be with Bella I would've done it in a second. But that was simply not meant to be.

Jacob looked out toward our hidden spot in the trees, and he wondered if he should tell Bella that we were here. I was shocked at his casual attitude. He smiled toward the trees remembering their first day in their first apartment when they'd gone off to college together. He wanted me to know that he had in fact imprinted on Bella. His thoughts were in no way malicious, he meant to assure me of his bond to her. He remembered exactly how it had felt when it happened and I was in fact left in awe.

'You don't have to hide in the woods and spy on us,' he thought, 'you could come say hello to Bella and meet Alicia.' He didn't feel the least bit threatened by my presence.

There was no way that I could approach her. I'd walked the earth for over a century but at that moment I felt like a mere child and she was unquestionably all woman. I was not worthy of her presence.

Alice had been staring in silent reverence at the woman she'd once cared so dearly for and the infant she yearned to touch and know.

Isabella pulled herself up and handed her bundle to Jacob, she kissed her child and her husband before gliding into the house.

Jacob looked toward us again shrugged his broad shoulders and grinned happily, 'Thank you Edward,' he said wordlessly and followed his beautiful wife into the house.

*** THE END ***

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**A/N:** I Just wanted to take a minute to say thank you to each and every one of you that read and reviewed &/or PM'ed me about this story. I had an absolute blast writing this and just as much fun talking to and sharing ideas with alot of you. I've decided to Try a sequel (several of you have asked me about it) but I think instead of it being an actual Jacob/Bella story it will focus on their children {of course they'll still be together just not the main characters.} I'm working on an outline for it now & I'll update this story one last time to let everybody when I get the first chapter of the sequel up (Have lots of ideas that I want to include, but haven't so much as figured out a title yet=/)  
Anyway, thanks again for reading, reviewing & in general supporting me in this!!!  
*Xx- Sonia -xX*


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